<p>Momofonly-your story made me laugh. My D would do the same. As my D last night freaked out about the ants in her bedroom and what should she do. In reality it was Mom come and do something for me. I wonder how she will survive in college when she doesn't have Mom or Dad to call to fix each little problem. She is by nature an impatient person.
She did manage to travel last summer in India with a group where she had lots of independence and she did fine. Sometimes I think we would do well to step back and have her do more on her own.</p>
<p>My eyebrow twitched when talking to my D last night on the way back from a party for Smith prospects. I forget how it came up but she said that for the kinds of things she wants to do for a career she needs to be able to mingle, chat people up, etc. and she kinda throws herself into it. I was a little surprised (but why should I be?) that she was looking so far ahead and had such a thoughtful outlook. As I've remarked before, she's that rare thing, a talkative introvert.</p>
<p>haha, thedad - I am a talkative introvert as well. it's the best of both worlds..</p>
<p>our family are all introverts, my older daughter and I can "pass" for extroverts if the situation demands it, but we are surly afterwards. We definitely meet the definition of getting energy from being alone rather than from with other people.
Since lack of & /or desire for social gifts doesn't interfere with breeding, I imagine there are many more of us than we suspect. I like being around people but I need downtime and I really hate crowds that I have to interact with. A baseball game or concert is great, but an auction or other sort of function where I "have" to talk to a lot of people and be pleasant, takes a lot of energy. My older daughter likes being at a small college where she can lead a few things and know just about everyone on campus, but there is also something to be said for hiding out in the crowd if not the classroom.</p>
<p>you should check out the lion/otter/beaver/golden retriever personality types. it's great, and a lot of times the websites give you tips/information for how to get along with people of another type.</p>
<p>Fendergirl - you ain't seen nothing yet until you've met TheDad's D. :) (Said with tons of affection for my separated-before-birth sis, of course!)</p>
<p>Hi. I'm not a parent, so perhaps I don't belong here. I just finished my first semester at a top LAC, so I thought I'd share my experience... For me, it was a wonderful time.</p>
<p>I definitely agree with a lot of what's been said. Having two awesome roommates definitely made things really fun and comfortable from the start. I will say that in the first couple weeks, I was slightly put off by them and saw them as perhaps not exactly my type, but we've really come to be great friends. We definitely don't always hang out together or always go out together, but we love one another and know that we can count on one another any time. It's great to have roommates as friends because you then get to know so many more people as you all become friends with the friends of one another. We're the girls who always keep our door open, welcome anyone in with open arms, and invite people to stay, chat, and get to know us. I think that my best advice in terms of roommates would be to be willing to overlook stuff--whether it have to do with guy, annoying habits, etc. Even though there are certain things that annoy me about each of them (and I'm sure they feel the same about me), kindness goes so far.... Editing each other's papers, sharing food, buying stuff for someone if they're sick, being willing to listen anytime, going with each other to the hospital, etc. etc.</p>
<p>The other thing that I think has made a big difference for me has been getting involved--perhaps too much so. Before I went to college, I wasn't really into politics. I happened to stop by a meeting of the College Democrats during orientation, and, before I knew it, I ended up spending about 25-30 hours a week working with them in the months before the election. Even though that's a lot of time, I definitely don't regret it at all. Because of that experience, I made a lot of great upperclass friends, got practice at speaking to groups and being a leader, etc., etc. I've also had a great time with three or four different service groups on campus, an activism group, etc... Through each of these activities, I've met a lot of people with whom I've come to be friends. I'm not saying everyone needs to be part of a lot of different organizations, but finding people with whom you have stuff in common and joining their group can be great.</p>
<p>I think that college really does provide an incredible number of opportunities for fun, for rewarding experiences, and for friendship. If you stay in your room waiting for those to come to you, however, it's unlikely that they will.</p>
<p>aries - haha, i'd love to meet/talk with her. i love meeting new people :P</p>
<p>peace - isn't it funny how much work was put into college democrats clubs! I spent time every day handing out information, helping with things on campus.. we were in the local paper, on TV, all sorts of things.. There was barely anybody representing the college republicans on campus, but we had fun with those that were. we got together with them to watch the debates, taking turns buying pizza for the group. we also did a mock debate with them live on TV.</p>
<p>Mom60,</p>
<p>LOL about the ants...I had to climb up on a file cabinet the other night and then jump down to the floor to get a spider that was freaking my daughter out. I told her that this was all backwards...I'm 50 and she's 17 and she's the one that should be jumping all over the place!</p>
<p>We have several friends who are college professors. They have long maintained that most kids are NOT ready to go away to college. Most kids grades fall, they are homesick, some have eating/drinking/drug issues that may have or have not been there before but are magnified by going away to college. (These people teach at a variety of prestigious and average schools.) To a person they say that the best students are the returnees, those who are older, may have dropped out and decided to come back, or even...perish the thought...went to community colleges. What happened to their kids? Some went to the schools that were in the neighborhood: UCLA, USC, Cal, or UNLV. One went east, had a challenging time. The ones who stayed closer to home seemed to do the best. This is a sampling of 7 or so of our friends, so that it for what it is.</p>
<p>To answer the original question -- my daugher had a really rough first semester but sailed through high school without a problem. People always described her as well-adjusted. There was no way I could have predicted how unhappy she would be the first semester. I still don't completely understand it. As I just posted under another thread, I think there were lots of reasons why. She moved across the country and went from a public high school in a huge school district to an Ivy League environment so there was a lot of culture shock and she was homesick for her friends as well as for us. None of her friends from high school went with her to college -- I think just having one good friend would have eased the transition. She was in a particularly intense program for freshman at the school she is at, she had some health issues and had to take medication that made her sick, and she was really miserable. She had gone away from home lots of times without us and had always seemed the independent sort -- I was really taken by surprise. But quite frankly, if I had to leave everyone I know behind and move across the country by myself and start an intense academic program, I think I'd have some trouble too. I think it's more surprising when kids don't have adjustment issues than when they do, at least if they go far from home. When she came home for Christmas she indicated she didn't want to go back. But she did go back and she decided to transfer out of the program she was in and take a solid load of courses. In the last few weeks she has made a complete turnaround -- she says she is happy, she's getting involved in all kind of things and she's glad she's there. I think making an adult decision had a lot to do with it. She really wanted my husband and I to decide for her and we told her we would not but we would support whatever decision she made regarding her courses. I think she made a decision for the right reasons and that the payoff has been huge. Of course, I can't be certain she will continue to be happy, but she seems much more like the well-adjusted girl she was in high school. I'm hugely relieved because it really could have gone the other way.</p>