<p>tsdad you said it! Just moved my D in and she wanted to go shopping every day. Her room looks better then my house. My S however will not buy anything, we argue with him to get more and he doesn't want to spend the money even though it is ours. We had to tell my D no more shopping! Amazing they come from the same parents!</p>
<p>Ooooh. The 'boss' sounds tough, monydad. My parents never drove me to university--some 12 hours away. My H's parents never drove him across country, NY to LA. </p>
<p>The first year, our S1 flew the 25 hours by himself. Not the first time he'd flown overseas by himself, but he does have an annoying habit of missing overseas connecting flights. Luckily, he's bright enough to sort out most of his own problems. </p>
<p>S1's gotten to be an airport afficiando. Likes the Singapore airport the best because they have a pool on the roof for layover travellers. This time over, he talked his way into the lounge at American at LAX so he could shower, change into shorts, use the internet and get free food ($50 charge).</p>
<p>My thoughts are that parents who are driving their kids thousands of miles need to realize that they are choosing to do this. There really are other ways.</p>
<p>If the parents want to drive, fine. It can be wonderful bonding time, but no parent should do this if they are resentful because there are other options.</p>
<p>When I went to grad school a few months after college, it was 3,000 miles from home, and was in a state that I had never been to. I had no car and didn't drive. Still, I shipped my stuff out (with no help from Mom and Dad). I called the airport to find out how I could get to my college from the airport, which was about an hour from the college.</p>
<p>I then bought myself a plane ticket with my summer earnings and took off. </p>
<p>When I went to college, I had some friends who had travelled to college completely on their own. This included a guy who had barely been out of his home town. </p>
<p>When I taught college, I also taught some students who took the bus to college, which was about 1,000 miles from their homes. It really can be done. Incidentally, some of these students also were female, which ends the myth that somehow dainty girls can't get to college on their own.</p>
<p>When one moves into a college, there are plenty of other students around who can help unload stuff. That is, as someone suggested, a wonderful way of meeting people -- and learning what it means to be an adult.</p>
<p>I don't see this as much different from my sons going away to summer camp on their own. Older son went several times on his own to a summer camp that was about 1,200 miles from our home. Younger son did the same. One kid was shy, one was not, but both wanted to go to camp, and both handled the traveling fine.</p>
<p>"My parents never drove me to university..."</p>
<p>Neither did my wife's parents. And she resented it. Made her feel terrible, so 'm told, when all these other parents were there helping and she was on her own.</p>
<p>And, bottom line, that's why, all these years later, I just had to drive 26 hours. That, and saving maybe $200.</p>
<p>As for me, I've posted elsewhere how I discarded my dad the second he dropped me at college. I would see no particular reason to go there at all.</p>
<p>My parents never took any of the 7 of us to college or grad school. We all went to grad school (& brother & I went to college) 4-5+ hours away from home by plane. My sisters & one brother went to college in MI & MA, which took several flights & MANY hours to get from HI there. In fact, my parents never came to any of our graduations. We were left to our own devices about how to get to the right airport & from there to our respective schools.
I always packed everything I owned into cardboard cartons & used strapping tape to hold everything together. My worldly posessions for 6 years of college & grad school fit into four cardboard boxes.
None of us expected our parents to accompany us to college or attend our graduations--we were glad to have gotten the privilege of attending schools of our choice and knew it was a considerable financial sacrifice.
Not quite sure how things will work out when my kids go to college (we have never visited the campuses we applied to, but we have toured many campuses with our kids). I guess time will tell. In any case, we have no option of driving to any campus--I guess we could drive once we flew from HI to somewhere on the West Coast, but you know what I mean.
HImom</p>
<p>I resented having to find my own ride and I felt rather pitiful when my 1940's trunk exploded on the limestone stairs of my dormitory--just as two stunning blondes pulled up in red Merc convertibles with Louis Vuitton luggage bulging in the back seats--but once I dumped my gear I was footloose and fancy-free. Parents would have been a drag, though I did have to meet a number of parents from the floor.</p>
<p>Also, I lived next to a top 20 university for a decade as an adult. The move-in/move-out scenes aren't as cuddly as CC parents describe. In fact, I never saw a warm family moment on the threshold of campus. The standard scene is young student walking twenty paces ahead of stodgy parents-- or Mom and Dad sweating and swearing as they unload FAR too much gear out of the U-Haul. </p>
<p>Somewhat comical if you watch it year in, year out.</p>
<p>But far be it from ME to tell the boss how to do things! :)</p>
<p>My kids went to high school on Kauai, so transportation to college has always been a logistical pain ... lots of shipping and storage hassles involved (though pre-9/11 the gate agents in Lihue were known to be lenient with baggage allowance and once cheerfully let us check 11 pieces of luggage between 2 people.) </p>
<p>A few years ago my husband and I both took our son to the mainland for freshman year, several of his classmates were on the same flight. These girls had never been to the mainland and their families could not afford to accompany them. It was quite a scene at the airport as their extended ohana showed up for a send-off that bordered on histrionic. The girls burst into tears when the plane took off and looked like deer in the headlights when we arrived in Portland. Of course they were all confidence and smiles when they arrived home for Xmas vacation.</p>
<p>When I went to college the first time, I took the train -- 1000 miles. Sometimes I traveled by car with friends, a couple of times I traveled by plane. My parents visited (by car) there just once: for my graduation.</p>
<p>Our son's college was just 200 miles from home, and so sometimes we drove him and sometimes he took a train or bus. Never a problem unless he failed to book his own transport on time and we had to go fetch him.</p>
<p>Our daughter's was 750 miles away. We enjoyed making the trip by car or plane for parents weekend or fall drop-off. In a pinch we could drive it in a day (13 hrs.), and did it that way a couple of times. For us it really was a break -- we like being on the hiway.</p>
<p>Of course, if the kids had gone to school much farther from home, they'd be on their own for the toing and froing. But we never wanted to limit their choices of school just because of location.</p>
<p>Yikes...you guys are scaring me. We live in Germany and DS will attend college in the states. We will get him moved in where ever he is for his Freshman year (next school year). After that he is on his own. We are looking at schools within a 6 hour drive of our families so that he has a place to go for short breaks and in case of an emergency. Looks like we better get that kid his driver's license and a car. Jeezzz...and I thought the tuition, room and board, books, computer, printer, bedsheets, etc. would break the bank.</p>
<p>Are there other means of transportation to these families' homes, doddsmom? Probably airplane (although not cheap), but possibly train or bus? One of the things that struck me during my visit to Helsinki this summer is that "driving the car" was a lot further down the list of transportation mode choices than it is here in the US. While they may not be as convenient here, there still are some alternatives that don't have to break the bank.</p>
<p>Hey Mackinaw I took the train to! To Reed right? Except it was 1500 miles for me. 2 suitcases, a trunk, and a bike. It didn't occur to me to have my parents take me or come with me. On the other hand I had great fun taking my daughter the first year. Times change.</p>
<p>Yes times do change. Reed organized a special train car that loaded up Reedies in L.A. (where I'm from), continued on to S.F. and loaded on more. We got to meet many of our classmates during that trip. We arrived on campus, checked into our dorms, and immediately went to the coast for our orientation at Camp Westwind. We had discusions, great folk music, and all. What did I bring? (a) A small foot locker, (b) suitcase, (c) electric typewriter, (d) alarm clock, (e) radio, and the clothes on my back. There's no comparison with what kids take to school these days.</p>
<p>I think our parents as a whole were a lot less involved in the details of our lives then we are in our kids.
My Mom drove me the first yr and then after that I flew alone or used the ride-board at my school. The ride-board was where you could either list a spot in your car or the need of a ride. It was also a great way to go visit friends at other schools for a weekend.</p>
<p>Hey I was delighted that D stored some gear and got her stuff down to manageable size - one car instead of two!! And only one parent had to take her this year. lol. She was much more relaxed about what to take this year than as a freshman. And when she sent photos of her room, she said she had TOO MUCH STUFF! Maybe by next year we will get her on one of those cheapie Southwest flights from Manchester, NH to Philly and forget the car entirely!</p>
<p>Wow, Mackinaw, that Reedie train sounds like the Hogwart's Express. Did you bring your owl?</p>
<p>Great question. We didn't much know about the Doyle Owl then. But we found out after we arrived in Portland.</p>
<p>My daughter flies or drives (without us) to her college 16 hours from home for the breaks and has since she was a freshman and she's a junior now. In fact, she's waiting for her friend from Conn. to pick her up this morning. I think an important factor is how close the nearest airport is and if it has reasonably priced carriers that serve it. My daughter's closest airport is in St. Louis, 45 minutes away and is served by Southwest and Northwest (kind of ironic, since the flight she takes is midwest to the Northeast!) both, of which she has flown for very reasonable prices. Except for her first trip to school and her flight back from Christmas break last year, she's always figured out her own transportation, and not because we asked her to. </p>
<p>The first year it bothered me when she wouldn't have something nailed down, "honey, if you want to fly home, I need to get a ticket NOW." Her, "no, I think I'm going to ride home with Suzy". Me, "Doesn't she live in Virginia?" Her, " Yeah, but she said she could take me home and then we thought we could visit NYC and then she would drive home". We'll see if her younger brother is as independent next year.</p>
<p>mom60:
[quote]
I think our parents as a whole were a lot less involved in the details of our lives then we are in our kids.
[/quote]
</p>
<p>WAY, WAY less!</p>
<p>
[quote]
. . . and is served by Southwest and Northwest (kind of ironic, since the flight she takes is midwest to the Northeast!)
[/quote]
Some of us old-timers remember, however, when Northwest Airlines was named Northwest Orient. This may explain its "eastern" routes.</p>
<p>Don't mean to hijack the thread--but mackinaw's post brought back memories of Alleghany, People's Express, Hughes Airwest, Eastern, TWA . . .</p>