<p>123orange...</p>
<p>I think your reasoning is fine. In fact, it shows that you are someone who cares about other people. However, I would certainly add something about why MIT appeals to you at a school. Maybe say something about MIT's greater variety of upper level course offerings. I don't know. </p>
<p>BTW, did you get accepted to MIT before? If you have, it might be a good idea to mention this.</p>
<p>To both posters planning to transfer, I think your best bet is to try to go for the top grade in your classes. Try to give your professors/advisor something to write on their recommendations.</p>