<p>I know it's only the first month, but I really feel like this isn't the right place for me. I'm seriously considering transferring, and I'd like some feedback just to make sure I'm not crazy...</p>
<p>-I really dislike the social scene here. I have no interest in going to frat parties and getting drunk. That's not something that has ever interested me and it's not something that ever will.</p>
<p>-I feel lost. I feel like Cornell is too big and I don't properly fit in.</p>
<p>-I'm too far away from my support network. I call my boyfriend every day, and I call my mom every few days, but that's not the same as them physically being there.</p>
<p>-I'm distracted. With my boyfriend and my long distance relationship, I feel like I spend the day just waiting for the next time we can text or call. I feel like if I could physically see him more often, I'd be less distracted when we're apart.</p>
<p>-I've decided I want to become an English teacher, and Cornell doesn't have an education program. It's only a concentration, and I'd rather go somewhere with a proper program where I can actually earn an education degree.</p>
<p>I'm looking at Boston University, which would put me closer to my boyfriend (he goes to MIT). I also have family in Boston and my best friend from high school goes to Northeastern. BU also has a really good education program. </p>
<p>(I think it's also worth noting that Cornell was the only school I visited and applied to. In retrospect, I really wish I'd looked at more schools, but I thought this was my dream school.)</p>
<p>Sooo my plan is to stay for at least freshman year, and then depending on my circumstances try to transfer for Fall 2013 or Spring 2014. Is this rational? Are there any gaping holes in my logic?</p>
<p>It depends on how sure of your relationship is with your boyfriend. I’ll share a personal story,</p>
<p>My girlfriend and I dated for two years, and were quite serious about each other. When she went away to college, just a few hours from where I lived, things were like you describe with your boyfriend. But we got more distant, she lost a lot of passion, and the relationship ended. It took about three months.</p>
<p>If you go through the whole year, and still want to date this guy, you might consider it. But always be aware that even if you do, there’s no guarantee that it’ll work out long term. Surely, Cornell is a great school, and you don’t want to trade the opportunity to attend unless you are 100% committed and you know he is too.</p>
<p>Be aware that much of the time, when we feel like we miss someone, 90% of it is missing the feeling of closeness and being wanted/needed, in general. We just associate it with that person because we remember receiving those feelings from that person in the past.</p>
<p>Don’t cheat on your boyfriend, but hang out and get to know a few guys, don’t throw it in their faces that you’re taken. You may decide that it’s time to move on, and that could do a lot for you.</p>
<p>But it’s not just about my boyfriend. I’m really unhappy here. If I transfer I’d like to be near him, but he and I already agreed that this something I have to do by myself and anywhere I go has to be a place where I’d be happy even if we broke up.</p>
<p>As a parent of a sophomore, I think it’s a little early to judge whether or not Cornell is the right fit. You haven’t even been on campus for a month yet! It will take time to get acclimated. I think some freshmen go hog wild when first on campus, but many will learn to moderate their excesses as the year progresses. (FWIW, my son is not and never has been into the drinking or frat scene.) While you should consider your options, I would suggest you take advantage of some of the services offered to first year students at the Takton Center and elsewhere. I’m sure you will find that you are not the only one having problems adjusting to college life. All kids do, and Cornell is a big, intimidating campus. As a parent, I would also not be happy to have a student considering a transfer primarily because of a high school relationship. If the relationship is real, it will survive. But a number of them are over by Thanksgiving. It happened so often that parents from my son’s class called it the “Turkey Drop.” (There are a few still together, all at different schools.) The academic issue is more concerning. But, again, you’ve only been at school for a short time and could very likely change your mind about a career path. Perhaps more than once! Try to give it a chance and take advantage of the opportunities while you are there. Of course, if you remain unhappy after giving it the “college try,” you should transfer.</p>
<p>I’d say to not act too quickly, it’s too early and transferring might be a bit rash. Schools always seem big at first, and in my case the school gets smaller by the day in the sense that I feel less and less lost ang get to know the area.
Having a boyfriend during college especially long distance is tough and distracting and to be frank never work. That doesn’t mean obviously that you guys can’t date after college and all but it’s just too hard.
On another note try video chatting with youre mom so you don’t feel so alone. Many kids including me went through similiar feelings, try finding a support group =).
You may want to be an English teacher right now but passions change, explore you’re options that you have at such a large school and join clubs, the more active you are the less alone you’ll feel. I know how it feels to be alone, away from home, with a dirty pile of clothes, no home-cooked meals, and no comfort from people you know. It gets better. Just hang in there, the first days are always the toughest! Good luck.</p>
<p>It’s only the first month. I also have zero interest in parties, and at least half of the other freshmen I have met either don’t like them either or don’t go to them frequently. Try meeting different sorts of people - for example, the people in STEM majors seem to be on the whole much less the party/drinking type.</p>
<p>Maybe you made a rash decision not considering other schools, but I think it’s equally rash to decide to transfer out already. Be open to enjoying it here, and if you still really don’t like it after this year is over, then revisit the idea of transferring.</p>
<p>Also, you can still become an English teacher with an English degree and possibly a concentration. I think all of my highschool English teachers and most or all of my middle school English teachers had English degrees. In kindergarten/elementary school we didn’t have dedicated English teachers but just teachers that taught us everything, so they might have been education majors.</p>