<p>My daughter is in the fortunate position of being on track to be a National Merit Finalist. At a young age we promised her a public college education in our state, but now we are looking at some additional schools. She could go to a public school that does not offer merit awards, spend her college fund, and be done. Or she could take a merit award and save her college funds for graduate school.</p>
<p>She seems to be setting her eyes on a very highly ranked private school that might or might not accept her. On top of that, we have zero calculated financial need, and the school is known for giving some merit aid, but not a lot. If she were accepted to the high-ranked school, she would need to get enough merit money so that the cost of a public education plus the merit money at the private school has the same net cost as a public education. Based on everything I've read about the school, it is not likely to turn out that way.</p>
<p>I've reminded her that if she is accepted to the private school, we might not be able to afford it, and she would have to decline the offer. I've also mentioned that there would be no money left for graduate school, and that there would probably not be a semester overseas due to the expense.</p>
<p>As you can see, I'm trying to lead my daughter down the obvious path of accepting a merit award, enjoying her college time with a semester of travel, having the money to have fun in college, and still have enough left for graduate school.</p>
<p>Any suggestions on how I can help her see the light?</p>
<p>New York University? (fits the profile of a popular “dream school” that is expensive with poor need-based aid but a few large merit scholarships)</p>
<p>NMF does get big scholarships at some fine schools, including Texas A&M.</p>
<p>As a student (not a parent), I chose a cheaper public university rather than the private school I had wanted to go to because it had greater resources, and it was a very difficulty decision for me.</p>
<p>I’d say there are a lot of factors to consider.
What major/career is your daughter considering? For example, graduate school plans vary depending on career. And, sadly, some fields are more prestige-oriented than others, while other fields are less prestige-oriented.</p>
<p>Furthermore, I think it would be alright if your daughter took up to 10k in loans if she really, really wishes to go to that private school (if accepted, which is a big “if”!), and if that school really is a better “fit” for her.</p>
<p>Any suggestions on how I can help her see the light? </p>
<p>If you are saying you “might not be able to afford it” , that leaves the door open to false hope. I suggest you let her know that you WILL not be able to afford it. It is better for her to face the reality of what you can and cant pay before her applications are sent out, rather than breaking the bad news to her after acceptances roll in.</p>
<p>Adding $10,000 per year to those prices (which the student could possibly cover with Stafford loans and decent summer job earnings, though the latter is not guaranteed) would not get anywhere near the very expensive private universities that are over $50,000 per year unless large merit scholarships came.</p>
<p>But yes, majors and careers are an important consideration.</p>
<p>Yes, agree with #4. Make sure that she knows your contribution limit, and that she has only a limited about of student loan borrowing capacity beyond that. Do you plan to give some incentive in that if she chooses an under-budget school, the leftover money is available for graduate or professional school or study abroad or other academic activity?</p>
<p>As a parent of a kid with high SAT scores who has just gone through the process, I can tell you that it is very hard to tell your kid that they have to go to University of Texas (or in my case, University of Florida) if they get into a higher ranked school.</p>
<p>A year out, my wife initially took your point of view. I initially took your kid’s point of view.</p>
<p>By the day of decision, however, we had totally switched positions, with me now in favor of the state school and she (and my son) now in favor of the more expensive school.</p>
<p>We wound up going with the expensive school, even though we can’t afford it.</p>
<p>Your kid only lives once, and if they get into a top school, you want them to reach their highest potential. To tell a kid that they can spend the money on an expensive graduate school FOUR YEARS from now will probably not cut it with them. Four years to a kid seems like 100 years.</p>
<p>However, that being said, this is a very personal decision, and basically EVERY family, not only NMF families, have to make the decision between a private school and a public school.</p>
<p>I would not fret over this too much yet. You will see where she gets in, and then make the decision at that time.</p>
<p>Perhaps you can make an agreement with her that if she gets into an Ivy, you will go that route, but if the choice comes down to a Texas state university and “only” a Vanderbilt or an Emory, that you would go with the state university.</p>
<p>We’ve always been crystal clear with our daughter. Our college budget is the equivalent of an in-state education. So if she goes to a private school with very little merit money, her funds available are: cost of an in-state public education + merit money = amount available. I agree that a small amount of debt would be OK. But I can’t see any wisdom in taking a large amount of debt at any school when a very good public education is available through either NMF money or our college fund.</p>
<p>We were always looking at Texas A&M, but it looks even better with NMF.</p>
<p>UCBalumnus: Yes, if money is leftover after undergraduate school, the money will go towards grad school, and my daughter knows that. I believe that she is motivated to shoot for graduate school, but of course that could change over the next four years.</p>
<p>by “grad school” you mean Law, Medicine or Business or a Masters in some area, yes? Because if she is interested in getting a PhD instead, it will cost you nothing. In fact she would be paid to get her PhD program [ if she is accepted into a well funded program, that is.]
Food for thought…</p>
<p>I think you need to quantify and compare specifics. The cost difference between the tuition at a State University and a private even without merit aid may or may not be a deal breaker. How much are we talking about here? </p>
<p>The quality of education – and subsequent career opportunities – between a State University or a private may or may not be substantially different. It really depends on the schools, the majors and the programs. </p>
<p>This situation is a tough decision for many families, but try to make decisions based on the real choices not abstractions.</p>
<p>Without knowing the schools in question, it’s really impossible to say. Sometimes schools that “don’t give a lot” of merit aid, wind up giving a lot. You are not applying ED so, you and she need to reserve judgement. Let your D apply to wide range of schools. As long as you are all clear on the amount you can spend, what’s the problem. I would also say that grad school is a long way away. If you have the funds to spend on education, I’m not sure I’d hold back assuming grad school.</p>
<p>There are a number of schools that give significant amounts for NMF. Fordham for example. I would be sure you have located and vetted all of them. D can do very well in the merit sweepstakes and should obviously take full advantage of that.</p>
<p>My daughter was a NMF with great stats, I think my best advice is play the admissions/merit money lottery, pick 6- 10 schools and see how it works out. Also, try not to say too much, your daughter’s ideas about college will probably change many times this year and you might find you like her final choice. Hopefully, you will be invited to some scholarship weekends and honors days, these events can influence you both in ways you never imagine. One of both our top choices really turned us off with their scholarship weekend. We could hardly believe our opinion changed so much until she finally talked to some other kids who also disliked the weekend. She just finished an amazing freshman year at a school I had previous doubts about and my opinion of it has skyrocketed. Her scholarship included study abroad money so she studying in Paris this summer. You just can’t know how it will all work out, yet!</p>
<p>If you have about $100k budgeted for college ($25k per year), then simply state that:</p>
<p>1) You must apply to some schools that you LIKE that will fit that budget.</p>
<p>2) You must apply to some schools that you LIKE that will give you merit so that the cost will be below budget.</p>
<p>3) Once you’ve done #1 and #2, you can apply to 2-3 other pricey schools and see what happens. If a pricey school ends up fitting the budget ($25k from us, $5k in loans for you), then fine. If not, you’ll go to a school from #1 or #2. </p>
<p>Encourage some visits to some more affordable schools, she may be surprised to learn that she’ll really like them.</p>
<p>BTW…if your D has med or law school in her future, it really is a good idea to have some college funds to use for that so she won’t have to borrow much at that time.</p>
<p>I agree that its a little early to worry about funding grad school, which would be a master’s. Even without grad school, to me the difference is scraping by financially at a private school and taking out loans, vs. taking an NMF award and enjoying a semester overseas, maybe an internship, etc. </p>
<p>So far my plan is to let her apply to the private school and any other reach schools she wants.</p>
<p>She will also apply to at least three (maybe more) schools where she will easily be admitted and receive a very good NMF deal.</p>
<p>The prestige level at the private school is very high compared to the public/NMF schools that we are looking at. I totally get why she wants to go to the private school, and if money were no object and she were admitted I would send her without hesitation.</p>
<p>So we’ll see what happens. Application season is going to be interesting at my house!</p>