My kid was born female but identifies as male. He’s a high school junior. We haven’t begun the medical or legal transition yet.
When we started the college search he ruled out women’s colleges from the get go. He has enough conflict with his birth gender without having to contend with being isolated from other guys. I could respect that, I thought.
But as time goes on, I see more and more women’s colleges that I think would be great fits academically and socially.
I was wondering, for any women currently attending a women’s college reading this, do you know any trans guys on campus and can you tell me if they find their experience on a women’s campus restricting?
My D is at Scripps and I know there is a trans guy there. He is an RA and was very helpful when we had an issue moving my D into her room. I was curious as to why a trans guy would want to go to a women’s college. My D did not think it was a big deal at all and said that Scripps is very open and and accepting to all.
Since Scripps is in a consortium with 4 other colleges, your S would still have lots of interactions with other guys.
You said “he ruled out women’s colleges from the get go” and doesn’t want to be “isolated from other guys.” Only YOU are interested in a women’s college. This is your child’s college experience, not yours. Listen to your child’s already stated preferences when choosing a college. There is no way that a women’s college is a “great fit academically and socially” if your child wants to socialize with guys during college and not just girls. The social fit is totally lacking. There are tons of coed colleges and universities out there that truly could be an academic and social fit, but the only way to find them is to listen to and respect what your child wants and doesn’t want. Step 1: eliminate women’s colleges from the list.
Yeah, that’s the issue - my trans kid doesn’t want to go to a women’s college, and I worry that that is dropping a number of very good colleges that are otherwise matches off of the list. But it’s my kid’s life, not mine, so I shouldn’t be trying to choose a school for him. Which doesn’t stop me about obsessing over it when he’s not looking.
I have a trans son also, but he’s a freshman in high school. It takes time to move past some things that might have been your dreams for him in the past. I don’t think a women’s college would be a good fit socially for a man, and there are a lot of colleges out there.
My D didn’t want to go to a women’s college so I let that idea go although some would have been excellent academic fits. I’d suggest your do the same. There are tons of wonderful co-ed colleges out there. Let him lead the way.
I also think that if he wants to be taken seriously as identifying as male, it would be a little hypocritical to enroll in a woman’s college…now, if he identified as non-gendered or undecided, there might be a case for it. I think your child is making more sense about this than you are… I would think that males just don’t go to women’s colleges no matter how excellent they are.
If he is not interested in women's colleges, respect his wishes. There are not that many women's colleges anyway, and it is likely that there are many coed colleges that are good or acceptable fits for him (at least if constraints like finances are not too limiting).
Maybe look into Mt Holyoke, but the majority of women’s colleges would only accept him if he identified as female at the time of application. From what I understand, identifying as male after he’s already a student would be okay but not applying in.
I think a co-ed school would be a better option, however.
There are so many good colleges that dropping all the women only schools won’t limit opportunities or academic advancement. I mean guys don’t have the opportunity to apply to women’s school anyways, and it’s not a big deal for 50% of the population.
I’ll be going to a women’s college next year, and on the Common Application, I was required to check that I am female-identifying and will be female-identifying throughout my time there. If your child was born male but identified as female, she would be able to verify that she identified as female. Your son would most likely feel very alienated at a women’s college.
I know that Wellesley only takes students who identify as female, so that would rule it out. Other women’s colleges may have the same policies. But I would not push my kid to apply anywhere he doesn’t want to apply.
Women’s colleges are for women. If your child does not see themselves as a women and does not want others to see them as a woman, then why would they apply to a women’s college? Mount Holyoke is very accepting place. The entire four years is decidedly focused towards providing women a top tier education. Your offspring (I won’t use “trans boy” as I feel the term is demeaning) should look elsewhere.
As a poster above said, women’s colleges are for women. If you child identifies as male, then he should not apply to women’s colleges. It is really quite simple.
Yeah, it’s not going to happen. There is no need for you all to keep piling on. I am wistful that these places are taken off of the board, but I’ve made my peace with it.
It’s probably just a combination of continuing adjustment and typical college process stresses @ninakatarina
Since my d19’s major doesn’t tend to be available at small colleges or LACs, we don’t get to consider quite a lot of incredible sounding colleges. Add to that financial constraints that would make many of them not feasible, there go some more. It sometimes makes me wish they would work anyway, when I see some great descriptions of these awesome places. But, we have to cut down some options anyway, so trying to make a square peg fit into a round hole when there are plenty of square holes just doesn’t make sense for us.
@ninakatarina not piling on. You asked a question and received replies. We’re you expecting something different? Women’s colleges are in business of educating women.