<p>The title kind of explains it. Let me describe myself. I am an 18 year old black man of nigerian descent. I was born in Nigeria but grew up mostly in Sugar Land, Houston, Texas. I am notoriously shy. I have been since I can remember. Once I entered SMU I promised myself I would open up. In the first week, I have introduced myself to random people and have attempted to stir up conversations. But nothing came out of it. I have made no connections with people. The first thing family & friends have told me to do to solve this problem is to find friends through your roommate. I tried that, my roommate is cool and we have common interests but we're not really friends. Just roommates. I have hung out with him and his friends at parties. But thats not really my scene. I have joined clubs, but Its really the same environment as classroom in my opinion. It's just hard for me to walk to class alone, eat alone, and stay in my dorm all day. I've tried, I've done things I have never done. I thought there would be some progress. But there hasn't been. I just want to know if someone who has been in the same position as I have can help me. I need it. </p>
<p>P.S. This isn't racial thing. I mentioned me being black, b/c I have had thoughts that is why haven't made connections. SMU is predominately white and many of the students including my roommate come from predominately white cities, so perhaps that has something to do with it. But I hope not. I had friends of different races, cultures, & religions back home. And I always try to see beyond that.</p>
<p>My youngest, very shy son switched high schools half way through his junior year.
By then all the groups were formed and he felt very isolated. It took time and perserverence, but he really wanted to be at this new school so he made it work.
Joining a service club got him integrated very quickly, they were desperate for help and embraced his participation. He also volunteered to work on the newsletter for another club. He had to briefly interview the club members for little blurbs for a monthly column.
So it wasn’t just “joining” clubs, but actually getting involved that made the difference.</p>
<p>And don’t stay in your dorm all day! SMU wanted you for what you have brought with you! Share it!
Good luck!</p>
<p>bleachfan1989, I too was in similar situation as you are right now and it took some perseverance to finally find my feet. My suggestions for you are to find ways to participates in the clubs that you have joined on campus. Get in touch with the leaders of the clubs and explain predicament to them and that you would want to actively participates in some of the activities. They are always looking for willing participants.
Also your RAs will be other resource. I would encourage you to link up with them. Again be upfront with your shyness and that you rather they work with you in adjusting to your new environment.
One other resource is the mentorship program in SMU. Again you would need to be up front with your mentor. Find ways to connect with him or her. Meet with your mentor as frequently as he or she can make time for you.
Don’t give up, just persevere and don’t stay in your room all the time. Rather spend more time in areas where students congregate - like the lounges. Use the resources you have on the campus, like SAMSA to assist you in getting a better grip of campus life. Try and stay away from the party scene which as you mentioned is not your thing.
You seem to be a bright, eloquent young man in one of the prestigious colleges in the nation.
Best of luck</p>
<p>bleachfan, what is “your scene?” What do you like to do with your time? What are your hobbies? When you were in high school, what did you do for fun and how did you get to know your friends there on a level that made you comfortable?</p>
<p>well chicken2. I am a low key, simple guy. I usually spend time watching tv online, or listening to music. I have met people who like the some of the same shows as I but I cant carry a conversation based solely on television shows. Hobbies: Eating, Watching TV, Listening to music, and hanging out with friends. In high school I did the same thing, but I hung out with friends. Well the friends I made in high school we had some things in common and that was the “base” and we built up on that.</p>