So I’m in the middle of my second semester here (entered spring 2018) at Cornell and I am still not well adjusted here socially. It is hard for me to imagine sticking it out for 3 plus years here when I’m already sick of the Greek and competitive culture here. Everything socially revolves around Greek life which I have no interest in. I have friends but it is still quite different here than what I am used to back home and the weather here is truly awful. I get homesick pretty frequently and while I’m less than 5 hours away it’s a hassle to go back and forth. I’m an economics major and I do pretty well academically (prob will end the semester with a 3.9 cumulative) but I don’t do many clubs other than some community service. I can feel myself fatiguing out and getting sick of staying here. It’s fine enough where I’ll stick it out to the end of the academic year but still I am just not happy here. Anyways do I stand a chance to move into a Columbia or Georgetown type school without a very strong academic reason to switch and not many extracurriculars on the strength of my college GPA? I’d appreciate any feedback please. I was a pretty solid hs applicant so that shouldn’t hold me back either.
Here’s some wisdom 
College sucks. It’s meant to suck, and it’s that way by design. Take the suck with a sense of humor and expect lots more suck. You’re doing great! As far as your social life. Don’t worry too much about it. If you don’t like being Greek, then no one is forcing you to go to parties. College parties are completely overrated anyway. There’s a lot of clubs and social organizations you can get involved in where you can find like-minded people. You can save rain forests or join a baking club. You don’t have to try to be someone or something you’re not in order to make someone else happy. You’ll never make lasting friendships that way. That’s why parties are a lousy way to make friends. How can two people get to know each other when both of them are just putting up a front to make the other person happy? They’d like you to think that they’re happy with lots of friends, because they like to “party,” but seriously! Didn’t these kids outgrow that in high school?
My advice…just be real, and find like-minded real people. College is a very diverse place, and there’s always people who are looking for social connections just like you are.
Yes, you could certainly transfer with your high GPA but Cornell has over 1000 student organizations. You can find your people, you just need to dig a bit deeper.
Where are you from? Seriously: my collegekid at Cornell has been reporting amazing weather for upstate NY. It was apparently quite a nice spring, and the fall has been unseasonably warm (80 & sunny the other day). If you are from SoCal or Fl or something it might be a big change, but if this particular spring & autumn were that bad for you, you aren’t going to like the weather at Columbia any better. Georgetown will be less cold in absolute terms, and a little shorter winter, but you aren’t going to like Jan/Feb/March In DC any much better than Ithaca.
Homesickness and fitting in will follow you wherever you go. You went through a lot of colleges the first time around. If you are going to transfer, try to apply what you have learned about yourself in the meantime: what do you really want from your college experience? What will be actually different about college X or Y? Columbia & Georgetown are both urban - do you want that in particular, or just b/c you don’t like exurban? Columbia has a strong Core requirement: is that something you actually want? etc. It needs to be more than, ‘don’t like this / might as well try that’.
(And, as others have said, don’t forget to factor in costs)
It seems like your GPA would make transfering a possibility at many fine schools. However, If you really want a change in the competative culture, Columbia makes no sense. It is a highly competative, even cut throat place academically. On the other hand, there is very little Greek life. I would just make sure that you are transferring some place that will actually fulfill your needs.
FWIW, my experience was, a lot of stuff seemed to revolve around Greek life during freshman year, when the fraternities were prepping for rush and before people had established their own social network.
But as an upperclassman I had nothing to do with them. My whole social life/scene moved to Collegetown.
My daughter transferred in, and she had nothing to do with fraternities/sororities either. And had an amazing social life.
There is enough to do in Ithaca, but it helps if if you have people to do it with. The greek system sort of automatically serves up the people, but outside of that system it is on you. Like in real life, after school. Many people establish their social network while living in the freshman dorms. Maybe coming in second semester disadvantaged you a bit socially.
If you stay there, maybe living in a coop would be helpful to you. Or in a shared Collegetown house.
But at the end of the day, if it isn’t working out for you by all means transfer. This isn’t jail.
If you choose to transfer to a very competitive school, IMO you do need to make a strong case. I know this is important when transferring “to” Cornell. The “why ___?” essay should be compelling. If the primary issue isn’t academic, then the academic aspect has to be at least just as strong, and the social and other aspects need to be compelling, for you being at that school specifically and not at Cornell.
Finally think carefully about your choice of school to transfer to, lest you wind up feeling you made another mistake
http://talk.qa.collegeconfidential.com/discussion/comment/21716249#Comment_21716249
Integrating socially as a transfer student is more difficult than as a (fall-entering) freshman, basically everyplace.
I hear you. But you have not even completed two semesters yet. Keep going. If you transfer, you’ll be starting at square one again. Try to make Cornell work. Cornell is less defined by one “type” of student than almost any other college. Every type is there. Jocks, Greeks, nerds, preps, new money, old money, Pell recipients, NYC born and bred, country folk, farmers, internationals from all over the world … I could go on. And it’s a big school. Truly, every “type” is at Cornell. As for the weather, you have to try to embrace it. Spring and fall are gorgeous. Winters are cold, but it’s the tie that binds the diverse population.
Of course your friendships are not like those you have at home. You were in HS for four years. You perhaps lived in your hometown for 18 years. You’ve been at Cornell for six non-continuous months. Be kind to yourself. Manage your expectations. Also, remember that there are about 15,000 undergrads. You know how many are Greek-affiliated? 4500. That leaves another 10,500 for you to meet. Also, you are a freshman. Greek life seems more dominant when you are a freshman than it really is. As you get more and more immersed in your own interests and get beyond freshman year, you’ll barely know Greek life is there.
What is your major? Are you trapped in one part of campus, or can you take a bunch of your classes somewhere else? If you are in Arts and Sciences, even just one class in Human Ecology or Ag and Life Sciences or the Hotel School or ILR could give you a very different perspective and let you meet a bunch of folks you otherwise might not know.
I hated Ithaca when I was a grad student at Cornell. I only started to like it after I’d graduated and was working there while waiting for Happydad to finish up his doctorate. So trust me, I totally get it when you say the weather is awful and that you just want out.
Keep up your grades. Make friends with your professors for those much needed LORs. Work on a possible application list. Read the course catalogues and the professors’ individual bios very carefully so that you can sniff out something that can only be done (or just plain be done better) at GW, Columbia, or wherever else it is that you think you might prefer to be. File your transfer applications and see what happens.
Wishing you all the best!
Transferring is a hassle.
What about a cool study abroad for Junior year? I bet with economics there are some pretty cool options all over the world! Then you’d come back and just have one year to finish your degree.
Or, you could do a semester in DC or something and/or New York? I know a lot of colleges have that option. The smaller cohort might be just what you’re looking for.
I know that it’s a diverse place filled with non greeks too but I find my options in Ithaca here more limiting than city life. I just feel kinda lost and just want a fresh start. I’m not the most outgoing person and it seems everyone has already established their social circles. I did try to to make a big effort to socialize after staying in my dorm for most of last semester but it’s still pretty hard and I’m afraid I’m just going to end up burning out.
With a 3.9 GPA in economics at Cornell you should certainly be able to transfer to Georgetown & many other elite universities.
For a change of environment, consider Georgetown, Columbia & Northwestern–as all offer major cities.
I’m sorry you are having a rough time. I recommend you take steps in both tracks - see if there are people to reach out to at Cornell and get involved with some non-greek folks, but also start the transfer process. If you are unhappy, having a plan to try someplace else seems wise! Good luck to you
If you’re really unhappy, yes, you should consider a transfer. Just keep in mind that all schools have their issues and that you may end up trading one set of hurdles for another. It may not be less competitive or socially better at Georgetown or Columbia. But if you’ve explored these schools and are willing to take that risk, go for it, and don’t look back.
You will take this same challenge- and more so- with you if you transfer. Hand on heart, there are so, so, so many students who post this every year- so many that there is an excellent thread by @Lindagaf about it: http://talk.qa.collegeconfidential.com/college-life/2016222-to-those-who-feel-lonely-homesick-friendless-think-they-chose-the-wrong-school-etc-p1.html
There are a lot of practical suggestions in the thread, to which I will add use the easy connection: schoolwork. Ask a couple people in class if they would like to get together and work on a problem set / study for a midterm together. Break the ice after a class by asking the person sitting next to you what they thought about something in the class. Suggest going for a coffee/treat/lunch whatever after a quiz. Yes, some people will say no. But, some people will say yes. Look for people who you cross paths with- is somebody in your dorm in one of your classes? Are you in more than one class with somebody? Focus on the courses you are taking for your major- by the end of this most people will be declaring. etc.
Even if you decide that you still want to leave, do these things: you will need the skills when you arrive as a 2nd semester Sophomore. Also, can you enough summer school this year to see to catch up with your class?
“Here’s some wisdom College sucks. It’s meant to suck”
Nope. college is a great experience for most people. If you are unhappy I’d suggest that you consider transferring-sooner is better than later. You probably have a much better idea of what you want. Colleges differ. Admissions isn’t just something that happens and has no impact. Admissions missions differ across schools and the result is that freshman classes in one university have different personality profiles than others. Cornell is a wonderful university but it isn’t for everyone. Like all schools, it has pluses and minuses and a plus for one may be a minus for another. I’d not say “stick it out” if you are unhappy-find a place you will be happier and be careful choosing so you avoid a similar school. You are correct about the focus on Greek and about the competitive nature of students as a group. Of course there are students who are not competitive and there are social events that don’t involve Greek but many more that do. You are in a good position to transfer. And many students unhappy in one school end up very happy in another. The trick is to avoid schools with characteristics you didn’t like in the first school.
@coolguy40 NO, college doesn’t suck, nor does it suck for most people. If OP doesn’t fit in at Cornell, he/she doesn’t have to be resigned to an unhappy four years. many people looooooove their college years and s/he deserves the chance to, as well!
Thanks everyone for the responses. I am still trying to make it work as best as I can but there is some solace in knowing that I have the option of leaving. Surely, the grass might be greener on the other side but at this point, I do feel like it might be worth the risk since I know what I did wrong and can try to narrow my list into schools that fit my personality a little more with the fresh start.
I will add one more thing. Think a lot about exactly why you are unhappy. I advise some students to stick it out while I advise others to get out as soon as they can transfer. The difference in my advice is based upon their reasons for unhappiness.
Some students are happy with most aspects of a school, like the academics and the choices of clubs, and other activities but they are unhappy because they feel they haven’t developed a group of friends yet. They feel that everyone else is linked to a social group but them.
When the issue resides in simply not yet having a group of friends after the first month of school I’d recommend being patient, especially those students who were successful socially in high school. Most who had a very strong support group in high school miss their old friends and are less likely to glom onto others they meet in the first week of school. In contrast, those less confident may do so. Then a month later, those who had been used to having a strong group of buddies begin to feel they are the only ones who now don’t. Those students simply need to be patient and realize that the social groups of the others are not as firm as they appear to be and those students will probably not be close by the end of the year. There is nothing wrong with waiting for friendships to naturally evolve. And, I’ve not known an instance of a student who was successful socially in high school who didn’t develop a strong group of friends in college-it just sometimes takes a while.
But a student who is not happy with other aspects of the school-like the academics or the available social events in general or the values of the school or the predominant characteristics of the school/students should consider a different school.
IMO some of #14 &17 would apply more directly if Cornell was a small liberal arts college with a more homogeneous student body. But that was not my experience there.
Because of the different colleges with different missions there are a lot of different “types” floating around there. It is not nearly true that everyone there is marching to the same drummer.
Also, as a school gets larger, apparently “predominant” characteristics become less relevant so long as there is a large enough group that shares your values. And at a university this large and diverse those people will exist, in large numbers.
The challenge is finding those people. A full year in the freshman dorms typically provides enough time to accomplish the required sorting. But it is possible to be “dumped” into a subgroup that you don’t like, which can make finding your niche more challenging.
There are lots of “available social events” . For every fraternity party there are several house parties going on in Collegetown, or groups of people going out together someplace. As an upperclassman not in the fraternity system fraternity goings-on are ignored. There are more of such people than there are people in fraternities.But you need your group of buddies, to text (or whatever) on Thursday and say “hey we’re going to [activity] on Saturday, leaving my house at 8pm”. etc. Without that group it can indeed be more isolating. Anyplace.
OP can transfer and by serendipity wind up with a more copacetic group at the new school. Or OP can stick it out and wind up finding his/her people at Cornell. Or maybe not. It’s a gamble.
As for academics, IMO OP should not expect easier sailing at a comparably- rated institution with equally or more capable students.
what OP should expect as an upperclassman, if he/she stays:
- Many of the people OP likes least* will be effectively gone. Because they will be off in fraternities. You will basically never see them again. Except in class.
- if that's the case.
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Living off (but near) campus, with all the other people living off campus, there will be effectively no mention of fraternities. You will hear more and more about what the other off-campus people are doing, socially. And hopefully blend in with that scene.
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As an upperclassman you will likely get to know some people who have cars. That very much expands one’s ability to take advantage of the surrounding area.
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Classes will likely get smaller and more uniformly interesting. Probably fewer of them will be severely curved.
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OP may come to appreciate the sheer magnitude of the university’s course catalog, and probably take courses taught at several of the colleges.
That does not mean OP will necessarily get him/herself a great posse or a great social life. Like in “real life” afterwards,a lot of that depends on the individual. Some good fortune may also be involved.