Trouble being Social...

<p>Ok, so I guess there are a bunch of threads out there about being social and introducing yourself, but I'm shy as hell and I can't do it.</p>

<p>If I had pumped myself up on moving day to be social, I may have done pretty well, but I moved in late and everyone sort of already had those intros dealt with and their circle of friends established. Now I'm a stranger on my floor (I'm don't even know the people living across from me) and I seems really awkward to start intros this late in the game. To make things worse, my roomate is also really quiet.</p>

<p>Put it this way, it's ruining my freshman experience. Everyone else is chatting up storms in our halls and I'm afraid to cut in (and don't tell me it's not weird when someone you don't know joins a conversation between you and a bunch of people you already have established as friends).</p>

<p>*** do I do?</p>

<p>What do you do? You go knock on the door across the hall and introduce yourself, then when you see those students around you can ask them to join you in various activities like eating, sports, movies, or whatever it is you like to do. The groups of people? Well, you can either approach them and introduce yourself with something along the lines of, "Hey, I don't think I've met you guys yet, I live in room ...". You can keep the conversations as long or short as you feel comfortable with. </p>

<p>I used to by shy as well, but once you just start putting yourself out there you'll realize that people won't just say something like, "who are you and why are you talking to me?", most people are friendly and would welcome the opportunity to get to know someone new.</p>

<p>There isn't much anyone else can do to help you, think about the Nike slogan next time you see some people, "Just do it."</p>

<p>I guess just be like, "Hi I just moved in".. carry on from there.. who they are.. what they do.. etc..?</p>

<p>Its still early in the semester so no one would really look at it as weird if that is what you are worried about.</p>

<p>The best piece of advice someone has given me is "keep your door open." People in your hall will come in to your room and say hi. Its a great way to show everyone that you are open and socialable.</p>

<p>i was looking at chocolate cake in the caf the other day and some random girl i had never met came up to me and asked if i wanted to split a slice with her. i said yes and my friends and her friends all sat together and we made new friends. if asking a stranger to split a slice of cake works, then why wouldnt telling your floormates that you just moved in work?</p>

<p>thing is, I've got no one to eat with or talk to in my halls. my roomate is totally silent.</p>

<p>I wouldn't worry about it. Its not like the people you hang out with day one are going to be the kids you hang out with at the end of the year.</p>

<p>"Hi, how you doing? I kinda moved in here later than everyone else, so I haven't met you yet."' ---they'll probably introduce themselves, there ya go.</p>

<p>And another thing, 'shyness' is an illusion, it's nothing that's inborn or predetermined or has to do with your character. Yes, everyone is self-conscious at times, even George Clooney or whoever the hell, it's not some rare or unique disease you have. A lot of ppl are a bit obsessed over the first impression they make in meeting new ppl. Get over it. Yes, some people who are social butterflies or whathaveyou have had more experience talking and meeting people but <em>their skills were all learned.</em></p>

<p>Now I know some psychologists say your ratio of introversion/extroversion has a genetic component but I personally think that is a load of BULL. Or in any case an extremely introverted person can be a very socially skilled person. Everyone shifts from states of introversion (reading, thinking in your head, making plans, homework, listening to music) to extroversion (talking with good buddies or someone you hit it off with). </p>

<p>I've seen countless ppl who call themselves 'shy' and think there is some innate, unfixable problem within them, like they are 'rare' or 'unique' broken human beings. This is not true at all. They say, aw, my parents messed me up/ I come from a strange background/ no one understands me/ I have some weird physical deformity. These are all just excuses you hide behind that really have nothing to do with the problem.</p>

<p>You're as capable as the rest in terms of socialization, hell, you seem pretty intelligent you can probably be well above average with practice. You just need more practice and experience, so forget your ego and dive in there. You'll find it gets easier and easier.</p>

<p>Drink a lot of buzzlite beer beforehand and it'll do the trick.</p>

<p>^^Ok dude, thanks for that.</p>

<p>Its been a little better now, but the main group of people I hang out with now are ns, but not the people I see myself being close to for the next 4 years. pls tell me ppl dont clique up so quickly.</p>

<p>Cliques? Are you going to the local state university? Moreso in this case.
[quote]
but I moved in late and everyone sort of already had those intros dealt with and their circle of friends established.

[/quote]
Hey just like what everyone else says... make the effort and start off. It's the best time right now to make acquaintances... it becomes more difficult as the year progresses. </p>

<p>Convo Starters:
Hello, I'm so-and-so... blahblah -->
Where are you from?
What's your major?
Extracurriculars?
What classes are you taking? </p>

<p>Easy enough?</p>

<p>Just don't be self-conscious. Everybody has the exact same insecurities you do.</p>

<p>Umm, joining random conversations in the hallway is NOT weird. I've done that many times and nobody tried to push me out of the conversation. </p>

<p>Start with a "hey, I'm Joe. What's your name," then you can start talking about school. It usually progresses into something more interesting anyway. Without an introduction, how the hell do you expect to know people?</p>

<p>Whether these friendships will last or not, that does not matter. First of all, you may never have known that the guy 3 rooms down yours would end up being your best friend for life until you actually get to know him. Second, I think the fact that you're too shy means that these conversations should help you break out of your shell rather than make as many friends as quick as you can.</p>

<p>ns? What's that?</p>

<p>Bake something really good, but "accidentally" make too much of it. Knock on their door and be like "Hey, I live across from you all....um, I made these brownies to eat with some friends, but they all went home for the weekend. You all want some?" (or if you live close to home, say your mom made them for you but you don't like nuts in them or something.....whatever. Just don't say that if there aren't any nuts in them....)</p>

<p>^Good one.</p>

<p>I've pretty much come out of that lonely phase by now, but I haven't met anyone that I truly connect with and I can't see myself with these people for the next four years.</p>

<p>I'm surprised no one mentioned this one:</p>

<p>Join clubs!</p>

<p>At least you live on campus,you should try to know more about your roommate and other students on your floor.</p>

<p>Join some clubs or something. Don't worry about not being able to shoot the s--- with those people who aren't including you.</p>