Transferring to 'dream school'

Parents Forum
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<p>My cousin's D has been very happy at a great LAC after being rejected from her first choice dream school as a h.s. senior. She recently applied to said dream school for admission as a transfer and was accepted! </p>

<p>Good news, right? Not exactly. She's torn between her happiness at her current LAC and the draw of the dream school; afraid she'll transfer and regret it. She has really found a super situation at her current school. She is comfortable with her social life and is doing very well academically. Her mother is afraid as well, saying D has built up this 'dream school' in her mind--almost utopia--to the point that no school could live up to the expectation. Mom sees potential problems and is encouraging a visit and an overnight at the dream school. Finding time for the overnight when school year is ending (ie: missing classes so close to finals) so soon may be problematic.</p>

<p>....My cousin is seeking advice from other experienced parents. Wondering if others here have had similar experiences. Seems like very short turn around. She just found out she was accepted this week and must have her deposit in by mid-May. She's confused if she'll get the classes she wants since other students have long since registered for next year and has concerns that she'll get leftover housing. Yet, she is really drawn to this great university!</p>

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<p>If she is happy at her current school, there is no reason to transfer. There's always grad school at the dream school!!</p>

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<p>Bird in the hand vs. a hypothetical two in the bush...That's a tough one.</p>

<p>As my oldest D told my youngest D--of the things that she regrets in life, they have almost always been things that she DIDN'T do. I'd transfer.</p>

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<p>If she can visit - any way at all to make this possible - I highly highly highly recommend it. If she has not done a substantive visit to the "dream" school, she really should, no matter how inconvenient if cost permits it at all.</p>

<p>I definitely know students who had some knowledge of the transfer school, but not in-depth visit (just tour and info session), for whom the transfer school was not a happy choice.</p>

<p>Why leave a school she really likes, a quality school in favor of a possibly meaningless notion of "dream" school?</p>

<p>Re housing and class registration: YMMV but here was the experience of myself (a million years ago) and my son (recent).</p>

<p>Me: housing. Got one of a very very few suites in a great dorm. Class reg I don't remember.
Son: got a good double in a suite (would have loved a single in a suite, but not bad). School's Advising Office helped with registration and he got all classes he wanted even though others had registered way before (prior spring).</p>

<p>So: have the student talk to Admissions re how housing will work and how registration will work. I don't think these should be issues.</p>

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<p>As the parent of a child who did transfer, I cannot imagine transferring from a great school a student truly likes to attend a "dream" school. Don't get me wrong: transferring is right in some situations. My daughter's decision to transfer was the right one. Transferring, however, is not for the faint of heart. You enter an environment in which your peers have already forged strong bonds. In a sense, you are, and remain, the "new kid on the block." My D would say it was a worthwhile tradeoff, but she left an environment in which she was miserable. </p>

<p>I also recommend an overnight visit.</p>

1 Like
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<p>I would definitely visit and research the dream school as a transfer option here on CC. My D transferred this semester as a second semester sophomore. It was the right decision for her and her school is considered "transfer friendly" here on the CC boards. It is difficult to come in after everyone has started bonding and we discussed this before she made her final decision.</p>

<p>Her school requires sophomores to live on campus, so they found space for her and she ended up in the most desirable sophomore dorm with a great roommate. She managed to get classes she needed, maybe not exactly what she wanted when she wanted, but they all meet requirements.</p>

<p>Your cousin also needs to research the credit transfer situation at dream school. My d's school has a reputation for not giving a lot of credit for classes transferred in, but she did very well, but this can make a difference in being able to graduate with your class.</p>

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<p>Thanks for your insight(s). In answer to the Why Transfer if she's happy? question ...She can't seem to get the dream school out of her head, but she is getting nervous about the possibility of leaving her happiness behind. Anybody know a student who went transferred BACK to the original school?</p>

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<p>Yes ... there is a mom who posts whose son went from a California school to UChicago and back to the CA school. My memory fails me. Someone will remember! :)</p>

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<p>Yes, there was a poster on CC a few years back who started at LAC 1, transferred to a University, transferred back to LAC 1 within a few weeks after the semester started, and then, believe it or not, transferred yet again, to LAC 2. If her posts are to be believed (and I think she was credible) it can be done. It made for fascinating reading on CC, but my recommendation: "Don't try this at home." ;)</p>

<p>I can't remember her screen name. Maybe someone else will.</p>

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<p>
[quote]
I can't remember her screen name. Maybe someone else will.

[/quote]

The name is ecape. </p>

<p>I don't think transferring is a good idea in your cousin's D's situation. But if she does, she should definitely take a leave of absence from her current school (instead of withdrawing), so there will be a way for her to come back if she regrets transferring (a very high probability, I think...)</p>

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<p>Yes, ecape. Good memory, nngmm!</p>

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<p>That girl completely drove herself insane with perpetuate "buyer's remorse"...</p>

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<p>"there is a mom who posts whose son went from a California school to UChicago and back to the CA school. My memory fails me. Someone will remember" </p>

<p>That was me. My son could not could not get the idea of U of Chicago out of his mind[ He is a top student, was accepted at Chicago, but we received $00 in financial aid, so for that and other reasons he decided to matriculate at USC on a full tuition scholarship] He reapplied, was accepted, went for 1 qtr and was not happy for a lot of the reasons ,the fast paced qtr system being one as well as a very isolated housing location for transfer students, which made it hard to meet fellow students, so he's back at USC, and is now fully committed there and happy as well.[ He did take a leave of absence from USC, so nothing was lost except 1 semester's scholarship $]</p>

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<p>Looks like a leave of absence is the way to go if your D goes at all. I like the thought that menloparkmom's S can now live his life without being nagged by the U of C monkey on his back.</p>

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<p>^^It is a great relief to all of us!</p>

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<p>I can relate. I transferred to my Dream School. wjb has it right (her D went to my Dream School- scary tradeoff!). To be honest, after I was rejected from Dream School in freshman admissions, I was really, really upset and called the admissions office. Their recommendation? Bring up your GPA and we'll look at you again for transfer. Then I forgot all about it as I went to another school.</p>

<p>I am became pretty miserable and someone asked if I had another school that I wanted to go to in December/January. Then I remembered it and felt all warm and fuzzy just thinking about my campus visit in my junior year- how it felt like home. So I applied for transfer while resolving to make the most of my second semester in case things didn't work out... so that way I'd have things to look forward to in the fall.</p>

<p>By April, I was really settling in and started having a blast. By mid-April, a big, fat envelope came in with my Dream School's name on it. I CRIED! I was so angry with myself, at my Dream School, and my school. How could this happen? </p>

<p>But I did take the time to evaluate everything- my happiness, finances, opportunities (study abroad, credit transfer, social life, etc, etc), and other aspects. I decided to transfer because I had just gone through a crisis with a friiend, and while I could go back to my school, I really needed to get away for a bit. So I took a Leave of Absence and the Dean reminded me that I can always transfer back.</p>

<p>Well, the Dream School turned out to be really good. I had fantastic opportunities in my area of passion and met some really great people. But as wjb said, there's still that feeling of new kid on the block and missing out the freshman year bonding that happens. </p>

<p>I think your D also needs to really think about this in terms of academics and opportunities too, not just the Name or social life that come with it. I'd say that academics and opportunities really outweighed social life that I've had and it's what keeps me going through tough times... feeling that privilege of being here.</p>

<p>So I haven't regretted the transfer. Your D also just really needs to visit the campus again (I did during spring break) and talk to several students, get some reality check. I did and wasn't surprised by anything when I came here. I was cool with it all- only didn't expect course registration to be SO much more difficult in terms of getting in classes!</p>

<p>And don't worry about getting in classes, very often registrars actually set aside open spots for incoming freshmen and transfers during spring registration. So while the cap might be 35, really, only 30 students can sign up and the freshmen and transfers will have to battle for the last 5 spots in September.</p>

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<p>Whew, thanks for posting Menloparkmom ... I couldn't come up with just who it was & I was too lazy to search! I didn't realize that your S had a scholarship & was able to keep it. What a great situation ... he could get the dream school thing out of his system, yet still have a nice scholarship to come back to. I like happy endings.</p>

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<p>The grass always looks greener! Tell her it's time to looked at this logically!
Tell her to make a list of the pros and cons . I've always told my D before you make a monumental decision get all the info you can then there is no regrets! Good Luck!</p>

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<p>I had a friend at Harvard who transferred from Swarthmore. She spent a year at Harvard and then transferred right back to Swarthmore. I don't think she regretted the experience. She'd always have wondered if she should have gone to Harvard otherwise and she went back to Swarthmore with a much greater appreciation of its virtues. I'm not sure she loved Swarthmore as much as your daughter likes her LAC.</p>

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<p>I don't know about "dream school" but I recently asked my D at Brown if she ever knew anyone who transferred OUT of Brown (it is known for happy students and I don't think many transfer out) and she said, yes, she knew one....but that student transferred to another school and after being there for a year, transferred back to Brown. :D</p>