this is currently my third week at the university of scranton. i’m having major doubts and stress about being two hours away from home, as my hometown is in upstate new york. i feel as if im not really making friends, and my boyfriend and mom have been huge supporters in my struggle. i suffer with anxiety and have been doing better with previous depression. a lot of my time is filled with homework and class, so i don’t feel like i can really have time to “hang out with friends” if i had many. i’m definitely not into the party scene at all and that seems to be all there is to do around here.
my question is, would it be a good idea to transfer out? my considerations for transfer are marist mainly, possibly suny new paltz but that’s really not a definite at all, and would love to go to vassar but thats a pretty far reach in hopes of acceptance. the classes so far at scranton are okay, nothing i can’t handle. i just don’t feel happy here, im someone thats more of a homebody and really don’t know if i should look into transferring to be closer to home.
i might live off campus at marist with help from my parents, and potentially living with my long term boyfriend. but thats still very undecided. also very unsure if i should look into transferring into the second semester of freshman year or just waiting until sophomore year to transfer in order to have a fresh start? any advice, specifically about transferring, would be great! im very indecisive right now.
I’ve always been a home-body kind of person. being away from home is hard for me and i feel as though i can succeed better in school with the closer support of family. i talked to my counselor and he said to apply to marist even as soon as next week as a back up if i get accepted , and then continue to give it the rest of the semester. if i change my mind and decide to stay, then i can still say no to marist.
My boyfriend does not go to marist, but he does live in the area and has a flexible/stable job that already commutes. He has even considered moving down here to get an apartment with me in scranton and transferring his job, but i wouldn’t make him do that. I do have financial aid at Scranton, as well as some scholarships. I think maybe $5,000 in scholarships? I’m not sure. And I’m also not sure how the financial aid will work with switching between semesters. Apparently Marist is very good with giving financial aid, though.
for sure not gonna cut ties. do you think it’s possible, if i decide on marist, to attend for a semester with little to no financial aid, and then kind of refigure it all before sophomore year begins?
I’m pretty familiar with it, just not the academics. I would definitely have to take a tour before any decisions are made. I never considered attending Marist before, probably when I thought I wanted to go far away. I’ll definitely look into that though, thank you!!
Well you aren’t far away, you are quite close. Close enough to go home once in awhile, many kids who go away can’t even go for thanks giving, my dd couldn’t afford the airfare across the country. It just seems to me that you had some reason to choose that school, and you are ready to give up without investing anything in making it work. You have hardly been there.people don’t make real friends in just 3 weeks, that won’t happen elsewhere either. You have to realize that progress comes with change and change is uncomfortable for humans until we get used to it. So I hope you can look a bit more long term, in case a transfer doesn’t work out financially, as they often do not. Being busy with class and work is what students do at school, yes. I don’t know what your interests are but maybe a service club or a 10-12 hr a week job where you interact with people could help in the short term, until a semester or two in, when you will have those real friends to hang out with. Sure apply and see if you need options.
i see what you’re saying. and these are all things I’ve considered and still consider and thats why i haven’t made any crazy decisions yet. thank you so much for the advice
The tuition at Marist is quiet reasonable for a private school (at least as of a few years ago when we looked at the school with my S) so even without the $5,000 scholarship it may work out to be cheaper (or at least not more expensive).
SUNY New Paltz is worth a close look as well since it is nearby and you could get in-state rates.
IMHO, you need to focus on school and tell the BF you’ll see him once a month. Do NOT let love interfere with school, period. Boys come and go. Scranton is a solid school and you’re just getting settled and have good FA. I’ve seen this episode play out countless times in my college days, and relationships always get in the way. Give it time and things will work out. There will be no cry babies here. Make it work.
My D14 was a home body and we looked at and liked u Scranton but ended up at another school. It took her until Christmas to settle in to her college and finally feel a bit at home. She did not party at all, did not rush a sorority. But she did get involved in a singing group, a church group, and a few other things. She also tried new things/ events she wouldn’t normally go to just to expand her likes. Found one friend that also did not party and did pizza and movie night in the dorm on Fridays.
Until she got settled, we picked her up from school one or two weekends a month if she wanted. To her it was a bit of work to make friends and she wanted the break of a quiet familiar surrounding.
By end of second semester, she found so much to do that she was sad to come home for summer lol! She had tons of friends and felt completely at home. she says she grew so much as a person and could never see herself anywhere else. This year she rushed a sorority and is doing theater. Never thought the sorority would ever be her thing!
Moral of the story… maybe you just have to ease into it, having plans in place that work for you like going home some, getting involved a little, forcing yourself to try new things that went give you too much anxiety (like a one day event) etc. until you get settled. Hope that helps a little!
well thats not the case at all haha. theres not really much to do, i am trying to get involved with multiple groups, and since he works and i have class and homework we really don’t talk much other than at night and maybe 3 or 4 times throughout the day. i picked the U because of the reputable biology program and its sense of community.
although it was more of a last resort. i didn’t want to go here at all originally, but my other colleges weren’t working out and i got denied from one i was waitlisted at. thank you all, again, for the advice!
" we really don’t talk much other than at night and maybe 3 or 4 times throughout the day."
That is a tremendous number of times to talk. When my H travels for business we only talk once a day and even when he is in the office here we almost never speak during the day as we are both busy. No wonder you have little time to get involved. If you think you will be happier and can afford to transfer then you should consider it but just know that you are really not giving UScranton a fair shake.
