<p>Hi, fellow parents. My daughter is a freshman at a medium-sized private liberal arts university. She fell in love with the school last year (her senior year in HS) and applied ED. Turns out that the university was a poor choice for her for various reasons, including that she is a minority and this school is not very diverse at all. When she was visiting (several times) senior year, we were told repeatedly that the school's number one strategic initiative was to be more global and increase diversity. I can now see why. Since she moved in, she has heard about, witnessed and been subject to a number of race-based incidents. She is doing well in her classes (A's and B's) but has become disheartened. She called me sobbing yesterday because, for the last more-than-a-month, one or two kids in her foreign language class have been mocking the teacher (who is from China) behind her back, and making racist remarks about Chinese music videos shown to the class. I think she is just fed up and feels it is a hostile environment. </p>
<p>So we are trying to decide how best to support her and what to do. My instinct is to have her finish the last month of the semester (she is earning A's and B's) and bring her home. She can get a job (she has had jobs before) and work, and we can take the time to support her and help her find a college or university that is more diverse and where a brown person doesn't attract attention. Of course, this puts her college schedule behind by a whole semester. But it seems to me that rushing to get a transfer application in to a college or university she hasn't even looked at seems too hasty and would be asking her to make another huge adjustment rather quickly. </p>
<p>In any case, thoughts? Also, how the heck are transfers handled? Do kids just go to the college where they are and tell their advisor they are leaving?</p>
<p>She should speak with her advisor about arranging a Leave of Absence. That will preserve her ability to return if she chooses. </p>
<p>Then she should let her favorite professors know that she will be taking a leave, and find out which of them are prepared to serve as references should she need one for a job or transfer application.</p>
<p>Then both of you should pay a visit to the Transfer Forum, and read through the thread at the top entitled “Transfer Admissions 101”.</p>
<p>If she can find the heart for it, she should also speak with the dean or a counselor there about the hostile behaviors that she has witnessed. Someone needs to let those students that this behavior is unacceptable.</p>
<p>Oh, great idea and great advice. I doubt she will want to return, but that leaves a door open that would otherwise be closed. I appreciate that. In addition, please know she has already reported one incident (her boyfriend was called the “n” word) and will be meeting with the inclusivity office tomorrow about something that happened yesterday. This school has a whole online system where you can report this stuff, which is great, except now I know it signals a need for such a system. I am sure this stuff happens everywhere, but this feels like an inordinate number of things in a short time.</p>
<p>As the parent of two kids who transferred schools, it can be a good thing … In your D’s case, it is difficult to be the trailblazer at a school that is working toward being more diverse. I assume your D would rather be someplace where she is “another student,” rather than feeling out of place. I get that, and there is no reason she should hesitate to leave and seek out a more suitable school. </p>
<p>My D completed her freshman year, even though she knew very early in the year that she wanted to transfer. She couldn’t transfer until fall (the new school didn’t enroll mid-year), and she didn’t want to sit out a semester. She didn’t have the issues your D has, though, so while she didn’t really want to be there, it wasn’t as difficult as it would be for your D should she stay. It sounds like it will be hard enough for your D to get through the semester. She can use her free time next semester applying to new schools for fall. </p>
<p>The suggestion to talk to profs about transferring/needing a recommendation is a good one. My D was a bit shy about letting profs know she would be transferring, but she quickly realized that it’s not that unusual & the profs were fine with it.</p>
<p>Best of luck!</p>