<p>Story in a nutshell. D was a top student and a good swimmer in high school. Plunged into depression during her senior year in HS. Got treatment. D and therapist THOUGHT she would be o.k. Wasnt. First year at top-notch LAC was miserable. Spent lots of time in therapy and sleeping. Managed a B average (mostly because she was well prepared from HS and dropped a class.) Felt disconnected from the LACs swim team (something that previously was a big part of her life and a stress reliever)</p>
<p>D is home now, doing better with more intensive therapy and meds. Has a job that brings her pleasure. Ds tentative plan is to take a semester or two off and heal. She also wants, possibly, to reconsider LACs so that she could have a fresh start emotionally. This is where we get stuck. </p>
<p>Ds LAC is very, very well regarded. Comparable LACs are not likely to line up to offer her admission (given the year she has had). There are a several pretty good LACs that offered her generous merit aid last year. Presumably, these colleges would consider her for a transfer (albeit without the merit aid)?</p>
<p>How does she go about looking at schools for a possible transfer? How honest should she be? There is nothing wrong with her current LAC; it just brings up painful memories. Part of me wants to encourage her to visit her current LAC this fall, just to take a second look at the place and be sure that she wants to transfer. Maybe she could have a fresh start at the same place and maybe she would see the swim team in a new light. Or maybe she should just start over new. Anyone have suggestions or been there?</p>
<p>a new college may be just as stressful as the old one. i've gone through depression, but i wouldn't even think of going to a new high school with people i've never met and a different social life.</p>
<p>How small is the current LAC? Is it possible to get a "fresh start" there by living in a different part of campus, changing majors, and joining a new (perhaps intramural) sport?</p>
<p>It's a little over 2,000 students, so moving to a different dorm could make it feel different. Good suggestion. </p>
<p>The intramural angle is one that we have discussed -- crew or soccer or cross country. She really loves swimming, though. One friend suggested that we look for an in-town master's level swimming program. Perhaps, though, you are on to something--make it feel different.</p>
<p>My gut feeling is to go with how she feels. If it is a very small school, it may be hard to get a fresh start---on the other hand does she have any close friends who might be a source of support and who would still be there when she returns? </p>
<p>Have you posted this in the Parent Cafe?--you might get more responses there and there are many parents on there with some great insights.</p>
<p>I posted in the parent's forum first, but no responses yet. In terms of close friends, I don't think so. My son visited her at college and claimed that she was on friendly terms with many students, but didn't seem to have very close friends.</p>
<p>she definitely needs to go to a bigger school...but not too big(she'll be in the same situation.or an even worse situation)....more like- medium sized.</p>
<p>Momofgrowing, I can see how this whole issue is a challenging one. I'm not sure of all the answers, not at all. And I'm glad you've posted on the Parent Forum, as I think you will get some thoughtful responses there, as well as here.</p>
<p>Couple of things: it won't really happen that the schools ask "why do you want to transfer from such a fine school?" Rather, your D will frame the issue, in the way that best serves her, in her application essays. </p>
<p>I think it might be helpful to put the depression issue on the back burner for a moment. Continue to seek advice on whether she should address that in her transfer apps or not. I'm not sure whether the best advice is to feature it as the reason for her transfer or to leave it out. So, let us assume for the moment that it is unwise to feature it. If she is going to take a semester or two off, a lot could change in that time as to what she seeks in a school. Her reasons for transfer may crystallize along those lines, unrelated to the "painful memories" aspect. Even if not, she can present her reasons for transfer in varying ways.</p>
<p>I would suggest that she ask herself what she is now looking for in a school. If it turns out that she is looking for a near clone of her first LAC, well... that does present a challenge. But that may not be the case. Perhaps she wants something a bit larger; perhaps she wants a different geographic setting (larger/smaller city; closer to/farther from home); perhaps she wants a specific academic program not so strong at her current place. Perhaps the reason for transfer could include that the program in her sport was not a good match. I'm not sure; I just think you and she could start thinking along this vein.</p>
<p>What was her exact GPA? Was it over 3.0 (you mention it was a B) - that is not "so low." </p>
<p>Does she know what major she wants, or is she still exploring?</p>
<p>Momofgrowing, something happened today that I thought I'd pass along. It may or may not apply to your situation, but I thought of you as I was talking to my son.</p>
<p>Son hung in there through 2 years at a school where he wasn't happy--had some medical issues and most probably depression. His gpa was fine, but he felt "dead" as a social person---very unlike him--had always had friends, ect.</p>
<p>Anyway, he finally decided to transfer and seek a completely different environment ---state vs private, large vs medium, college town vs non-college town---only the academic "level" I would say stayed similar plus general geographic area (within an hour or so of each other)</p>
<p>He was going to attend the "old" school for 2nd session summer school in order to finish up a science sequence--he thought it might be better to do it where he had had all the lower level classes. He went back and ended up dropping after 2 days. He said just walking on the campus brought back so many negative feelings that he immediately got tense, had headaches, was irritable, etc---he decided to wait and take this course at his new school later. Maybe he is "over sensitive" or maybe he is working me as he just would rather be at home and working at his job. I don't know, but he sure sounded just like the "old" student on the phone--so I told him to drop it and leave--just not worth backsliding into that funk.</p>
<p>Perhaps your idea of your d. visiting would be good---maybe she would get some "vibes" either good or bad.</p>
<p>I wouldn't worry about explaining anything about her gpa unless it was really low--if it was a B, hey, that's fine. She can word her transfer application to state what she is looking for that her old school wasn't strong in---whether it is less Greek life, more Greek, more involved in community, more intramurals, more diverse population, whatever and wherever her interests lie.</p>
<p>Good luck. It is a hard decision--you want to be able to try it both ways and see what works the best and unfortunately one has to make the decision and hope for the best. (We have our fingers crossed for our son this fall).</p>
<p>I was in a similar situation. I had many reasons to transfer, but in my "Why do you want to transfer to<strong>(insert school here)</strong>_?" essays I spent 80% on the benefits of the new school and only 20% on what was wrong with the old one, or even why the new school was better than the old one. I didn't mention my depression, but instead talked about the things that probably caused the depression (felt lied to about the program, lack of academic focus in classes and also in the students, not challenging enough, etc). Hope that helps!</p>