Tought Decision and Need Help!

Hi everyone,
I have been in a dilemma recently. I wished I hadn’t applied, so I know must make a tough decision
I have posted an earlier thread about which school I should pick, but I know have more information

I got accepted to URochester, and here are the pros

  • Excellent financial package, payment plan roughly 3k per year (room/board/tuition)
  • Excellent Academics
    Cons
  • Faraway distance
  • I have to dorm
  • Away from Family
  • I cannot commute
    ___________________________________________________-

Stony Brook
Pros

  • Closer to home
  • Good financial package (5k/year)
  • Excellent Academics
  • Will commute (I prefer staying home)

Cons
-State school
-Most people from school will go there


Is the recognition of URochester for grad school admissions/JOB EMPLOYERS/opportunities worth dorming for, and moving away from home over STONY BROOK?
What are the advantages of choosing URochester over Stony Brook, any new opportunities, reputation etc not available w/STONY?
Any difference in my prospective salary (I will be studying engineering) if I chose one over another

OR
Does it make no difference, and they are on par, and I recieve the same opportunities, and I should stay closer to home (I WILL BE COMMUTING. I LIVE CLOSE TO STONY)

THANK YOU. I AM SO PUZZLED! PLEASE I NEED AS MUCH PEOPLE TO RESPOND TO HELP ME MAKE A DECISION. THE DEADLINE IS APPROACHING!

For engineering, the two schools do not make much of a difference, employment and grad school opportunities are mostly equal. Take Stony, if you feel to commute and it will cost you less.

URochester net price is on par with Stony Brook, if not lower.

Two fine schools. The choice seems simple to me - if you prefer to stay home go to SB, if you want the experience of living in a dorm go to UR. Once you decide never look back.

I personally would choose going away if costs are the same (or in this case, lower).

You grow a lot living away from parents and by living on campus, you can be more involved in school activities and extracurriculars.

To the University of Rochester? Then SBU would seem to be your choice.

Living away from home is a good experience. It’s better to learn how to handle it as an 18 year old than when you also start your first job. It’s a huge advantage to be living in dorms and managing things on your own within the structure of college, with fewer obligations and a lot of support.
That being said, basically all you have against URochester is that you’ll be living away from home. Do you know why it scares you so much? Are you afraid you won’t be able to handle it? Do you have mental health issues or challenges (depression, anxiety, executive functioning…?) Are you very attached to a younger sibling and can’t bear the thought of leaving? Are you already nostalgic for high school and trying to hold on to it? These are the most common reasons and the reply to these would be different depending on the issue .

Rochester in a heartbeat! What a fantastic opportunity for an amazing price. But then, I have always seen the experience of going away to school as a positive one. I loved living among my peers and my daughter seems to feel the same way. Independence! So many new experiences!

Everyone I know who has gone to U Rochester and I know people who attended in the 70’s and '80’s, as well as more recent grads (including the child of a friend who attended) absolutely love the school and greatly enjoyed their experiences. You appear to be in the amazing position of being able to get a private school education and experience for a SUNY price. If you were my child, I would urge you to take the chance of being away from home.

Stony Brook is a great school - my H is a grad and if there were financial constraints, I would tell you to choose SBU over accruing debt, but in your case - go with U Rochester.

@MYOS1634 and @techmom99 and @bobo44 I am willing to dorm, but that’s no longer a problem. It’s not that I have mental health issues, or personal obstacles. However, it’s a new experience that I haven’t been used to. I am still willing to make the sacrifice, but I really intend to ask is that
WILL GOING TO ROCHESTER AND DOING WELL THERE RAISE MORE OPPORTUNITIES VS STONY BROOK, and if I go to Stony Brook, I lose such a fantastic opportunity for an excellent price? For example, do you think that Rochester has better alumni connections for jobs? I have seen most of the notable alumni from Rochester, and I was impressed by the people who have gone to prestigious institutions for post grad research, won NOBEL prizes in science, and distinguished themselves in higher academia in top-notch institutions. I really hope to go to Stanford or a top notch institution for GRAD school, so will doing well there (they have an open curriculum) , and having a strong transcript from there for my major get me into top grad schools? I feel like if I chose Stony Brook, I will be missing a fantastic opportunity to increase my potential, and go up the education ladder, obviously given that I do very well. Any IDEAS? ANYONE?

URochester is an elite private university. SB is a very good public university. Surely you understand there’s a difference in how much money they have, resources to spend on students, stipends for summer research, grant writing help, networks their professors can loop you into, etc…

They’re both excellent schools. They both have more opportunities on offer than any one student can take advantage of. Most likely, the differences in outcome will be more about what you put into it than about either school putting any limits on your potential.

If you go to Rochester because you feel like you should - and end up having a negative attitude about the inevitable stresses of adjusting to life on campus in a new place - there is a risk that your own mindset will cancel out any built-in advantage that Rochester provides. You need to ask yourself whether you can commit wholeheartedly to the experience and thrive in that setting, such that you can take advantage of the opportunities, or whether the energy you might have put into pursuing your passions will instead be re-channeled into coping with a situation you’re ambivalent about.

Conversely, if you commute to SB, there’s the risk that not being forced to immerse yourself in the college experience 24/7 will tip your choices toward spending time at home rather than making the effort to maximize the time you spend on campus and get the absolute most out of it that you can.

Imagine the range of scenarios for each - which certainly overlap in terms of quality of outcome - and try to be clear-eyed about how you are likely to perform in each situation. You know yourself better than anyone here possibly could. SB is less “elite” than Rochester, but it’s not in a whole different universe of reputation. Go where can thrive.

That said… if you give Rochester a chance and end up deciding that it’s not right for you, there will almost certainly be the option to transfer back to Stony Brook as long as you keep your grades up at URoch. It is much less of a sure bet that you would have a second chance at URoch that would be as financially advantageous as the one on offer right now. And the differences in things like class size will be most stark in the first year. So a reasonable argument could be made to give Rochester a chance, and embrace the growth experience of going away to college for at least the first year or two, knowing that home and SB will be there if the Rochester experience doesn’t win you over after you’ve truly given it a fair chance. (BUT, if you decide on UR based on this rationale, do not allow yourself to debate the transfer possibility constantly in your mind, or worse yet bring it up it constantly with your friends. Determine when the decision point(s) would be, table it until that time, and commit fully to the experience in the meantime.) Once you’ve had the chance to get out of your comfort zone, and reinvent yourself among people who didn’t know you in high school, you will surely know whether going back to the more familiar setting of home and SB is something you want, or something you’ve outgrown.

BUT, if you decide that this isn’t the way in which you want to stretch yourself, go to Stony Brook and make a conscious effort to choose other ways to stretch and challenge yourself. Make the extra effort to put yourself on radar with your professors and get involved in research. Be proactive about making study abroad plans, for example, or utilize the National Student Exchange www.nse.org , in which SB participates, to plan a domestic exchange semester in another part of the country. There’s no wrong decision here, as long as you make the most of whichever path you choose.

@aquapt @MYOS1634 @techmom99 @bobo44 @happy1 @artloversplus @merc81 @PurpleTitan

Thank you guys for your wonderful input. I just wanted to share some news.
I have finally committed to URochester yesterday! I visited over spring break, and I can see myself there. Proud member of Class of 2023 :)))

Congratulations!

@txstella Thank you!

Congratulations!!!

@MYOS1634 Thank you!

@Puzzeled101: Congratulations! Wishing you the absolute best of luck at the University of Rochester!

@merc81 Thank you!

Congratulations! You are so lucky to have this opportunity and i am sure you will shine! Take a deep breath…