I’m having trouble getting used to the “college life.”
Background: I was an extremely shy kid and scared of talking to people. With the last 3 years of high school I opened up a lot with the people around me. But still I spent my 8 hours at school and then went home. I kept to my family who I am really close with. And I only went out with friends a few times a month. I was content with that.
Going into college last week I invisioned everything would be like all rainbows and sunshine, but it’s been the opposite.
I have gotten teary or cried almost everyday for no real reason. I don’t feel super happy in my dorm but I’m not that sad either. I miss my family a lot but I’m okay.
I have met a ton of people through an on campus ministry and they all seem super nice.
My roommmate is cool but she lives 15 minutes away and has went home for the weekend.
I really wanted to come to this college because it was bigger and had more opportunities, but I feel like I have no friends and I don’t really know how to talk to people. And in high school I was content being a lone in high school, but now I’m in college where everyone seems to have “a person” and I don’t have anyone.
I feel like I’ve kind of gotten duller in the last week (or at least think I have).
I haven’t told my family anything because I don’t want them to freak out and they also really wanted me to come.
Try to be patient, you just got there. Keep putting yourself in situations where you meet people such as your campus ministry. Seek campus counseling because they probably have some programs for helping with this kind of thing as you are certainly not alone in how you feel. Talk to your parents about what you are going through, they are in a good position to offer emotional support.
Do as well as you can academically. Bottom line, you are there for an education. It also keeps options more open should you decide to transfer later. However, from your description, I really believe that you can work through this big transition. Hang in there!
Get involved in the campus ministry where you met some nice people, and any other activities that meet regularly where you can see the same people over and over. Eventually, some of those people will become friends. It just takes time.
Even though it may seem like everyone else already has their social life perfectly arranged, I can assure you that there are plenty of new students going through the same emotions you’re going through. Just hang in there and you’ll be fine. Living away from home is a huge adjustment, but you can definitely adjust.
My daughter is very shy and had less of a social life in high school than you did, but she has managed to make some friends in college. She didn’t become a social butterfly or anything, but in her quiet way she slowly built up her connections and got closer to some select people, to get more personal invites beyond the club gatherings. This summer she completed an internship in another city at a different university, where she didn’t know anyone, and by the end of summer she was sad to leave her new friends there – I can tell that year by year, it is getting easier for her to form connections with people.
Give yourself this chance to develop your social skills away from home. While it can seem challenging at first, you will grow through it all and gain lifelong benefits and confidence along the way.