Avoiding any personal details, my parents really want me going to a particular university that I absolutely despise and want nothing to do with. My father has expressed his plans to fully fund me in college and I don’t want to pass up that opportunity, especially considering I don’t know what I’ll do if I have student loans. So I talked to him about how I would need to have backup plans in case I’m rejected and he basically said that if I’m accepted to this school, he will only fund me to attend that school, and if I’m rejected, I have the choice of where I want to go and he’ll still fund me. Is there anything I can do to ensure my rejection? I’m a pretty good student and have taken a good amount of advanced classes- so I worry my transcript could get me in alone (it has a 50 percent acceptance rate). Could I just write a really bad essay/ not report all my extracurriculars?
In one of your essays, write the name of another college instead of the one you’re applying to. Just a suggestion, but I’m sure admissions officers will see that as a major red flag.
You can only borrow ~$5500/year, so you can’t fund the colleges you want on your own. What’s the school your parents want you to attend? Does your dad know that NYU costs $72k/year? Has he said he’s willing to pay that?
There was recently an episode of The Goldburgs about this. Backfired.
Tell your father “thanks for the offer, but I’m not going to State U.” You’ll need to accept that he may not be bluffing and will not pay for another school. He’ll need to accept that you aren’t applying to that school. Is that a risk you are willing to take?
Don’t deceive your dad.
Have a talk with him. Explain why you don’t want to go to that school and why you want the schools you want.
Have a reasonable conversation between two adults.
However if, say, the child wants to attend tOSU and Dad supports UMichigan, it may not be a “reasonable” conversation. On the other hand, if it’s “I want to attend NYU but my dad wants me to attend Michigan at instate costs” it’s another conversation altogether.
So, talk to both your parents about their BUDGET.
If you don’t get into the university your dad wants you to go to and which he has money for, can you assume he’ll have the same amount for another university? Will he have more than that amount for another university or only that amount?
Have you run the NPC on the university your dad wants you to attend, as well as other universities that interest you?
Can you defend logically why the “other” university is a better fit for your personality and ambitions than “Dad’s U”?
In most cases, the parent’s willing to pay the same amount for another university, not “anything whatever university costs” - so what universities will work beside “Dad’s University”?
THAT’s what you need to find out before you plot anything.
BTW, very few parents can afford NYU so I really hope that’s not the school you’re aiming for.
@MYOS1634, Schools OP is interested include “UC schools, NYU, UW, Wisconsin-Madison, DC schools, and schools on both the East and West Coast.” I have a suspicion that she’s OOS for the public schools and the privates may cost more than her parents are willing to pay. I think she needs to find out what her budget is.
@Carmaddie, You posted this a couple weeks ago. You can only borrow ~$5500/year, so you can’t “make it work” at some of these colleges unless your parents are willing to pay ~$65k/year. Ask them what your budget is.
With a 50% acceptance rate, it doesn’t sound overwhelmingly selective. Why does your dad want this school? Is it affordable? Why don’t you like it?
It’s really not affordable (I’m not mentioning the name in fear that alumni may get defensive) and in fact is similar in cost to the UC schools (which I’ve decided I won’t be applying to anymore regardless)- like I said, I know he can afford it. I’ve done my research on it and I don’t think its the right fit for me at all, considering the campus, location, academics, and programs offered, my parents just want me going there because that’s where they attended when the major I want isn’t even that well-known there.
@Carmaddie Despising a college is pretty extreme. You have clearly tried to talk to your parents. You have made it clear that you don’t want to go right? Many kids don’t get to choose a college. Usually because of money. You just get what you get and don’t get upset. It’ll be a short four years and then you can fund your own grad school.
“I know my parents can afford it” is very different from “my parents told me they’re willing to pay”. VERY different.
So, have the budget discussion now.
All in all, it’s very likely your parents will give you a budget that matches the costs of your parents’ alma mater. If you don’t want to go there, find schools that are within that budget range - so, run the NPC’s to have an idea of costs for your situation (family’s income and assets, your own stats).
NYU is unlikely to stay on the list, so start looking for affordable schools (typically those would be instate publics, private colleges where your stats place you in the top 25%, and universities with clear scholarship guidelines where you are above the guidelines for competitive scholarships or meet the guidelines for automatic scholarships).
Sorry, but “I know he can afford it” simply rubs me the wrong way. So does a plot to get around your dad’s very generous offer to PAY FOR YOUR COLLEGE, albeit with some strings attached.
It’s his money. He has no moral or legal obligation to write you a check to the school of your choice.
Just curious…how did NYU enter this thread? I feel like I’ve missed something?
And this isn’t clear:
“It’s really not affordable… like I said, I know he can afford it.”
Be mature about this. And you can name a college without making alums angry, if you avoid emotional words like despise. Most colleges have so much variety, it’s hard to reject them outright.
It looks like NYU and the UCs are some of the targets but that will be very pricey. Not sure OP has the stats for them either. This could actually backfire by getting rejected from the schools that you are targeting, sabotaging your midrange option and ending up somewhere worse. Has your SAT gone up considerably?
School X “isn’t well known for my major”" – Kids often have a very skewed idea of what School X is known for (often based on college marketing budgets!) and even if a school is not “well known” for that major among your friends or on College Confidential, that does not mean that the major is not a solid program at that school. Schools can be good at more than one thing. A school with a 50% acceptance rate almost certainly is.
Your parents are being heavy handed, and it’s natural to want to rebel against that, but you need to realize that getting 50,000 to spend on college is something many kids would kill to have. You need to come to an agreement with your parents about your college list and plans that you both can live with.
Do you know what your EFC is? Will your parents pay it?
Hello everyone, I am back level-headed and here to acknowledge some of your concerns. I’m hoping to go to UT Austin (in-state) or University of Washington (OOS)- both of which I’ve discussed as viable back-up plans with my father. I am no longer applying to NYU, Georgetown, or any UC school (I looked into them all and realized it was just wishful thinking) so let’s please not mention those schools anymore in this thread because I understand that they are expensive and very selective.
I believe that I need to readdress some things. Both UW and UT Austin will come out to cheaper than my dad’s dream school. Not to mention, he directly said to me he will pay for my back-up plan school (either of the two schools previously mentioned), but only if I am rejected from his dream school- I apologize for not making that clear. I also apologize for seeming ungrateful for his offer.
I do not despise the school- that was a bad choice of words. I’ve looked into the programs at this school and do not wish to attend there because of many factors- all of which come from their website and also a visit my dad facilitated, where I talked with students and asked many questions and formulated my own opinion. I feel that I would be much better off in my major with UT-Austin and University of Washington.
If it boils down to it, I suppose maybe I will just attend there to not have to worry about student loans but I don’t want to be unhappy.
All I was asking for was some ways I could make my application less competitive (he is forcing me to apply there)- which seems immature now that I’ve thought about it, but in my perspective it seemed strange that he would pay for other schools only if that school was not an option. Sorry if I have offended any of you by my post.
Best regards,
op (Madilyn)
What is your new SAT score? UT is likely a reach for you. Are you applying to some safety schools?
If the college has a 50% acceptance rate they likely pay little attention to the essay.
I’ve seen this happen when parents put to much pressure on kids to attend a specific school. The kids always seemed to find a way to write a sufficiently off-putting essay to avoid acceptance. The more serious issue was that it appeared to be indicative of a certain tone-deafness on the part of the parent that tended not to bode well for the relationship