@DadUndaunted , I think that you’re pretty much on target. The initial bar is set high. Those who clear it are then evaluated. If it comes to legacy vs. non-legacy in the highly screened pool, the legacy status may tip it. Otherwise, no. Our experience is only anecdotal, but DS was in the lower end of that 25-75% bracket at a school at which he was a strong legacy (as in both parents and other family members) and he was rejected. I suspect that had he been at the upper end (or in the top 25%), the result may have been different.
But in keeping with the other observations from above, his school tends not to do well with that college overall. It visits every year, but has admitted very few students. There are a handful like this – as well as a handful that seem to love the kids from his school. In the case of the latter, they seem to have similar values/educational philosophies, so perhaps have found these kids to be good additions to their communities. So hard to say.
Years ago, I was told by an adcom that one of the key things they look for in an application is consistency. For a high school student, this may be self-knowledge (as revealed through the common app essay.) So some of those “surprise” admits may be kids who told an interesting story, maybe even of being the kid who is on the swim team but isn’t the fastest in his event/loves singing in the chorus but isn’t a soloist/etc., particularly if the positive attributes of being such a person are echoed in the recs. I have to admit, I cringe when I see posts here on CC about kids trying to create the perfect resume for a college application. While it helps to be strategic on some fronts, I tend to think that being true to yourself – and showing who that person in – has to be key.
@Lindagaf A few years ago I went to a building dedication at Harvard. Word went around that some alum had given $20 million and the building was to be named after him. Alas, another donor came in and gave $25 million and was given naming rights. The guy who gave the original $20 million had the library in the building named after him. He must have been really bummed.
@DadUndaunted, I could change my name to MomUndaunted because, with the exception of a few key stats, and the fact that I have a son who passed on using his ED chit on the one school where he had a hook (my alma mater, which I bet is the same as yours!), my experience was identical. Great post.
When your child attends a private HS, there’s a good chance that Naviance will reveal limited information (accepted/waitlisted/denied, but no score information) because the school doesn’t want you to figure out who the actual students were reporting. We saw a 50% admit rate for the SLAC where my son applied ED, but only after he got rejected did we figure out that a lot of those admits were athletes and legacies themselves. There are two separate applicant pools to most elite schools, and I only wish my son’s college counselor had actually explained that to him. I think if he’d realized his chances were more like 25%, he might have skipped the ED app.
Still, like you, we’ve no regrets. There are worse “thanks for playing” prizes than a full scholarship at a less selective school.
Also, FWIW, a huge number of his classmates are admitted every year to my alma mater–many of them with hooks (legacies, athletes, URMs, or children of faculty). The vast majority have excellent stats. There are always a few unhooked kids who get in purely on merit as well. I think, all in all, that Ivy does a very good job with admissions.
Tufts syndrome is supposedly rejecting students you think are shoe-ins at better schools. I’ve seen no signs of that. What I do see is that Vanderbilt cares much more about stats than Tufts does. Tufts is really, really interested in fit. They are looking for engaged students who want to be world citizens. If you don’t figure that out and convey that message in your application, they are likely to think you will be happier elsewhere. They are more willing to take a chance on a kid who doesn’t have quite a perfect record, but has other qualities that come out in the application. If you really want to go to Harvard and just apply to Tufts as a safety and dial in your application, you will be rejected.
My double-legacy at Harvard niece graduated 3rd in her class (top 1%), but her scores weren’t as high as my son’s who was 8th (top 2%). He got in, she didn’t. They had different interests and activities, but I was surprised she didn’t even get waitlisted. My kid was at the very top of the Naviance data at his school. My other double legacy kid didn’t get in with a 2140, but his grades and subject tests scores and activities all meant that we were not surprised at all.
It is very natural to get attached to the idea to get admission in such selective colleges for the kids that age. Can anyone shade some light on - how the parents helped the kids move from the idea of getting admission the select ones to the ones where they got admissions? What thought process from the parents and/or kids made the transition less rough?
There was no process, at least for my D. It was just here is where you are accepted. No point dwelling on the denials. The waitlists are the tricky ones.
Although my son took his wait-lists as rejections even though he accepted a place at both of his. He really wanted to move on.
And I think a lot of it depends on your kid, @collegeandi. And how YOU respond. We approached it as we approach most disappointments in life: “I’m so sorry you’re disappointed. It’s too bad, but you have lots of other great options. Let’s go visit a few you’re on the fence about.” And DON’T dwell on the denials. I’ve seen too many parents dwell on the rejections and how “unfair” it all is. Just as we all did when our kids were toddlers, we need to model appropriate behavior. If you need to rant, better to do it here and NOT in front of your child.
“Life is full of disappointments. Get used to it. Better to have experienced it earlier rather than later. Be gracious towards your classmates who had better outcomes than you. You all have bright futures”.
What @Lindagaf and @LucieTheLakie said … or, put differently, the secret to happiness in this process is managing expectations. Well-curated list and keeping it real.
So acceptances were either pleasant reassurances (for likelies) or happy surprises (for targets/reaches). And rejections? Shrug, expected, moving right along. (OK, there was one RD rejection from a target school that threw me a little, but by that point the kid had a bunch of EA likelies in hand … and thankfully a few more acceptances to come.)
Of course, it helps that that’s how my kid rolls anyway. It will probably be harder for my youngest. But we’ll be careful with her list and expectations too.
And yes on not dwelling. I have family members who are, a year later, still going on about how unfair it was that their kid didn’t get in to X and Y and she had to settle for honors college at a well respected state flagship. That can’t possibly be helping her move on.
@citymama9
Totally agree with your comment regarding the high school you attend. While it still is hard to get inti HYP from any school, it certainly looks like certain high schools give your app a boost at many selective colleges
I had mentioned I would update this post when my D made a decision about which college to attend. She ended up having a bit of a wild ride, getting off two wait lists. One was at the match school that WLed her, and they offered merit aid which was very surprising. She turned it down and paid the deposit at the college she liked the best, then forgot all about her other WLs. Very sensible, because hoping to get off WL is a mug’s game.
Fast forward to three weeks ago: she gets an email offering her a place at one of her original top choice colleges. The catch: we are leaving for vacation abroad in two days time. She really likes the college she has deposited at. The plane ticket home for Thanksgiving has been purchased. She spends a rather indecisive 48 hours mulling her options, and decides to go for it. She notifies the college she deposited at that she will no longer be attending, along with the reason why, and puts down her deposit at Top Choice College. Classes have been chosen and she is looking forward to starting at the end of August.
I think the “anonymous” ship sailed, but perhaps more … “generic”? Again, thank you so much for this. I’ve already referred more than one person to this thread, and will again as the topic comes up.
Again, thank you so much for this. I’ve already referred more than one person to this thread, and will again as the topic comes up.