<p>Dear Fellow Parents,
I just need some perspective from you .daughter is making a major life decision and I am wondering if it is the right one. </p>
<p>She is going into her senior year in chemical engineering this fall, and is currently doing an internship this summer with a major corporation. It is serious R&D work that she is enjoying very much, and this general area is one she is definitely considering as a career option.<br>
Here is the issue: the company has a day set aside to conduct intensive interviews with interns interested in a full-time career after graduation. This requires a significant amount of prep work -- up-to-date resumes, letters of recommendation, a presentation in front of a committee, etc. D has, after some thought, turned down the opportunity to go through this process because she wants to go to grad school. Although the company has provisions for employees to work toward a graduate degree while employed and even pays for it, she does not think she wants to take this path. She says she wants to focus on one thing at a time. Her mentor was a little surprised at her decision; he was encouraging her to consider the study-while-you-work path, one that he is currently following. (She still has time to change her mind.)</p>
<p>Those of you with personal experience in these types of decisions for either yourself or your children, do you think this is wise? I wonder if she is thinking lots of doors magically open after grad school and just dont want her to be disappointed later. She is not interested in a career in academia at this point, she wants to be a scientist in industry.
I appreciate your thoughts.</p>
<p>Just<em>A</em>MOM; I think that is a great opportunity your daughter should reconsider. Maybe an open discusstion with your daught may be helpful. You can present pros and cons of both path.</p>
<p>I think she can be quite successful in her career after graduate school, whether she takes up this opportunity or not. So don't worry about it too much. It won't be her last chance. </p>
<p>That said, I think she should take this opportunity, even if she doesn't think she'd accept the offer (if proffered). It is a wonderful opportunity to experience "the process." Maybe an even better opportunity for the reason that she doesn't actually desperately want the job offer. She can be more relaxed about it in that case. But going through the process of preparing the presentation, doing the interview... this will be good experience for her.</p>
<p>Do you think that she is avoiding it due to fear of rejection? (I don't know your D and this may not apply to her, but it could be the case for some). It would be good to get over that kind of fear, by meeting it head on.</p>
<p>Meaning no disrespect to your D, this one seems to be a no-brainer: If she wants to pursue a Ph.D then definitely go straight to grad school, but if she itends to stop at the Master's level then join the company. Expense aside, a person learns so much during their first professional employment -- things that can't be learned in an academic setting. JMHO.</p>
<p>Ariesathena who is in law school now, got a degree in chem engineering and worked for a couple of years. You might send her an email and ask for her advice.</p>
<p>Just, My son who graduated a couple of months ago was at the same crossroads last summer. His area of interest is architecture, not engineering, but a similar choice -- work or more school? A year ago decided to apply directly to graduate school, but when Fall rolled around and he started working on the applications, he did an about face and decided to delay graduate school and work instead.</p>
<p>I wouldn't be surprised if all of his friends end up with advanced degrees -- law, medicine, MBAs, PhDs are all being talked about; however NONE of them chose to continue directly after graduation. Some are working in career related fields -- architecture, law, Wall Street. Some are doing something altruistic -- Peace Corps, Teach for America, environmental NGOs. Some are just raising funds -- realestate, family business. </p>
<p>The point of this long illustration is that a lot can change in a year's time. An interview or an application doesn't necessarily equate to an offer or an acceptance. My advice to your daughter would be to keep her options open. Go on interviews, research PhD programs, be prepared for both possibilities. The time to make a final choice is "not yet."</p>
<p>If she's already turned down the interview process at the firm that recruited her, she may not be able to become a viable candidate at that firm. I would encourage her, however, to reconsider other opportunities. If engineering is anything like architecture (and I guess that it has similarities) work experience is invaluable to understanding the complexities of the profession and if my son's experience is any indication a "real" job is as much like an internship as lightning is to a lightning bug.:)</p>
<p>I'd encourage her to take advantage of the opportunity to interview. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Updating the resume, gathering recs and preparing a presentation are time-consuming, but would time well-spent even if she opts for grad school next year. I am a big believer in interviewing for the job, even if you aren't sure whether you'd accept it. So much is gained by the process. As far as whether to work or go to grad school, there is still time for that decision. I believe working a year or two in one's chosen field before going on to grad school seems to be the current trend.</p>
<p>I've seen also in my past experience that some people are hard pressed to leave "academia" even with firm offers with substantial compensation already in place.</p>
<p>You know your daughter. Apply it or discount it as appropriate.</p>
<p>I would say she should go through the interview process. If she truly decides it's not what she wants later, she can always decline but it she doesn't take the opportunity to give it a go, she won't have the luxury of making a choice later. A bird in hand is worth..?</p>
<p>I think she should have done the interview process, but this is her decision. You ask whether we think her decision is wise. I don't think it is, but it doesn't matter what I think. Give your advice when asked. If you're not asked, I think it's OK to state your worries shortly once--not more. In the end, though, this is her call to make. Let her make it.</p>
<p>Although I agree with the posters, the painful part is that it is your daughter's decision, and though you can advise her, you know the old adage, you can lead a horse to water....I am not criticizing your concern in any way, rather empathizing. My daughter thinks I am a traitor to the cause for suggesting she consider the state law school when the time comes. Its tuition is 1/3 the tuitions of the elite law schools she has her heart set on, and though I am totally funding UG, I don't have funds for elite law school. I hate the idea of her being $100,000 in debt, but it won't be my decision.</p>
<p>Perhaps the argument already mentioned that just the interviewing would be a good experience would allow her to leave the door open.</p>
<p>one thing to consider, does she want to be locked into one corporation? is there a contract or something she has to complete? is there maybe something about the coorporation? doing something for a summer is very different than a fulltime job- the politics, the people, etc</p>
<p>We have no idea the corporate environment, etc, they may be playing a part in the decision- subconsiouly or not</p>
<p>There are places I would wokr part time for or temp but never a lifetime</p>
<p>So, think about other issues that may be in place, and maybe D sees some limitations to the work, that as a student she can tolerate, but as an employee, may not work for her</p>
<p>Thank you all for your responses. I knew I would get wonderful insight from all of you. Yes, her intention is to pursue a Ph.D. She has been talking to folks who are currently at the firm, and has seen people come in at various stages of their lives...some right after undergrad, some after Masters degrees, many after PhDs, some after years of experience elsewhere. Most higher level folks in the R&D area have at least a Masters degree.<br>
I am encouraging her to go through the interview process, but it looks like her mind is made up. She says she doesn't want to play games with the company if she is sure she doesn't want to follow a career path at this time. </p>
<p>Jmmom, good thought about fear of rejection....I am not sure if this is the case, but she mentioned that her project is going to require a lot of work during the next few weeks as things wind down at the end of the summer, and she is anticipating long hours. Maybe she thinks she cannot do her best preparing for the interview and at the same time finish up the project to her satisfaction.<br>
Mythmom--I understand completely. Mine has her heart set on trying for an elite grad school too--probably part of the reason she doesn't want to get tempted to stray from this path. Hopefully she will get an assistantship as we are funding UG too, and will not be able to support grad school tuition.</p>
<p>I don't know anything about your daughter, but one thing I really came to respect and admire about my son was that he was confident enough to know when to say no to workplace opportunities. He interrupted his studies to work, and at his first job they kept offering him a promotion that he kept turning down.... he finally did accept the promotion because the offer improved. I think my son had a sense of something I didn't understand -- the value of the lost "opportunity" cost with acceptance of the offer. In his case, the promotion required him to agree to at least a one-year contract of employment, and he wanted to keep his options open to attend school the following year. </p>
<p>Later on, the same thing happened again -- he had a different job, was planning to return to school in the fall, and was offered a high-paying job... and turned it down. </p>
<p>Sometimes, success in life comes from knowing when to pass up some opportunities either to keep focused on one's personal goals, or to hold out for a better opportunity. </p>
<p>The reason that I respect my son's judgment so much is that I personally would have a tendency to grab the first seemingly good opportunity that came along. He seems more able to define his own personal goals and turn away offers that don't meet his personal threshhold. </p>
<p>Now, my son is not employed in a field that is particularly competitive, so it may be that he can afford to be choosy. At the same time, I think that parents are not really in a position to second guess their kids all that much. If your daughter is not comfortable about applying for the job at the company where she is now employed as an intern, it may be that she has a gut-level feeling that this particular company is not the one she wants to commit her life and future to, even though she like the internship. After all, there's a big difference between a summer fling and a marriage, and maybe this company just isn't the "one" for her. She may not be able to articulate what it is that makes her uneasy right now -- or perhaps she can but doesn't really want to share the details -- but there may be very valid issues that would cause her a great deal of unhappiness later on. </p>
<p>So I am with those who have suggested that, if your daughter hasn't asked for your advice... don't give it. You really don't know the whole story. This may be a place that is offering a wonderful experience for a summer intern, but where your daughter's prospects for promotion or career satisfaction with long-term employment are not as good as they would be with another company.</p>
<p>Although the company tuition reimbursement programs are great, it's a long road and can be incredibly grueling, depending on the difficulty of the grad program and the stress of the job. Maybe your daughter realizes how much time and commitment would be required to be successful at the company. She knows how much time she'd have to spend on grad level classes, and probably can't imagine doing both for the number of years that it would take to get her PhD. I wouldn't be so quick to look at this as a "no-brainer".</p>
<p>It look like your daughter know what she want. I'll prefer my D. to go for graduate school directly. Advance degree is important for R&D work which your daughter like to do. Also at school she may get better chance to meet her future mate.</p>
<p>She is making a great business decision. Congratulate her on her daring.</p>
<p>There is no reason in the world why she should allow a company to indenture her during grad school. Companies will still be hot to trot when she graduates and one or two will probably offer to pay off her grad school loans as a signing incentive. I've seen that happen--and seen the kid still turn it down in favor of a better career track at a better company.</p>
<p>Loans are easy to pay off when your starting salary is $125K at 25 years old.</p>
<p>Thank you--I appreciate all your thoughtful posts. I wasn't really trying to sway her (she wouldn't listen to me anyway!) but all of you have put my mind at ease. She is making the right decision for herself and, as several of you point out, there are so many other factors that may be at play here than what is apparent on the surface.</p>