<p>Hey, everyone. I am a junior in college. Last year, I transferred from a state school to the University of Chicago as a physics major. After winter quarter, I decided that I didn't want to do physics anymore, and became an English major with an eye toward pre-health. I was doing well in my classes, but I didn't like them anymore, and couldn't think of a science or math-based career that I wanted after college besides something in the health professions.</p>
<p>Anyhow, I have had a lot of problems adjusting to my new school so far. My first year of college was socially bleak. I am very shy, and didn't make any friends until spring quarter when I befriended my new roommate. This year I am still acquaintances with the same people from last year, but our relationships haven't gotten closer-- in fact, they are growing weaker as I don't have as many "excuses" to see them and they move on with their lives. I find it hard to deliberately put myself in social situations.</p>
<p>I've had problems with depression and anxiety for most of my teen years, and at the end of last year they started really inhibiting my academic performance. I found it very hard to get out of bed in the morning due to sadness and self-loathing, and hard to leave my room if my suitemates were around, to the point where I would skip morning classes just to wait until everyone had left. I started meeting with a therapist, but it was short-term and not very useful. Spring quarter my grades were mediocre. I considered taking a leave of absence this year, but never really felt justified doing so.</p>
<p>Now I'm back at school and remembering again why I considered a leave. I skipped classes for a whole week when my psychiatrist prescribed me an antidepressant that made me highly anxious. Even at my best I feel unmotivated and don't care about academics, I just enjoy my campus job and volunteer activities. What I eat and when I sleep and how much I exercise are very important in managing my depression, but food service makes it very difficult to be consistent and healthy about my diet, I have no time to exercise, and my suitemates and the general noise level of dorms make it difficult for me to sleep when I need to.</p>
<p>I know I'm throwing myself a major pity party, but I'm very miserable and don't know if I can eke out another two years of this without a stronger support network. I don't even know if I want to-- most of my goals now could be achieved at a less prestigious school, with less of a strain on my health. All of my friends who are like me and are happy are living close to their families, fairly independently, going to school full- or half-time, with a clear set of goals ahead of them. I feel like I'm kind of stranded and forever waffling about my intent. I feel very lucky to have the scholarships to go here, but I also feel like I'm wasting them by letting the quarters tick by without knowing what I want to do. And I don't like the feeling of being dependent on the university for everything when they jerk their students around so much.</p>
<p>So, my conclusion is that I should either take a leave of absence, or attempt to transfer to a school closer to home where I will be able to see my parents and sisters and friends, and not feel so alone in managing my life. I'm looking for any kind of input-- positive, negative, whatever your thoughts are, I'm interested in hearing them. My parents don't mind where I go to college (I'm a first-generation college student), and after a whole year I'm fairly certain I'm not happy here, and will come out of things with a mediocre GPA due to my uneven interest in my studies. Any thoughts?</p>
i have been having trouble making friends since I have been at college too my freshman year was fine ever since then I havent been having much of a social life.</p>