Roycroftmom- In a prior thread you described the following…“I was that naive college freshman surprised to learn the punch had grain alcohol at my very first party after I had many glasses. I figured it out when the room started spinning. But even though I became quite drunk and surely legally over the BAC limit, I knew what I was doing, and who I was as a person, and what conduct I would permit. Less inhibited, yes, but I remained conscious, and could still say the word no, which was respected. Adults do have agency, even when inebriated.”
Sounds like you were lucky. Lucky that others respected your wishes, lucky not to have had things spin out of control, lucky not to have been predisposed to alcoholism or substance abuse, lucky to be at Princeton, lucky not to have gotten ill and suffocated etc… But as you highlight you were a naive freshman who was probably 18 years old.
That’s why your judgemental tone towards the OPs actions as a 15 year old are so strikingly hypocritical. You assume her/his decision to use heroin and eventually get sober are a result of a “privileged position in society”. Talk about presumption. Wow. Cast not the first stone…
OP once again stay strong and ignore those who might judge you. You control your future.
Felony conduct can be judged, @nocreativity1. That is why we have laws, and that is what is different. I would be the first to acknowledge my white privilege, and I would think a good essay could be made by OP acknowledging that a person of color, particularly if poor, likely would be in prison now for his activity. I accept responsibility for my conduct, then and now, and of course agree that luck and privilege played a part-as did my own actions in leaving the party. As I have stated repeatedly, I am happy OP is making good progress and wish him well.
^“Felony conduct can be judged”. In fact any behaviour can be judged. That doesn’t mean it should be, particularly by people who don’t know all the facts.
The 17 year old OP certainly didn’t post or ask to be judged by a mature adult. Recall the OP question was should I apply to these colleges not did I bring this on myself.
And my advice is, if mentioning it in admission essays, acknowledge one’s personal responsibility for the conduct and the role outside factors had in the outcome, along with a commitment to better choices in the future. We may just have to disagree about this one, @nocreativity1.
The AMA considers substance abuse disorder an illness. Medical insurance pays for it. The science around it is pretty clear that there is a brain chemistry and genetics involved. And it’s evolving .
And the whole thing is not one bad decision. You don’t show up at a party and everyone says hey let’s all shoot up some heroin that sounds fun. It’s progressive and incremental. It starts with one thing that brings relief to an underlying issue. Depression anxiety social disconnection or General despair. And most with it can’t explain why they feel this way. Because it’s not something you can control. Those without the predisposition or condition cant understand because they can control it. They don’t know why despair needs relief and rhe relief found in drugs and alcohol can become the slippery slope solution. It’s a progressive and fatal disease.
Also there are plenty of other medical conditions brought on by behavioral choices. Smoking. Obesity and resulting type 2 diabetes. HIV/Aids through unprotected or risky sex. And list is much longer. How about the athlete with pain meds and this turns bad. Some can just stop. Others can’t. Would we be so judgemental (at least on a forum in public) with someone overcoming these obstacles and finding relief.
Mental health is a big deal. And a little compassion goes a long way.
Empireapple- “is drug addiction/use a choice or a hardship?”
Your question is flawed as it assumes choice and hardship are both mutually exclusive and the only variables. Addiction has numerous causes and mitigating factors.
Circumstances and age to name a few. The child prescribed painkillers for wisdom teeth who gets hooked as an example had their ability to “choose” compromised and it certainly is a hardship.
Every situation is unique and should not be judged by those not intimately involved and informed. The responsibility and strength to get sober however falls squarely on the individual addict but has a much greater likelihood of success when supported by others.
The OP deserves our support by answering his/her question in a non judgemental way. We don’t know the circumstances surrounding the addiction, but we have a clear picture of strong stats and academic strength while in recovery. Consequently OP is a compelling candidate for elite schools.
a relative of mine is an executive at an addiction center. All races represented there. Payment is Medicaid, private insurance or private pay. To assume OP’s race and sociology-economic status is wrong, and irrelevant. I think any person who is in recovery deserves our support and acknowledgment of how difficult it is to turn their life around. And I’m not going to harshly judge OP for getting addicted in the first place. Lots of kids try stuff. Some get caught in addictions web immediately, others take longer, some not at all. That’s why I think OP can make a big contribution on campus, warning kids not to try it because the results can be devastating
Pretty patronizing, @privatebanker. OP does have some agency in his choces, that is why he rightfully gets much credit for making some good choices now. If it is all outside his control, then frankly we would write off him and millions of others as not worth saving since they can’t control it anyway and are bound to relapse. I am well aware of mental health issues, thanks. Since most people will face the anxiety and depression you cite at least some point in their lives, it behooves us to encourage healthy responses to those issues as much as possible and pointing out one’s personal power to make good choices for themselves. Not everyone can or will, but not everyone is always a victim, either.
Patronizing ? And my post was directed at no one in particular. Not in the least.
Personalizing the discussion reduces the ability to effectively communicate. And debating is against the terms of service. You have a point of view. And others have their own. Disabling the viewpoint of another is in fact, patronizing.
Actions have consequences, but being true to who you are is more important. Having said this, it might not be a bad idea to write a normal central essay and then in another supplemental essay say “you might be wondering about the discrepancy in grades since so and so, and wondering what happened. Well, I was a former drug addict . . . “.
Patronizing would be warning a recovering addict about living with roommates in anticipation of their relapsing and placing their roommates at risk of criminal charges. See post 28.
I would suggest that using the more medical terminology.
“You might notice the marked improvement in my grades over time. My freshman year, as well as, part of my sophomore year, was a troubled time in my life. To be totally honest with the committee, I found myself in the grips of a substance abuse disorder that was taking over my life. If you are to know me, you will need to know a bit about my victory over this illness and the person I have become in the years since that time.”
To be clear. Choices are made, even if beyond someone’s control to make good ones.
And there are definately consequences, both legally and on a societal basis.
This should not to be confused with adversity that cannot be overcome on a physical basis. Such as a birth defect or horrible physical injury due to an accident of some sort.
However, this thread isn’t a usnwr ranking of obstacles. But there are adversity that is more difficult to overcome -these situations
do and should receive more universal praise.
A better path as young person, is to recognize when you are feeling these deeper issues brewing or have a family predisposition. Please seek help and feel comfortable doing so without stigma.
Do not ignore or be ashamed to admit to your parent or teacher. seek out professional mental health counseling and do not turn to self medicating. That’s how it all usually begins. And don’t overuse prescription meds.
But once you get too far down the path it becomes a cunning and baffling foe.
Kudos to those who get back on track and those who are brave at the onset to find better alternatives.
But we can stick our heads in the sand or look at this with a composed and rational view.
There is no reason to applaud the OP more than the great kid with none of these issues. Yet , there is also no need to attack or judge too harshly.
@privatebanker My son is five years sober and would not have “chosen” this life. 90% of individuals who take a drink will not develop an addiction. For the 10% who do, it was not their intention to become an alcoholic and lose everything.
Wow, this really blew up. Thank you guys for all your advice and suggestions.
Also, sorry, I didn’t mean to start an argument. I accept responsibility for my actions. I know what I did was horrible not only to myself but to the people who love me as well. However, I can’t change what I did. It’s part of who I am, and I just have to accept that and try to make myself a better person for the future. I have a great support system now, and I am in a much better place than I was a couple years ago. I’m fortunate enough to have been able to enter rehab and not prison and have loved ones there to help me. I don’t want to play the “victim card”, I just want to transparent with the colleges and let them know who I am before they make a decision on me.
@Lindagaf Yeah, I was thinking about putting it in the additional information section. One of the problems is that, to be honest, I’m really not all that interesting - at least not until recently I suppose. I never got involved in many extracurriculars until after I got sober because why would I want to be president of some club when I could just use? That’s the other problem I guess I didn’t really talk about. Some kids have stellar Extracurriculars all 4 years and are truly dedicated, whilst mine are all 11th and 12th grade for the most part. I do have other stories to tell, but for years my life revolved pretty much solely around drugs. I will definitely check out some of those colleges, and thank you for the advice.
I know what you mean. No one chooses to become addicted. I am only suggesting that it is such a hard road to get off as time goes on, is to try and get off at the first exit with some professional help. Especially for the young people who read CC. This is not some glamorous EC that will help someone live a productive life, let alone get into college.
The OP has unique story and a 4.0 UW and 1580 SAT. Generally this leads to death, institutions or jail.