Trouble dealing with stress - doing WAY too much this year

Pre-College Topics High School Life
1

<p>Don't really expect any useful advice, but I've been isolating and stressing myself lately and need to whine to someone</p>

<p>Don't judge what I'm doing or tell me I screwed up.</p>

<p>I started a tutoring service this year to raise some money for charity (providing aid to people in 3rd world countries). and it's consumed my life. basically my day is like this: I go to school, I spend the afternoon advertising or tutoring, I work from 7-10 at my parent's donut shop, then I go home and work on the tutoring service til I fall asleep. It's a pain in the ass to spend all my waking hours worrying about this.</p>

<p>and I wanted so badly to have a social life this year. For most of my life I've isoled myslef within academics, not caring much about developing real relationships. I want to change that but it doesn't seem really possible this year. I spent most of my time at school on schoolwork or building my tutoring service (establishing good PR with principles, teachers and students, advertising, tutoring, etc), I stay in most days during lunch to work some more on this, I spend most afternoons working on this, then I go to work, and get home around 10 and spend hours watching tv or getting on the computer and working on articles and forms.</p>

<p>I know I shouldn't be complaining. Everyone supports my tutoring service and it is slowly expanding (I get calls from parents nearly everyday and have already netted $500 for charity). But I have to deal with so much crap and give up so much. Miracles from God keep on falling from the sky ( $500 from tutoring at another High school, a front page newspaper article, a newly aquired vice president, a scholarship sponsor) and things keep on improving. If things keep on going this way,I may accomplish my goal.</p>

<p>but I've been so lonely and miserable and depressed lately. I don't really hang out with friends anymore, my conversations usually revolve around school or what college I'm going to, I don't have a car so I hired a friend of mine to chauffeur me around, , I probably won't ever get a girlfriend, and I feel like no one understands what's going on in my life or really cares. </p>

<p>I've lost a lot of sleep and have gotten really cranky. The passion for life and God and people I used to have is slowly fading and I feel myself getting angrier and more frustrated everyday. Now that I represent something, I feel I always have to be happy, courteous and kind. I have to deal with unreliable employees (friends) who won't do what I tell them to do or don't understand my vision. Or just dont care enough to try. I have to talk to all the parents that call, answer any questions, and set up all clients with a tutor. I have to be in charge of advertising and make sure it's done right (cuz my reliable friends are too busy and my other friends will either forget or get drunk instead of doing their job).</p>

<p>I have a new vice president and I hired a friend to be a secretary. BUt I feel like I'm still going to have to do a lot (either because no one else can do it or i'm the only one who can do it right)</p>

<p>I'm stretching myself thin as I try to have a social life, do my schoolwork, work at my parent's restaurant, apply to colleges, and run a business at the same time. Sometimes I just want to live a normal life: go party, get a girlfriend, and not give a damn so much about school or some abstract principle.</p>

<p>I crave intimacy so badly</p>

<p>and I hate calculus with a passion (and AP Physics C is no real pleasure either). First class in my life I have ever despised. So tedious, so pointless. Such a waste of time. I'm thinking of dropping it at semester. Would colleges care that much if my creds are really solid (National merit semifinalist, national merit scholar, 2210 on SAT, most rigorous courseload at our school, top 1%, blah blah blah)</p>

<p>dang, I hate that I can't use curse words in this forum.</p>

<p>So anyone who read this must be incredibly disappointed. I have no suicidal tendencies, there is nothing anyone can do to help me, and I just feel incredible ingratitude.</p>

<p>well ciao</p>

2

<p>listen here buddy. You are doign way too much. You are a top student with God-like grades/ stats. but the tutoring service is good and all, but if it something that is killing you and you are complaining about it, it seems you are doing it for college rather than for your passion. Well too late now, seems like you are already far to into yoru tutoring thing and your studies. You got around... 5-8 months until summer vacation. WOrk it out. DOn't complain and just do it. I was a president of my debate club and editor in chief of my school newspaper and boy that was a pain in the ass with people constantly asking me for new leadership positions and in newspaper, reading and editing so many articles it was not even funny and spending 6 hours a day on just the club and the newspaper. I did it and you can too.
All you gotta do is do the best you can and just DO IT, like the Nike commercial. Seriously, what can you do right? You are lucky. There are thousands of kids in America who would give their right arm for your postition right now. You are almost guarenteed in a top school. Be thankful and just do it. I'm sure you could do it.</p>

3

<p>It doesn't have to be for college to be grueling. I put together a pretty big event and I know exactly how you feel. It should get easier, but if it doesn't, you need to set time aside for yourself...even if it's only a night over the weekend. </p>

<p>But seriously I know how you feel...and you'll be glad you did it later.</p>

4

<p>thanks for the pep talk guys. Honestly, half the time I dont really care about anything and I waste my time on the internet or watching tv. I think if I get more efficient, this will be a little bit more bearable</p>

<p>And I didn't start the tutoring service so I could put it on my brag sheet. I did it because I wanted to raise some money for people starving in 3rd world countries. And if I play this right, I might be able to raise a lot of money. </p>

<p>I don't even want to go to an ivy league college (way too expensive). I'm aiming for a small school in texas (southwestern, austin college, etc) where I can get some good scholarships (aiming for a full ride) and still get a good education</p>

<p>still, how do you deal with all the stress? I'm just breaking down and not sure how much more I can handle. And I just feel lonely and sometimes wonder what is the point of it all</p>

<p>but I'll try to just do my job and hope for some freedom once this year is over</p>

5

<p>haha this might sound silly but now that I think about it find somebody to talk to that shares your enthusiasm for the tutoring activity. that doesn't mean they have to do it, but just would be excited about the principle of it, or that a hs student is doing it, etc. This could be friends, teachers, Mom, etc (or all of the above). There's nothing wrong with complaining, but if you get the opportunity to justify your actions with those around you and receive praise for them it might help you realize for yourself how terrific and rare of a thing you are doing.</p>

6

<p>HOw do you deal with stress? Easy. Whenever you have time, go for a job, go to the movies, go to sleep, eat nachos, whatever you enjoy.
Trust me, everyone feels lonely. To get over lonliness is to the get over the idea that you are lonely. People care for you and I highly doubt you do not have any friend. People do care about you. </p>

<p>Back in the days of Junior year hell, what i did to get over stress was to workout, jog, watch a movie.... ALONE!!! trust me it works, read books, play games, meet with friends, and used to be heavly involved in debating. I call my debate team and used to have debates on ideas and we used to have the losing team to buy pizza. DO that! </p>

<p>Book I read was that helped me relieve stress was:
Gifted Hand- Ben Carson
Think Big - Ben Carson
Catcher in the Rye- J.D Salinger
Grapes of Wrath- Steinbeck
Old man and the sea- hemingway</p>

<p>movies and tv shows-
Pay it Forward
I am sam
Saving Private Ryan
School of Rock
Family Guy</p>

<p>I think you get the point. relax!!!!</p>

7

<p>stambliark41, the sad part is, I talk to everyone about this. Teachers, principles, and counselors love that I'm doing it and praise me continually. I try to baske in that and allow it to cheer me up, but it usually doesn't work.</p>

<p>and I talk to a few frienda bout it too. I guess theay are more of a springboard than anything else. And since I've thought so much about it (and they have not) , I don't really exciting conversations</p>

<p>though I just met this other chinese guy who goes to another high school in town. He's majoring in business and is pretty excited about the tutoring service. He has great business acumen and I think he's willing to put a lot of itme and effort into this.</p>

<p>rExRuN467, thanks. All really common sense huh? I'm kinda awkward socially though and have a hard time hanging out with friends (especially with my 7-10 job and no car). and I get really bored or frantic when I'm alone and usually just surf the web or watch tv.</p>

<p>Gifted Hands by Ben Carson rocked though.</p>

8

<p>hey, i am envious about your fantastic tutoring service and all that hard work and effort you have/are putt/putting in!</p>

<p>Umm this may sound silly but I think you should just keep doing your stuff. I must sound like your teachers and councelors but i think karma will strike you and good karmawill come your way. I say, keep going with this and hopefully, you'll make it, and hopefully, you'll get a full ride to your dream school!</p>

<p>(umm but don't burnout..)</p>

9

<p>thanks </p>

<p>10 characters</p>

10

<p>how about stop workiing at your parents shop?</p>

<p>as for the tutoring service, you're a good person for doing it. idealistic to the extreme, but good. we need more people like you. i believe in karma like many of us. you reap what you sow. you get what you give. you are giving out so much. it will come back to you. good luck.</p>

11

<p>It seems silly to me that you are giving all your money you make to charity... its very gracious, but seems pretty impractical, and I doubt you will stay with it too long. I think you need to take in some money for yourself, and give a majority of the revenue to charity. Make it a real business.</p>

<p>Anyways, as for time management, thats what you need, better time management. Find helpers to help you do things for your business that is tedious and that anyone can do, but takes too much of your time. While other people do that type of tedious stuff, you can concentrate on running your business and doing the important things. Hey maybe you end up not even tutoring yourself, and instead hire other kids to do the tutoring (unless you already do that).</p>

<p>Also prioritize your tasks, you dont need to get everything done in one day, spread it out throughout the week. Working from 2-7pm is a bit too much, PLUS working at your parent's doughnut shop! Thats a real problem there. You need some breathing time, and not to mention time for your schoolwork (leave friends for the weekends). </p>

<p>You know what is the best book I can suggest to you? "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People" by Stephen R. Covey. Read that book.</p>

<p>Then my final advice is to better manage your tutoring service, hire other people, and only spend time doing the necessary things for your tutoring business. I also suggest dropping your help at the doughnut shop, unless you limit it only to the weekends or 1 or 2 days a week. Also, don't work at all on the charity on weekends, your closed for the weekends, spend weekends with family and friends. And finally, why dont you just make your tutoring business a business and keep some money for yourself? Maybe keep 25% and send the other 75% to third world countries. This is a stronger motivator, plus it undermines the money reason for going to help your parents at the doughnut shop.</p>

<p>Good Luck!</p>

12

<p>I can empathize... people think I have a perfect life (2400 + 3*800 + 10 APs of 5 + natl awards all over the place) but that's not the case. Perhaps it will help you to know that there are many others who also struggle to achieve something great. I agree that it's so difficult sometimes to maintain this outward demeanor of perfection while on the inside stuff is eating you up; you should definately have the right to vent. But being able to stay optimistic is a trait that is as important as your generosity and charity towards the 3rd world countries. Don't neglect yourself! If your work is something you really believe in, then it'd have to be an act of God to stop you from your goal. Cheers and good luck!</p>