Transfer? Take a semester off to volunteer? I'm so lost.

Student Lounge College Life
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<p>I also posted this on the Transfer forum, I'm just trying to get as much feedback as possible, I'm not sure if it's allowed to be on two forums but sorry in advance if it's not mods!</p>

<p>Hi everybody - </p>

<p>I haven't been on College Confidential since I was finalizing my college essay, two years ago. Who would have thought I would be asking for more advice now. Anyway, to make a really long story short, as a senior in highschool I applied to only four schools, which was a mistake to begin with - NYU, Northeastern, Maryland, and Penn State. I got into all four, and my decision process went like this (foolishly):</p>

<p>NYU - too expensive. X
Northeastern - in Boston, therefore too cold. X
Penn State - way too big, not academically rigorous enough. X
sooo...decided I'm going to the University of Maryland!</p>

<p>Having finished my freshman year at the University of Maryland, I can honestly say I have experienced the worst year of my life. I had roommate troubles from the beginning (she threw up on herself in her sleep the first week of school, left her soiled shirt in the laundry for a week... went to the hospital with a .34 BAC... brought back three guys within the first two weeks of school.. general unconcern for anybody else's feelings but her own) and things ended really poorly with her, thankfully she moved out of the room though. The semester didn't get much better from there - while I like to party, drink as much as any other 19-year-old, smoke occasionally (just being honest here), the party atmosphere at Maryland absolutely overwhelmed me. Although I was in the Scholars program there, and lived with other Scholars, there was an unbelievable pressure to go out five nights a week. I was shocked, and kind of disgusted - I know that there is pressure to party at EVERY single big state school, but I thought that Maryland really valued academics over partying, and through experience I've learned that's not the case.</p>

<p>in advance everybody - I'm REALLY sorry that this post is long I just have a lot of background information to explain, thanks for taking the time out to read it.</p>

<p>Anyways, I had major issues with being homesick and missing my best friends from home. I also had basically been in a relationship all summer that ended abruptly, and he ended up having the time of his life at college. First semester was miserable - I would cry on the phone to my parents weekly, which is SO beyond unlike me. I never cry, yet college turned me into a weepy baby. I joined clubs, got super involved in school, from volunteering at Maryland's crisis hotline, to the Supply Chain Management society, to organizing events for my Scholars program. Yet, I truly fell into a depression and couldn't find happiness. </p>

<p>I literally counted down the days til Winter Break. The anxiety I developed that semester still hasn't left me..</p>

<p>My parents told me to wait it out another semester before applying to transfer, so I did. I tried rushing a sorority in the Spring, which ended up not working out. This devastated me, as it was just another thing to add to my list. I developed actual anxiety second semester about being at Maryland, and contemplated going on some sort of anti-anxiety medication, but in the end just decided to stick it out for the rest of the semester. Unfortunately, there was no light at the end of the tunnel for second semester. It was just as miserable and depressing for me as first semester. I started having over-the-phone appointments with my Mom's therapist, which helped. At the end of the semester, again, I literally counted down the days until I could go home.</p>

<p>** I just want to note that positive things DID happen to me at UMD - I was accepted to the Clinton Global Initiative for a program some of my friends and I started regarding spreading basic nutrition information to underprivileged children in the DC/Maryland area. I excelled in my classes second semester. Throughout all of this, I have developed AMAZING friendships with people that I know will last a lifetime, no matter where I end up. Volunteering at the crisis hotline was incredibly rewarding in so many ways.</p>

<p>Despite these positives, I hate my school. Being just an ID number at such a HUMONGOUS school is almost traumatic for me. I truly feel like I belong at a better, private school, where the type of college student that goes there is a) more goal/academically driven and b) not your average "in-stater" (although I have absolutely nothing against people from Maryland at UMD - some of my best friends are, although there is a huge crowd whose sole goal is to drink. simply put) Anytime my parents bring up the fact that I am supposed to go back to Maryland in the Fall, I burst into hysterics - it's something that I literally cannot control. I absolutely dread the fact that I will have to return to a place that has caused me so much misery and depression.</p>

<p>This is where I come to a crossroads - why should I go back to a school like this? Maryland obviously is not the school for me - but I didn't apply to transfer for the Fall 2010 semester... so what do I do? I know it's late in the game to be deciding this, but here are some of my stats/options... I am open to absolutely ANY advice.</p>

<p>-I don't know if it matters, but my highschool GPA was a 3.9, 1340/2050 SATs, super involved - 500+ volunteer hours, killer essay, etc.</p>

<p>Maryland Stats:</p>

<p>International Business Major at the Smith Business School
first semester GPA - 3.26 (I feel like in an essay, I could absolutely articulate the extent that I suffered emotionally first semester to explain why my GPA was so low)
second semester GPA - 3.93</p>

<p>cumulative GPA - 3.57</p>

<p>-in-training to be a counselor at Help Center (suicide prevention hotline)
-Global Business Society
-Supply Chain Management Society
-attended the Clinton Global Initiative in Miami in April to present my group's nutrition education program</p>

<p>.........</p>

<p>The logical part of me says to suck it up and go back to school for the semester.
The other part of me says that there is no way I can survive another semester there.</p>

<p>As far as alternative options to going back to Maryland this coming semester, I was thinking : volunteering abroad (teaching English somewhere), doing some other volunteer opportunity, backpacking?, trying to get an internship in NYC, getting a job for the semester as I get transfer stuff together.</p>

<p>So, my question is, WHAT DO I DO? Will taking a semester off reflect poorly on an application? Should I go abroad and "find myself"? I really feel like I've lost some of myself in college and need to do something like that.</p>

<p>I'm thinking about applying to schools like University of Miami, Northeastern, NYU, Cornell, Babson, I'm really not sure though.</p>

<p>Please, I'm begging you guys, give me some advice/direction. Thank you so incredibly much.</p>

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<p>It seems to me like you’re allowing yourself to get caught up in the mess of all the partying and such. Peer presure, what fun, ne? Ignore it, if you don’t wanna go, don’t.</p>

<p>Homesickness. Well… i really don’t have much to say for that, join a club perhaps. I was homesick at first, and then i started to really enjoy the classes and do better. </p>

<p>Alrighty then down to busness:</p>

<p>The reason you hate your school isn’t really a good one imo. All colleges number, yes, number their students, to keep track of things. Privates don’t motivate anymore then instate or what have you schools do. </p>

<p>I really hate to be blunt, however but what is your REAL problem with the school? Is it the fact that you let yourself get caught up in all that mess then truning it around and blaming it on the school? Or was it that your expectations were to damn high to begin with for what you wanted to do your first year?</p>

<p><em>gets off of soapbox</em></p>

<p>anyway, the schools your looking at to transfer are big as well. Are you sure you’re going to do well there?</p>

<p>My seggestion is:</p>

<p>Keep with your college that you are at now. Request a single <em>if possible</em> dorm on a floor where acedimics are the main concern (nursing floors normally are suited for this). Continue with the clubs, get into classes that you would really enjoy.</p>

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<p>HighLife - I feel like that response is truly unjustified - unhappiness is unhappiness, anxiety is anxiety, it’s all relative. I know I’m not dealing with a life-or-death situation here, but I didn’t post something like that looking for a response like the one you gave…</p>

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<p>icedragon - the thing is, I truly LIKE “partying” - when I’m happy, that is… I have no inspiration to get ready and go out with friends when I’m completely unhappy with the school I’m at.</p>

<p>I’ve truly gotten over my homesickness - it’s not a matter of wanting to be <em>home</em> it’s a matter of not wanting to be at <em>Maryland</em></p>

<p>I know its difficult to understand because I haven’t literally listed my complaints with school, but I have this overwhelming feeling that it’s not for me and that I need to go do something else. I feel like I need to “recharge” myself, it’s literally sucked the life out of me.</p>

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<p>“I absolutely dread the fact that I will have to return to a place that has caused me so much misery and depression.”</p>

<p>Doesn’t sound like the place caused your misery and depression… But your reaction to your feeling is real and no one should repeat something that they feel is likely to cause them more misery and depression without a very good reason, and “sticking it out” isn’t a good enough reason… Life is too short…</p>

<p>This is about you and your decisions - so stop blaming the school and other students or you may repeat the process and find yourself unhappy over and over again…</p>

<p>As far as - What to do, "Should I go abroad and “find myself”? - I don’t think most people would recommend anyone with recent misery and depression should go far away from family, friends, and support. Otherwise do whatever floats your boat…</p>

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<p>lol, kinda sounds like me. For what it’s worth I’m gonna try and tough it out for another year or two and then transfer. Although I’m tempted to just go to community college and then transfer. Except then my parents would disown me (they think I’m ‘too good’ for community college) so I’d have to move out. And since you can’t afford to live in this area on the wage I earn, I’d have to move to another state and live there for a year so I can get in-state status for its universities.</p>

<p>gotta love life!</p>

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<p>^Not sure how strict each university’s policy is, gaining instate status for staying there for 1 yr is very tough, possibly impossible.</p>

<p>At any rate, you should definitely leave UMD, and transfer.</p>

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<p>Interesting. Before I transferred to Columbia, I considered going to UMD.
This thread makes me glad I didn’t. </p>

<p>Anyway, to the advice–you might be cutting it close to transfer or go abroad. Most application deadlines are approaching rapidly, so you should make your decision ASAP. </p>

<p>luckily, There’s a lot of options you can do. Some things I’ve done in the past to take a break from college:</p>

<ul>
<li>Studied in Beijing
-Did the Disney College Program</li>
<li>Did the Semester at Sea program</li>
<li>Took a semester off and worked as a catamaran (sp) tour guide in St. Barts. </li>
</ul>

<p>The options are seriously endless. Another option is to apply for a “visiting student” at another college–where you spend from a semester up to two years (depending on your college and the host college’s rules) at another domestic college. NYU has this program too. </p>

<p>IMO, since it may be too late to transfer by fall–I think you should consider one of the above ideas just to get away for awhile–and depending on how you feel after you’ve had time to step back from the situation–decide whether you want to stay at UMD or seriously transfer. </p>

<p>Also at my college, you’re allowed to do a max of two years abroad. Maybe that’s an option for you too. </p>

<p>Good luck. </p>

<p>I know how you’re probably feeling. I hated my old college and the minute I left, I was much happier. Sometimes the school and student just aren’t a fit. </p>

<p>(btw, excuse any typos. I had to write this on a cell and my texting skills suck)</p>

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<p>“^Not sure how strict each university’s policy is, gaining instate status for staying there for 1 yr is very tough, possibly impossible.”</p>

<p>I thought at most schools if you’ve lived and worked in a state for a year, you’re considered in-state.</p>

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<p>As far as being just an ID number, you’ve got to realize that that’s life no matter where you go. Once you graduate, you’re just a number to your medical school, to your company, to the government, to whatever. You are always responsible for your own happiness. You are responsible for surrounding yourself with people you like and respect. Obviously if you hate your school you should transfer, but carefully consider why you want to transfer. Are you really unhappy/isolated because of the partying culture at UMD? </p>

<p>Basically I’m saying that I hate the myth that LACs and private schools will somehow coddle you and give you a sense of community unavailable to you at larger schools. That’s BS. In fact, if the problem isn’t with the school (which could always be a possibility), then you’re making a HUGE mistake. Instead of being unhappy but surrounded with 25,000 other people, among whom potentially awesome friends could be found, you will instead be miserable around the same 3000 people with no variety of social or academic outlets to pursue. Smaller schools just as often compound and amplify lonliness/depression as they do relieve it. </p>

<p>And as far as the specific schools you listed, you are definitely, definitely just a number at both NYU and Cornell. They will both take your $52000 check with a smile and leave you to your own devices. At Cornell in particular, there is absolutely no hand-holding. If you don’t possess the willpower to make yourself happy, it will make you f***ing miserable and you will slip through the cracks, trust me.</p>

<p>I can’t comment on what to do regarding going abroad/taking a leave of absense but Plattsburgh seems to have some good advice. I would recommend that you stick out this fall and decide over winter break whether or not you want to apply in February for fall 2011 admission. This will give you time to explore other social/academic outlets at UMD and also boost your gpa and get letters of recommendation if you do decide to transfer. </p>

<p>In any case I can empathize to a degree because I will miserable at my old school before I transferred to Cornell. I didn’t magically become happy once I arrived in Ithaca but Cornell taught me (the hard way) that I am responsible for my own happiness/success and being independent and self-reliant is the only way to achieve these things. Good luck. I hope things work out.</p>

<p>

Oh and transfer deadlines are usually in February-March for the next school year ('11-'12). Unless you’re dead set on spring '11 admission here, in which case you should apply asap.</p>

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<p>It sounds like you would benefit from a transfer to an LAC.</p>

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<p>

</p>

<p>Have you attended Cornell all four years? To be fair, it’s a pretty big private and probably not a great representation of LAC’s or small privates.</p>

<p>All I know is that my 2 years at a 750 student northeast boarding school were distinctly different from my 3 years so far at a 35,000 state U. I was certainly coddled more in the small school. I’m sure some/most of that is simply the difference between hs and college, but I definitely suspect LAC’s are a different scene than UW Madison or UMaryland.</p>

<p>So I second the suggestion to consider a small private/LAC (rather than NYU/Cornell) if this is financially possible. I think that kind of college could help you grow.</p>

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<p>^I attended a small (3500 undergrads) private LAC for 1 year before I transferred to Cornell. I’m starting my 3rd year at Cornell so I have a little bit of experience with both small and big privates. I doubt a public flagship of similar size as Cornell (15000 undergrads + 5000 grads) would feel any different i.e. broad curriculum, greek life, D1 sports, etc.</p>

<p>The only problem I have with someone in her situation transferring to a LAC is that if she still feels the same way after the transfer, then the smaller, more isolated setting could amplify her depression. I feel she’d have considerably less options at a small school if she still hasn’t identified what the source of her unhappiness is.</p>

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<p>Shop offered specific problems she has with Maryland: the excessive party culture, her unmotivated peers, and the impersonal experience. Let’s be honest here; state schools like Maryland DEFINITELY have motivated/intellectual students–the entire student body is just not consistently so. But for whatever reason, she’s not finding them. If you’re not good at finding niches within larger communities, then a 25000 undergrad state school is probably not for you. Which is fine; state schools shouldn’t be for everyone. </p>

<p>She sounds like someone who wants and would benefit from attention. OP, you sound like the kind of person who wants a 20 person Harkness table style English class rather than a 60 person lecture, or a college where, within a few months, you recognize most of the people you see walking between classes?</p>

<p>In these respects, I think colleges like Swarthmore and UMaryland are distinct. Maryland is like my school, and 1/3 of Swarthmore could fit in my ochem lecture–one of the 4 ochem sessions offered, that is.</p>

<p>I guess we should hear what the OP thinks. Even if you’re right and the OP doesn’t really know what she wants yet, I don’t think a small school is dangerous. Here in Madison you can get lost–no one will notice. In boarding school, you had to snap out of it fast. There were too few students and too many individualized in-class projects/presentation for no one to help a depressed/misguided student. I can’t imagine that a 1500 student private LAC is so much less personal than a 750 student boarding school.</p>

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<p>you’ve answered your own question; you don’t want to be there. So take some time off and transfer. Colleges are aware that some kids make impulsive or not-well-considered choices, and you’re just digging in deeper if you go back. But you should reflect on where you went wrong and spend more time contemplating what YOU really want in a college and making sure you pick a basket to apply to that have what you’re looking for. When you write “I’m thinking about applying to schools like University of Miami, Northeastern, NYU, Cornell, Babson, I’m really not sure though.” that is such a diverse basket of schools that I’m not confident you’re ready to make a better choice this time around.</p>

<p>IMHO your parents gave you some unhelpful advice; sticking it out is one thing, they were probably right to say give it a try 2nd semester, but at the same time you should have invested a few hours in setting up plan B (eg. transferring) in case plan A didn’t work out. At many large state schools, there is a party atmosphere, especially among frosh living away from home for the 1st time.</p>

<p>However I am surprised you’re looking for help here; isn’t the therapist of any help? In the end you need to make a decision that’s right for you, and the large numbers of people enjoying UMD ought to tell you that there are a great range of opinions on the best things to do during the college years. But it doesn’t matter what’s right for everyone else, what matters is what’s right for you.</p>

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<p>try a smaller school. take summer classes at a school you’re interested in attending. sounds like you just aren’t feeling UM. I hated my first semester but I now love my school, but if you gave it a year maybe it’s not for you. I think a lot of the deadlines to transfer are over, but maybe take a semester off and take classes at a local school and send in some apps for the spring. Some schools are rolling admissions for transfers- talk to admissions in school you are interested in transferring to. In the meantime think of a Prof of 2 to get a rec from, start the common app, start your essays etc;. My school is more studious but it’s still a good time.
I also hated my roommate first semester- she puked in the room, kept things in the room, loud, snored, had her parents visit every week to bring laundary, had boys over, violated room rules, etc; but she moved in with her bf second semester and things got a lot better.
You may want to transfer to a more academic based school instead of a party school. Seems like you are more of a 2 or 3 night a week person.
Enroll at a CC or local school for the fall just to get credits and keep your insurance. Or just work FT. I know at my school people have enough credits to graduate a semester early b/c of APs or CC classes, so missing a semester isn’t going to put you behind. And if it does you can take a couple of summer classes. Don’t stay at a school that you hate, it’s not worth the money.</p>

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<p>Yes, I know that I really need to consider my decision of switching to a different school. I honestly don’t think it’s that I’m intimidated by the “party” atmosphere - I would absolutely love to go to the University of Miami, a school that I’ve visited before. It’s just the overall type of student that Maryland attracts. The area around UMD is absolutely horrible as well, which made me feel like I was trapped in a bubble all throughout my Freshman year.</p>

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<p>Hi guys - just wanted to give everybody an update - ultimately, I decided to stay home for the semester and go to my local CC. I will be applying and (fingers crossed) transferring into Spring 2011. Thanks everyone for your input/advice - I really appreciate it.</p>

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<p>Sounds like you made the right decision for yourself. Get started on those applications. Also, remember that you will need professor recommendations for your transfer applications.
Get to know your professors at your CC right away. If you plan on using professor recommendations from Univ. of Md., contact them now.</p>

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<p>Sounds like you made the right decision for you. Best of luck!</p>