Transfer after leave of absence for anxiety

Parents Forum
1

<p>I debated posting this in Transfers or Learning Differences and Challenges but decided I need the collective wisdom of CC parents to help with this set of challenges. Sorry this is long but it's a complicated set of issues.</p>

<p>S1 will be 21 in March. He is very intelligent but also has ADHD, generalized anxiety disorder and borderline Asperger Syndrome. After a tough sophomore year, he spent the last 2 years of high school in a small alternative school for nontraditional students, and then was admitted to a good program in video game design in a university know for its career orientation, located in a major northeastern city. He took a gap year before attending because he needed some time to mature. HS GPA was 3.55 (3.7 for all but sophomore year when it was 3.3) and SAT was 2190 (including 800 on math first sitting).</p>

<p>Last year was his freshman year. He struggled with anxiety but did make a couple of friends in a gaming club, and did manage to connect enough with kids to find suitemates for this year. However, he mostly spent spare time playing video games in his room, never once met in person with his advisor or with profs, and didn't follow through on joining some clubs he was interested in. He briefly went to counseling but stopped because "we ran out of things to talk about." Academically he started with a bang, but struggled later in the year due to disorganization. First trimester gpa was 3.88, 2nd trimester 3.31, and third 2.79 due to a D in English (he stopped checking emails finals week and didn't realize the deadline had passed on the final essay) and a C+ in one of the courses for his major. Cumulative GPA for the year is 3.35.</p>

<p>This year he started sophomore year but almost immediately experienced severe anxiety and was unable to function--after a few weeks of trying different medications, he ended up taking a medical leave of absence. He was able to withdraw from all classes with no grades for this year. He's been home since then, on new meds and participating in an intensive 5 day a week 12 week program to learn manage his anxiety. After a month he is making progress but is certainly not back to full functioning. The program will finish in mid January. </p>

<p>He has decided he is unhappy with his current college and major and, barring some major change of heart, doesn't want to return. He is still sorting out what he wants to study and is going to work with a career counselor, but might be looking into fine arts or something else working with his hands. He would really like to go back to college, this time a non-urban liberal arts college. </p>

<p>So here is where we need advice--</p>

<p>Obviously he is not set up to transfer for this spring, but would like to start at a new school next fall, which means getting applications in by March. But I suspect that colleges will want to see evidence of academic success in order to admit him. One option would be to take community college classes in the spring, but none of the classes would be completed by the time he needs to apply. Another would be to take online courses, either through his current university or another. He could spend longer at community college but would be MUCH happier going away to school, and if he attends past sophomore year will probably have to repeat credits since most schools want students to attend for minimum 2 years.</p>

<p>He is not your average transfer student (!!) I think we likely will need to work with a college consultant, but probably a specialized one--any recommendations or advice on how to find one?</p>

<p>How to manage the whole disclosure thing. I know that people generally avoid discussing mental illness but I 'm not sure how we avoid it...</p>

<p>I would also love advice on schools to consider. We are in the northeast and he'd like to stay within driving distance. We are looking for socially liberal, LGBT friendly schools with a geek population and good disability support. He is not interested in "disability" schools like Landmark or Curry. Schools currently on our radar are</p>

<p>Sarah Lawrence
Bard
Skidmore
Brandeis
Hampshire (likely not structured enough)
Goucher
Muhlenberg?
Ithaca</p>

<p>Anyway, thanks so much for reading...I'm a new poster so can't message anyone unless they do it first.</p>

2

<p>Bennington, Marlboro, Clark, Emerson?</p>

<p>Has he considered an alternative to college for awhile. National Outdoor Leadership School (wilderness training)?
Or North Bennett Street School (woodworking,cabinet-making, piano repair etc.; they have a short term woodworking course of 3 months that is excellent)? Service of some kind? Etc.</p>

<p>Was he registered with the disabilities office at the college where he was enrolled?</p>

3

<p>@compmom, thanks so much for the suggestions. I had not heard of North Bennett Street School, and their 3 month woodworking course might be a really good option.</p>

<p>Yes he was registered with the disabilities office. And saw counselling services multiple times before he went on leave. And after he withdrew I discovered there is a office of retention through the Provosts’ office that will work with struggling students. But no one in counselling or disability ever saw fit to tell him or us about that…(don’t get me started!)</p>

4

<p>2eMomof2 I suggest you visit Muhlenberg over winter break. Meet with as many of the folks there that you can, they should have some time over break… admissions, disabilities office, counseling, and see what you think. I don’t know what levels you need them to be involved but I have found them to be very honest and earnest. Best of luck to you! </p>

5

<p>First, hugs to you! Second, been there to an extent! DS took medical leaves each of the last two years for depression and anxiety. He was in counseling but hid the extent of his inability to function from us. He was unable to attend some classes and “froze” during exams - in neither year did professors or anyone else reach out to him despite his being in a very small LAC. Don’t get me started on that!
So…last January and home once again we started looking into transferring. Obviously, his transcript was not strong although his grades/tests from high school were. To stay busy, DS took some online courses, ones in which he could receive a certificate and thus show to schools and that was helpful. He is now finishing his first semester in a large state school - surprisingly, he is given more attention there and there is more care for students than his small private LAC. While the school itself is big, his particular department is small.<br>
Has not been an easy journey and will continue to have its challenges, but there is hope just as there is for your son. Summer school courses, community college can all keep him going and can help with transfer credits which does become an issue, especially with a change in major. Certainly be prepared for an extended graduation date; it will take my kiddo 5 additional semester to complete his degree requirements despite coming in with many credits and two years of summer school. All best!</p>

6

<p>Thanks, folks. @siemom, could you give me more details on the online courses that he took? He could start on something like that now, if it was one course at a time.</p>

7

<p>He took online courses through Coursera. It’s a massive aggregator of courses from some of the top universities in the world. I just encouraged him to choose the ones that resulted in a certificate so there was proof the work was done.</p>

8

<p>Thanks–I’ll get S1 to look into that.</p>

9

<p>Many LACs have lots of distribution requirements and are writing intensive which can be difficult for
individuals with ADHD. For example Bard requires one course in 9 different areas. <a href=“http://www.bard.edu/undergraduate/curriculum/requirements/”>http://www.bard.edu/undergraduate/curriculum/requirements/&lt;/a&gt;
If taking classes in fields that he is not interested in is a problem, I would rethink
LACs as the answer unless it’s one of the rare ones with an open curriculum.<br>
Also there may be a few geeks at these LACs but
probably not many at BARD, Sarah Lawrence, IC from what I know. Can’t speak for the others.</p>

<p>Best wishes.</p>

10

<p>I would not recommend Coursera. Thousands take the classes and the courses are sometimes chaotic. There are online courses at many colleges and universities that are open to students who are not matriculated. Try a state university or college. They can be taken one at a time and your son can get full credit that can be transferred.</p>

11

<p>@2eMomof2‌ – I sent you a pm.</p>

12

<p>@compmom, any particular university you are aware of? @lonestarmom, thanks–will reply!</p>

13

<p>I’ll PM you.</p>

14

<p>Thanks to everyone with your useful comments, support on and offline, and encouragement. This community is wonderful!</p>

15

<p>In the big world of CC threads… this kind of thing happens a lot (inc in our family). Most families get through it. Are finances a concern? That can be a big factor for transfer students. </p>

16

<p>Finances are not a concern (although it hurts having a kid leave a school where they had a full tuition scholarship AND the timing of this means that I will have 2 in college simultaneously for at least 3 years :frowning: ) But yes we can swing it.</p>

17

<p>Hi 2eMom…one other issue I was thinking about in terms of applying as a transfer after a leave is that of recommendation letters. My kiddo did not feel that he would get supportive letters from anyone and thus he limited his search to those schools that did not require letters of rec. I don’t know if your son is in the same boat (hope he is not!), but do know that there are schools that don’t need letters while the “more selective” ones definitely do.
It was also time consuming to track down all his old scores and transcripts - all of which had to be sent directly from the sources. With passwords long forgotten or misplaced, lots of time to get everything going again. As I said, it all worked out, but those are some more of the issues that were troublesome along the way.</p>

<p>Please keep us posted!</p>

18

<p>@siemom, you bring up some important points. </p>

<p>I think S1 did have some good relationships with profs in his major, but many of them are adjuncts rather than full time faculty members (who are full time design professionals the rest of the time), so tracking them down may be a challenge. I think he will need to reach out to his adviser.</p>

<p>The HS where he spent junior and senior years is a small private school and it was a nightmare getting transcripts sent out when he was there full time–For one college I think they had to send the transcript 5 times before it went through correctly. No naviance! And does he remember his password for the college board??</p>

<p>Thanks for pointing these out. I am very aware that he needs to get on the ball. I am also aware that he is still battling anxiety and in 5 day a week therapy. I would LOVE to be able to do the “the ball is in your court, now handle it!” thing–but realistically he will need support and some nudging to get this done. He has 9 months to get healthy enough to be at college, but under 3 to get all of this done plus come up with a coherent plan of how he is spending the rest of the year! </p>

19

<p>Looking through some of the sites, I’m also concerned about how many credits will transfer–many of them are design credits, and some schools may not think they are “academic” enough. Although if he is considering any kind of art major, maybe they are pertinent?? </p>

20

<p>I want to caution you not to push him into starting school again if he is not ready. This concerns me: “He’s been home since then, on new meds and participating in an intensive 5 day a week 12 week program to learn manage his anxiety. After a month he is making progress but is certainly not back to full functioning. The program will finish in mid January.”</p>

<p>It may take longer than that for him to be up to facing academic pressure again. I have been in your shoes - my son has taken TWO medical leaves of absence. The best advice I have gotten from doctors and parents of ill kids is, “THIS IS NOT A RACE,” and “At your son’s age, you just want to keep the ball in play,” meaning keep him alive long enough to get better. That is blunt but something to bear in mind.</p>

<p>One possibility would be for your son to get a part-time job and save up some money for a semester or two. My son is not to that point yet, but he IS comfortable volunteering at a local food bank once a week. He also goes to equine therapy, which I highly recommend. My son isn’t even an animal person, but working with horses has really helped him a lot.</p>

<p>When your son does go back to school, a part-time schedule might help. My son takes two classes at a time. Three makes him too anxious - there’s too much “juggling” of homework and tests.</p>

<p>I’m just sharing because I wished I’d heeded advice and put less pressure on my high-achieving son to continue at his university when he was first diagnosed with mental illness. It’s really taken me about four years to really “get it” - this illness is HARD on him and he’s not the same person that he was five years ago.</p>