Transferring from Dartmouth to Pomona

Colleges and Universities A-Z Pomona College
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<p>(SORRY this is such a long post--Thank you so much to any who take the time to read it. It means a lot to me!)</p>

<p>I just finished my freshman fall at Dartmouth College and had a pretty bad experience.</p>

<p>First off, I am a non-drinker, but I love to be social and spend time with friends. When applying I read that there were many alternative social options, but I haven't found this to be so. There are certainly a few, but they are just that--few. Movies and performances at the arts center end early, and a cappella shows are usually followed by drinking (or attended by already drunk people). Many club meetings are sparsely attended and thus not good places to make like-minded friends. It is very difficult to meet friends outside of the frats because that seems to be the only place where students gather en masse.</p>

<p>Also, the isolation is already driving me crazy. Because I don't care to spend time at frats, the only places I can spend time with friends are dorms or the student center. This is fun sometimes, but I just can't imagine living like this for the next four years. I love walking around town, looking in store windows, shopping, eating out, and meeting new people.</p>

<p>Before anyone accuses me of not doing my research before I chose a school, I would like to say that <em>yes,</em> I did know that Hanover is in the middle of a forest and the frat scene is huge. But so many students seemed to love the environment so I hoped that I would, too. Dartmouth is known for its school pride and enthusiasm, so I guess I figured, "Well, if everybody loves Dartmouth SO much, that must mean it's great. So even if I'm not into frats, I'm sure I will love it too--doesn't everyone?"</p>

<p>Anyways, I am also not sure how much I like being so far from home. I live in Southern California (and have lived in the same house since the day I was born) and I have been very homesick. I love California and its sunny weather--though I took it for granted until I left--and I miss it terribly. I miss the laid-back atmosphere, the beaches, and being near my family (with whom I have a very close relationship).</p>

<p>I guess when I was choosing Dartmouth I told myself location shouldn't be a big issue. I thought "Sure, it's far from home, but I'll be fine! I'm independent and confident." Turns out location has been a huge issue for me. I cry all the time at school, wishing I had stayed in California or that I could see my friends from home. It's too expensive to come home for Thanksgiving, so I can only come home for Winter and Spring breaks.</p>

<p>Another thing I miss is ballet. I have been a dancer my entire life and I absolutely love it. The dance program at Dartmouth is non-existent, and although I am in a student-run dance group, it is small and its members are not very involved. I knew this when I came to the school, but I had been told "try new things!" so many times that I figured it would be good for me to try new activities in place of ballet. I did try many new activities, but none could replace ballet.</p>

<p>Basically, the point of this thread is not to bash Dartmouth--I think it is a great school and I really <em>want</em> to like it and I have been trying to like it. The point is to ask a question: How soon is too soon to know if I should transfer?</p>

<p>My parents are concerned because I have been very depressed at school and I call them crying all the time. They suggested--and I agree with their suggestion--that I apply to transfer to a California school. I would finish the year at Dartmouth and then start at a new school in fall 2011.</p>

<p>The school I would love to transfer to is Pomona College. I was accepted last fall but I chose Dartmouth. I thought Dartmouth had a better academic reputation and that its name and alumni network would take me farther. I also liked the idea of so many traditions, the intense school spirit, the picturesque New England town, the Ivy League name, and the east coast experience. All these things sounded and still sound great on paper--but actually being at the school has made me very unhappy. I imagined by this time I would love college, have some really good friends, and not want to come home. Instead I am afraid to go back in January.</p>

<p>Pomona is 2 hours from where I live, so I could have a car and see my parents on Thanksgiving and any other time I wanted or needed. They have a full-fledged dance department and really great ballet classes there. It's warm, sunny, and beautiful. The academic experience would be roughly the same, with small classes, close relationships with professors, and very personal advising. I would get the tight-knit community as well as the consortium benefits. I would still be able to do research, study abroad, get internships, and volunteer. The student body seems to be much more laid-back and slightly nerdier, while Dartmouth can feel very preppy and jock-y at times (that's really not me).</p>

<p>The idea of transferring sounds really great, <em>except</em> that I'm worried I'll regret it. What I want to know is, is it way too early to know if I dislike Dartmouth? Is my experience and dissatisfaction really common among all first-year students? I recognize how early it is in my college career, and I don't want to make a rash decision. How soon is too soon to know? </p>

<p><em>And how different is Pomona from Dartmouth in the areas I've addressed?</em></p>

<p>I am very unhappy at school and I desperately want to be back in California. Please help!</p>

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<p>Iā€™m so sorry to hear you are having a bad experience at Dartmouth.</p>

<p>Our daughter is in her freshman year at Pomona and sounds very much like you in terms of interests and personality (tight family, laid-back and artistic, loves warm weather) and social needs. Although she is by nature quite shy, a non-drinker, and now far from home for the first time in her life (she was excited, but very anxious at the prospect), she is loving every minute and has made a host of great friends in just her first few months at the school. In fact, she has more friends now than at any other time in her life. I asked her the other day if someone she mentioned in passing was nice, and she replied almost indignantly, ā€œDad, everyone at Pomona is nice!ā€ She loves the food, her dorm, her roommate and the Pomona/5C atmosphere, which is academically very challenging, yet entirely non-competitive. The classes are intimate, and she has already made close personal connections with virtually all of her profs. She has attended the LA Opera twice in her first term ā€“*free ride there and excellent seats which the schoolā€™s music department supplied at no cost to her. Claremont is a great little town: small and friendly, but not too small, if you know what I mean. The Pomona sponsor group system is wonderfully supportive, and the lack of frats or obvious cliques keeps everyone on an even keel socially. I write this not to make you feel worse, 14 dartmouth, only because you asked for comparative examples. </p>

<p>I realize every person is different, and this is only my opinion, but I believe strongly that the first few years of college are the most important time in a personā€™s life. Passions should be avidly pursued, horizons widened, social bonds formed, and the foundation laid for a happy life and future career. If you are not in the right place for that to happen, it will become immediately clear to you. In reading your story, it seems to me that what you are experiencing goes far beyond freshman homesickness ā€“ it sounds to me like you made a regrettable decision to attend a school that ā€“ however much appreciated by others ā€“ is clearly not a good fit for you.</p>

<p>That is truly unfortunate, but it is not too late to change. My advice, FWIW, is to immediately take steps to improve your situation. If Pomona sounds good and you havenā€™t already done so, try to get down there for a visit as soon as you can. If youā€™ve been there or canā€™t get down to visit, call them and write or speak to the good folks in admissions. Head of Admissions Bruce Poch is a great man: although he is leaving at the end of this year I would go directly to him with your dilemma. Relate your circumstances and reasons for wanting to switch. Concentrate almost exclusively on the ā€œnon-homesickā€ reasons, though, for you donā€™t want anyone to think that itā€™s just a question of loneliness. Make sure you have some backup schools as well, and then do everything within your power to effect this positive change in your life. Once you start toward this goal, youā€™ll feel much better about the future. Over the years, I have read of many people in your position who have transferred out of Ivy league schools to find happiness at Pomona. You can be one of them if you put your mind to it. Remember: you got accepted there once, which is no small feat. You can do it again.</p>

<p>I wish you the best of luck, 14dartmouth. Donā€™t worry: whatever happens, there is much happiness ahead for you!</p>

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<p>Sounds like transfering to Pomona would be a great plan, to me. The reasons you enumerate all make perfecty rational sense, plus itā€™s a better school than Dartmouth.</p>

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<p>It sounds to me like youā€™ve given Dartmouth a reasonable chance to be a good fit, and I seriously doubt it will become a fantastic experience. If you stay, Iā€™m certain you will make some good friends who have similar issues with the place, and youā€™ll find some worthwhile activities and be basically okay. But thatā€™s not optimal! I totally agree with Enkephalon about what a rich experience college can be. </p>

<p>It does sound like being back in California would make you much happier, and Pomona would be a better fit. I feel like there are lots of kids like you at Pomona. My D and all her friends Iā€™ve met are just plain happy being at Pomona. Great people, great academic experience, lots of things to do (much of which can involve drinking but maybe doesnā€™t revolve around drinking as much as at Dartmouth). Pomona deserves its reputation as a place filled with smart, talented, engaged, high-energy kids who are relatively relaxed about things like academic competition.</p>

<p>But please, if you make this decision to transfer, donā€™t look back and allow regrets to take root! If it feels right, itā€™s the best thing to do. Iā€™ve actually talked to quite a few students who have faced similar decisions, and Iā€™m pretty certain the majority who make the change are happy, and the ones who stay in the sub-optimal situation tend to feel more regretful.</p>

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<p>No interesteddad, you cannot make a blanket statement like ā€œitā€™s a better school than dartmouthā€. Both schools are good in different ways, and unless you provide specific analysis as to why Pomona is better, then you will be disregarded as a ā– ā– ā– ā– ā– . Iā€™ve seen you start this nonsense on the Williams forum, so please, lets not start it here.</p>

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<p>Wow, thank you for all the great feedback. This is really helpful. I feel like the decision to transfer is frowned uponā€“especially from Dartmouthā€“but I have just felt disappointed with my experience so far. </p>

<p>So you donā€™t think this is too early to decide Dartmouth is wrong for me? A lot of people have said that ā€œthe problem is not the school, itā€™s youā€ā€¦So am I not giving it a proper chance? Do I just need to ā€˜get overā€™ my homesickness?</p>

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<p>If it means anything, I have a friend who transferred from an Ivy League to Claremont McKenna and is now very happy. Iā€™d consider applying to CMC as well as Pomona if you want to be in Cali. All the things that you said about Pomona also apply to CMC and both are great schools. You would be able to take dance classes (and other courses) at Pomona as a CMC student. A good second option. </p>

<p>@Analysis: interesteddad is simply a strong supporter of LACs and what they have to offer. And in the areas in which LACs are strong (strong education, more opportunities for research, etc), itā€™s difficult to argue that Dartmouth is better than Pomona.</p>

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<p>Dartmouth - I think that ā€œhomesicknessā€ is directly related to happiness. If you were happy in your current situation and comfortable with your social situation I donā€™t think you would be homesick. Donā€™t be hard on yourself for that one. Perhaps you should view the homesickness as an indication that you are not in the right fit school for you.</p>

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<p>I agree with NJ Mom of 2. Attending college is a bit like entering an intimate new relationship. Yes, there is a chance one might make a hasty initial estimation and be pleasantly surprised later, but it is more likely that oneā€™s first impressions are the most valid.</p>

<p>As she wisely notes, if you were happy and comfortable at Dartmouth you wouldnā€™t be as homesick and regretful as you are at present. Fauxnom rightly adds: why settle for suboptimal 4-yr college experience when you can have a joyous and fulfilling one?</p>

<p>Nelson Mandela once said: "ā€œThere is no passion to be found playing small ā€“ in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living.ā€ In the end, it is you ā€“ not other people that must live with your life decisions. Who cares what is ā€œfrowned uponā€ or not?</p>

<p>Just like people, every college has a personality of its own: a vibe, an ambience, and a distinct social and educational offering to its attendees. Any suggestion that you are the problem (and not the school) avoids that obvious fact and unfairly undercuts your honest judgement. Why second-guess and punish yourself? College shouldnā€™t be a ā€œhair-shirtā€ experience. If you are not getting what you want and need where you are, you should look for it elsewhere. There is plenty of choice in California, and lots of elite schools that have personalities and offerings closer to or more synchronous with your own.</p>

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<p>14D-
Youā€™re story strikes a chord here. My D applied to Dartmouth but did not get in (we live in the northeast, I think that might have been the problem), and in retrospect sheā€™s glad she didnā€™t (and attends Pomona). 2 of her best friends go there and she said they seem to do a lot of drinking, which they didnā€™t in high school. My sonā€™s best friend attended Dartmouth and he also said the drinking scene predominates. From what my D says drinking at Pomona is fairly suppressed. The alcohol at school sanctioned events is very controlled and so any drinking is done on the sly in dorm rooms. Depending on your RA, there may be more suppression or less, but itā€™s not prevalent. And there are certain things, like drinking games, that she says you can get in big trouble over. (Can you imagine Dartmouth without beer pong?) On the other end of the spectrum, she said Pomona canā€™t have a party without indoctrination sessions on responsible drinking, the dangers of drugs, respect for others, etc. She says itā€™s actually a little too politically correct-- you need to go to one of the other Claremont schools to go to party thatā€™s any fun-- but she knew going in that Pomona is very PC, and there are some things about the political correctness that she likes-- like suppression of a predominating drinking culture. It may be more in line with what you want to do or donā€™t want to be around, but just understand that at Pomona thereā€™s more supervision and less freedom in this regard than you have at Dartmouth.</p>

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<p>From a studentā€™s perspective- you can def have a little party and have some buddies over to drink, just donā€™t attract too much attention. Also it HEAVILY depends on your RA. Some RAā€™s do not care at all whether you drink/smoke/ do whatever (I even had an RA who hosted a hall party with alcohol during my freshman year). Some RAā€™s seem to make it their lifeā€™s mission to patrol the halls.</p>

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<p>D is applying to Pomona RD. She knows herself well enough to recogneze that frats & serorities is not her thing. 14dartmouth, it sounds like you had a fantastic growth experience with your time @ Hanover! Thatā€™s what life is aboutā€“figuring it out as we go along the way. Great success to your new undergraduate experience at Pomona.</p>

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<p>ā€œAnother thing I miss is balletā€</p>

<p>Make sure Pomona will satisfy you on this point. When D2 was looking we found adequate modern dance offerings, but ballet not so much, just a couple levels IIRC.</p>

<p>"From what my D says drinking at Pomona is fairly suppressed. "
Perhaps, but when my 16-year old daughter did an overnight there, a number of years ago now, she apparently landed in the ā€œpot
dormā€ and was offered to partake. A little fast, socially, for her at the time.</p>

<p>"Pomona is 2 hours from where I live, so I could have a car and see my parents on Thanksgiving and any other time I wanted or needed. "</p>

<p>We loved it when D2 was attending college close to home, we got to see her on all holidays, and other times as well. She brought her college friends too. I think itā€™s really useful to have that extra support available.</p>

<p>ā€œHow soon is too soon to know if I should transfer?ā€</p>

<p>Well, nobody can say, for sure. FWIW D2 wanted to transfer after year 1, stayed for the first semester of year 2 and nothing happened that changed her mind. She transferred, and is much happier for it. Different situation, different schools, but stillā€¦</p>

<p>My own opinion is, apply for transfer, but keep plugging and try to make the best of it next semester. It probably would not take too much, just maybe meeting the right three people, to turn the situation around there, and you should be open to that, and take steps to make that happen. As you say, tons of people like it here, maybe you could be among them.</p>

<p>But at the end of the day, if itā€™s not happening for you there, itā€™s not happening.</p>

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<p>regarding ballet, FWIW:
<a href=ā€œhttp://talk.collegeconfidential.com/dance-major/291713-academics-dance-ballet.html[/url]ā€>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/dance-major/291713-academics-dance-ballet.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

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<p>@santeria: CMC is a great school, but itā€™d be just as poor of a fit for 14dartmouth as Dartmouth. CMC has a work hard, play hard social scene, which is basically the same attitude youā€™d find at an Ivy League frat. A friend of mine ended up transferring from CMC because she didnā€™t think it was ā€œintellectual enough.ā€ </p>

<p>Pomona is the 5C school for 14dartmouth if any of them are.</p>

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<p>I disagree. CMC fits a lot of the opā€™s criteria. Unlike Dartmouth, CMC is not in the middle of nowhere- itā€™s in Southern Cal. LA is very close. There are four other schools to socialize with. It is very possible to have fun at CMC without drinking, even if it is dominant at parties. There are just a ton of things to do. Thereā€™s the Ath, which hosts speakers four days a week. Maybe not completely intellectual, but CMC academics are still excellent particularly in economics/gov/psych/applied sciences. And unlike Darthmouth, CMC has warm weather. Most students are very happy at CMC. From what the op wrote, I think sheā€™d be happier at CMC than Darthmouth,</p>

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<p>14dartmouth, sounds to me like you have definitely given this a fair shake, and have come to know yourself a lot better in the process. a previous poster mentioned contacted dean poch directlyā€¦sounds like a very good idea, perhaps a heartfelt letter followed by a transfer app this spring. but donā€™t wait.</p>

<p>if youā€™re afraid to go back, or know you will be miserable if you doā€¦do you even have to? are your grades strong enough from fall semester that you might not need to? or do you need a full year under your belt before you transfer?</p>

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<p>hi,</p>

<p>im a dartmouth 14 and im thinking of transferring too. i basically feel the same way.</p>

<p>we should meet up and grab some lunch or something ā€“ its impossible to find people here that dont love dartmouth (or dont pretend to love it)</p>

<p>send me a private message through college confidential and then iā€™ll give u my blitz if ur interested ā€“ i dont want to post my name over here</p>

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<p>okay this is going to sound really weird, but Iā€™m a dartmouth 14 also and obviously stumbled upon this while searching up possibilities of transferring from dartmouth.</p>

<p>Iā€™m relieved to know other people have thoughts about transferring too</p>

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<p>If you have considered all your options and consulted with your family then transferring would likely be right for you. However, I know lots of students, one of them at Pomona, who was homesick and wanted to transfer. Keep an open mind, even if you fill out all the paperwork to transfer keep trying to make connections and friends at Dartmouth. Looks like you can find a few right here ^^^ The gal at Pomona who wanted to transfer just decided to join a bunch of clubs and found her group at school. Now she is very happy!</p>

<p>I am a big, big fan of Pomona! Good luck and best wishes!!</p>