<p>Hi I was looking for somewhere to post and I think ths may be the best spot. I am a theater teacher, and both of my children are somewhere in the biz. The eldest" 20" is a recent NYU grad and is doing an off broadway show. the youngest a senior in HS who hopes to become a major in Sound recording. Yesterday, A friend of both of theirs was killed in an accident. She was 19 and a student at NYU. She was Working at a well known theaTER ARTS SUMMER CAMP.wow it really sucks losing a talented amazing child. I only know her MOm because our kids went to the same camp, but I don't know how I could begin to deal with someting like this. Thanks for letting me vent....</p>
<p>I'm so sorry to hear that! What devastating news. Every parent's worst fear. You can't imagine what it's like, and hopefully you never will. No one knows why these things happen. I know in time your pain will fade, as well as your children's, but they will need a lot of time.</p>
<p>camge, I noticed that you don't have PMs enabled nor do you have an email address available, so I have to post this request here. Would you mind emailing me the details of the horrible news you posted? The reason I ask is that my D is out of the country, and if, as I fear, this is someone she knows from Tisch, I know she will not have heard. You can either PM me or send me an email through my profile. Thank you.</p>
<p>OMG. How terrible! All our hearts go out ...</p>
<p>Camge, that is an unthinkable tragedy and my heart goes out to the family. It is a terrible loss for them, as well as her potential unrealized. Absolutely tragic. I am very sorry for you all. </p>
<p>I wish I did not ever hear of such loss. It is painful even when I do not know the child! I have to say it is even more heartwrenching for me to read this right now because before I got online, I was thinking about my own daughter who was in a very terrible car accident almost four months ago, the kind one often would die in. I always wonder why we were lucky to have her live when so many others in this sort of situation do not make it. I recall while she was in the hospital, so very injured, that I read of another senior in high school (like she was) in our region, in a similarly terrible car wreck and the girl did not make it. I cried, and I did not even know who she was. Why I ask do some have this happen and some get a second chance? We will never know. This was truly on my mind before I read your post. I was just watching a DVD of my D performing in a cabaret last summer, dancing away. You never know if it all could end. And then when she was lying in traction, in utter pain throughout her body awaiting surgery one day, she asked to watch a DVD of this cabaret she was in (the same one I just watched a few minutes ago) as it made her happy to think of her favorite thing....performing (particularly in this troupe as she had for seven summers at this particular theater camp)...and I recall as I watched it in her hospital room, a kid who could not move, and wondering will she ever dance again like on that video? I never knew for sure. And now it is four months later and she is going to be in that very show this weekend and I am in awe to see her do this again. Here I am thanking my lucky stars she will be back at it amazingly. A miracle. And then I opened your post and tragedy struck another young performer but this young woman is not getting another chance. Nobody can imagine that devastation to that family. I know my kid came close and she really will look at every performance differently from now on, as will I when I watch it. </p>
<p>Please cherish every moment. You just never know. Much love.
Susan</p>
<p>camge,
The "smallness" of this world is hitting me like a ton of bricks right now. I spoke with my D last night and she told me that her roomate at the summer theatre she is working at ( who is 20 ) had a friend from NYU die in a terrible car accident. She had known this girl for years from attending the same summer program and being in shows together. I can't help but think this might be the same individual of whom you speak. A grotesque and unwanted coincidence.......my heart is aching for the family and friends of this young person lost in such an unthinkable way.</p>
<p>Whenever our lives are touched by tragedies such as these, no matter how distant the connection, the questions are endless and often have no answers.</p>
<p>There is an expression in Yiddish that roughly translates to "The deeper the sorrow, the less the tongue." ............................................................</p>
<p>We learned this week about the tragic death of the CAP 21 student. She was in dance group with my daughter and I am aching for her family. I was gladdened, though, that one of the dance instructors from CAP called my daughter to tell her the sad news.</p>
<p>I chose to give this topic its own thread as it wasn't truly related to the thread it was on. As students and parents of musical theater aspirants, we all mourn this terrible loss.
CollegeMom</p>
<p>My mother just called me from Philadephia as she was reading an article in the paper down there about this girl and it struck a cord with my mother because one, apparently the girl went to French Woods Festival (theater camp) for years and was now a counselor there and my 18 1/2 year old daughter also went there for four years (I will have to ask her if they knew one another), plus of course the girl went to CAP21 where my 16 year old is headed in the fall, and then obviously a teenager in a serious car accident strikes our own fears/experiences having just gone through this horrible ordeal with our teen this spring. </p>
<p>They must be reaeling at FWF now. I can't imagine. </p>
<p>Camge, did not realize your son had gone there, and who knows, I may have seen him in shows as I saw so many there over the years. The MT world is very small. I likely saw this girl perform as well. My older D would be able to tell me who it was from certain shows, as it was a while ago. </p>
<p>I know another girl in CAP from that same high school that this girl went to (but the girl I know went to my younger D's theater camp, Stagedoor Manor). </p>
<p>This touches us all. So very sad.
Susan</p>
<p>This is so sad. I want to express my sympathy to all involved. Frankly, there is nothing worse than losing a child. I wish the best to the family.</p>
<p>vocaldad</p>
<p>There is no worse news. Makes everything else so trivial, doesn't it? I wish to send my sympathies and prayers to all involved.</p>
<p>The last few days I've opened the paper and can't help but notice the beautiful young faces in the obituaries. I know I may be more aware of them, especially now that my own son died last year in a crash at age 20, but I can't help but feel that somehow people are still not aware of the dangers of drinking and driving. Is it just me or are there more than usual car fatalities of our youth? I'm not presuming that alcohol was involved with the tragic accident of the CAP 21 student, but I have a feeling that it may be a factor in a majority of the recent notices, as it was also a factor in my son's death. There are so many more cars on the roads today, and we all know how fast paced our lives are, especially with kids as busy as ours. Young drivers especially need all of their wits about them to navigate the dangers that abound on the highways.
I am going to do a little personal crusading here, and plead with all of the young people out there who read these postings to PLEASE do whatever it takes to take the keys away from someone that you think may decide to drive impaired. Don't ever assume that because they have done it before, that they will be all right. Call the police if you need to, tackle them, lock them in a room, hide their keys, whatever it takes. Believe me when I tell you that the end will justify the means. Your best friend will be there to thank you when the smoke clears, and believe me, if his family finds out what you've done for your friend, they will thank you too.
My heart goes out to the family of that beautiful talented young person, who went long before it was her time.
Eileen</p>
<p>Dearest Eileen,</p>
<p>As the mother of a 21 year old boy and a 19 year old girl, my heart broke when I read your post.......</p>
<p>Ever since my children were in a position to either drive or be driven with or by their peers, I NEVER let them out the door without checking on who is driving and reminding them that they must never, under any circumstances, drive while impaired or allow anyone to drive them who has been drinking. This is obviously only possible when they are home. Part of the reason I am so relentless is that they do tell me they hear my voice in their heads when they are away at school or anywhere for that matter. They always say "Mom, you ALWAYS say that - don't you think we know that by now. We're not stupid!" Nonetheless, I continue to hammer home this point. I find now that the issue becomes "defining" the meaning of IMPAIRED. My son is tall, quite strong and very fit and insists that if he has one or two beers over the course of an evening (say 4 hours) that he is NOT impaired....It is a very difficult subject, but they know if there is any question at all, I will always pay for a cab or, if they are home, no matter the time of night, I will come get them, no questions asked. Both my kids say that it is always clear that someone in their group must be a designated driver. </p>
<p>Now here's the big question....Do I believe them? I want to and in all honesty, given the kind of relationship we have, I think they are telling me
the truth - 99% of the time. It's the 1% that keeps me awake sometimes. It's also the memories of my own adventures in young adulthood........</p>
<p>We can't be too vigilant or too obnoxious in stressing this point to our children. I am so sorry for your family's loss and thank you so much for being willing to share your story so that others may be able to learn from it. It takes enormous courage to do so.</p>
<p>Melsmom,
I had no idea you had lost your young son in a car accident and I just want to let you know how sorry I feel at your terrible loss of your beloved boy. It is a tragedy how it happened. You of all people are one to warn other youngsters about the risks of drinking and driving. I don't know if alcohol played a factor in the accident being discussed here and I know it did not in my own child's recent car crash. In my child's crash, I am sure that inexperience as a driver played a factor and so I can only imagine if you mix alcohol and young drivers with less experience, that it is a mixture looking for trouble. </p>
<p>My thoughts are with you and your family. I know you will now make a difference in other young people's lives.
Susan</p>
<p>Eileen,
You bring a heartbreaking and alarming reminder of this always possible and pervasive part of parenting. Our children are becoming young adults making their own decisions about countless crucial issues, but the use ( and abuse ) of alcohol remains one the biggest. We live in a university town, and just about every weekend are spectators to the unfortunate results of binge drinking and the various irresponsible behavior that accompanies that. My own D has reported having to "take care of" friends who had overindulged and were extremely vulnerable due to it. This has involved being vocal about not allowing that individual to go off alone, in a car or by foot. Viewing the distasteful behavioral results of alcohol abuse has pretty much turned her off to using it in excess. She talks openly about alcohol being a part of social situations ( and yes, all involved are NOT 21 ), and I can only hope and pray that my consistent voice ( like Theatermoms ) will remain in her ear. We all hope that the "parent messages" we give evolve to ones that truly come from within that independent and capable young adult. The journey and experimentation that comes with the territory of growing up can be so uncertain and unpredictable. I truly appreciate your compassion and strength to share your words with all of us.</p>
<p>Eileen
You have gone through the worst experience possible to a parent, a tragedy and loss all parents worry about happening in their own lives. My heart breaks for you and for what you and your family have gone through. Your post mentions that you might be noticing a lot of unnecessary young deaths in the newspapers because of your heightened awareness. I want you to know that youre not alone in noticing this phenomenon. While there were some tragic accidents affecting people I knew when I was a teen, they werent so numerous as todayand I think my generation was perhaps more careless than todays generation. But our roads are more crowded, and there is less room for error on the road. When alcohol is added to the mix of overcrowded roads, overstressed drivers, and the distractions of cell phones, CD players, and fast food, the danger level rises dramatically. I hope some teens will read your post and hear your words. I will print it out for my kids.</p>
<p>Your help to your daughter in her college search for next fall is more amazing in the face of all youve been through this past year. I wish you both well with the process. I dont know if my D will be auditioning at any of the same schools, but if she does, I hope we get to meet. I hope shes doing well with SAT prep this summer, too!</p>
<p>Melsmom...I understand your dismay...it DOES seem there are more and more fatal automobile accidents in the news these days. I know there are where we live....a young man in our neighborhood died just before graduation (non-alcohol related...and he was not at fault either). My D lost a good friend to a traffic accident two years ago. It was devastating to my daughter...and all her friends. (The young girl had only had her license for days when the accident occurred. The accident was not alcohol related.) Watching my D go through the pain of the loss makes my heart go out to you. I can only imagine how difficult the loss is for you. </p>
<p>I'm like Theatermom..always telling my girls to practice safe driving...and safe passenger practices too. Seatbelts! Seatbelts! And certainly no speeding or drinking and driving. They know how dangerous cars can be. They have felt the pain that you know, Melsmom. Thanks for being a crusader. We all need to hear it over and over again. I'm sorry for your loss. Truly sorry.</p>
<p>Eileen,</p>
<p>I am so very sorry about the loss of your son! My daughter's good friend lost his brother (age 9) a few years ago and the mom was terribly injured also due to the hands of a drunk driver... It breaks my heart. We also lost an 18 year old boy in our neighborhood right before graduation a couple of months ago. He was one of a set of triplets who was on his was home from volunteering at a soup kitchen before school (honest to goodness)! The roads were slick...no alcohol involved. </p>
<p>It's scary out there! It's not just the alcohol, though. We give children licenses at young ages and we give them cell phones for safety and they are chatting and driving. Certainly not paying full attention. All it takes is the dialing of a number on the cell phone, reaching down to grab for it, changing a cd...all of which takes their focus of the road. We as parents didn't have that added distraction when learning to drive. My daughter is not allowed to talk on the cell phone while driving. (I know some states like NJ have made it illegal but it is not here and it probably should be). Does she always abide by that? I don't know. The best we can do is teach and inform them the best we can. Thank you Eileen for your story....I hope all of our little posts sink in with a few of the kids out there.</p>
<p>Kathie (Kaysmom)</p>
<p>So sorry to hear of everybody's losses. Please know my family's thoughts and prayers are with everybody at this time.</p>