<p>How do you do it?????</p>
<p>are you talking abouut a guy? </p>
<p>if you are i must say it sucks sometimes to have to be the guy and continually put yourself out there for girls and them just turn you down.</p>
<p>anyways back to the point, you kinda need to give more information, and i would differently go with the (i see you as a friend, or not looking for anything right now)</p>
<p>well the thing is, i'm really NOT looking for anything right now. and this guy keeps hinting at asking me out and i just change the subject before he gets a chance. He's really nice, but we don't have much in common. plus its our senior year and we're going completely opposite ways....i'm going to college and hes joining the air force.</p>
<p>Okay, DO NOT LEAD THEM ON! Don't just like, change the subject when they're about to ask you out...guys do not understand signals like girls do, so this will probably only delay the inevitable. Just stop him midway and be like, I dont ever want our relationship to change, and I think dating woudl do that.</p>
<p>talk to them about other boys. :)</p>
<p>quasarqueen, thats the worse thing to do, it will leave him heartbroken.</p>
<p>Let him ask you out and then tell him you're really not looking for a relationship. Tell him that if something happened and you really started to like each other then it would make it that much harder to go off to college. Tell him you just want to be friends and if your friendship continues to grow, then something may happen. But you guys are just going two completely different directions in your life.</p>
<p>Or you can just have fun now....and let the relationship end on its own since you are going separate ways...</p>
<p>I mean its high school....the guy should have the sense to know that relationships in HS usually don't last "forever" anyways...</p>
<p>^ Yeah, I was going to say the same thing... Unless you truly don't like him in that way, what's the harm in having a little summer fling? It could actually be kind of liberating- you can just have fun together for the summer and then come fall you'll just naturally go your separate ways. (And if he's just started hinting things NOW, at the end of your senior year, that's probably all he's looking for anyway.)</p>
<p>...I dont like him in that way.</p>
<p>I'd tell you to be blunt and say you're not looking for a relationship but even that fails sometimes...</p>
<p>Here's my story:</p>
<p>I had just gotten to know a girl through one of my other girl friends. She was a freshman, I was a senior. My one buddy and I were hanging out with some folks from another school and he and one of the girls were hitting it off. However, he missed the last few digits of her number and had nothing to write it down on. So he was all depressed. Me and two of my other buddies are trying to tell him it's not the end of the world. So we sit down in the bleachers at the game and sort of go separate ways to hang out with people we hadn't seen yet. I sat down to chat with the aforementioned freshman girl. She then noticed my dejected buddy and asked me if he was all right. I told her what had happened. She goes over to him and says that everything will be fine and that maybe a relationship isn't the best thing for him right now--it will come in time. She also said that she wants to stay single for a while so she can concentrate on her academics--this girl is an honors student but like me gets sidetracked by things sometimes--the same reason I stayed single during high school.</p>
<p>Anyway, my buddy and her had never met before and even after she said she's not looking he starts to initiate conversations as if he wants her. He invited her to hang out with all of us on Monday before school, got her phone number, and put her name in his AIM profile with a little smiley face next to it. When I saw this I shook my head and banged it against the keyboard.</p>
<p>Sure enough she comes over to hang out with us that morning but instead spends most of her time talking to my friend who introduced her to me. The next day she spends time with me and two of my other buddies--not The Guy. He's getting a bit sad by this point. So he makes a blunt effort to be in front of her on Wednesday. On Thursday she spends her time talking with me. Not too long after that she asked me if my buddy is always creepy with women. Me and some of my buddies had even told him what NOT to do after failing in relationships with several other girls.</p>
<p>The summer after my buddy and I somehow brought her up in discussion and I'm like "she's so nice" and he's like "yeah, I thought so too". We ended it there--I take it she blew him off completely. I never saw them talking to each other again after that week she hung out with us although I became pretty close friends with her. </p>
<p>Girls can be almost the same way. In eighth grade I got these notes from a seventh grader whom I did not know at the time (but one of my buddies did--he was the relay guy) asking me out. I sort of used the silence method to reject at the time--keep in mind this was before 14 year olds had cell phones (2001) so notes were still the "in" thing. I didn't even know who she was so how could I accept her offer anyway? The notes died off when the summer came yet my buddy told me that she had a crush on me her entire eighth grade year despite me not even being in the same building as her. Another mutual friend confirmed this.</p>
<p>Epilogue to this story: The same guy who had the girl problem that I mentioned earlier asked her out during my sophomore year and she got to know me. We also became close friends and it wasn't until last summer that we even talked about the crush fiasco from 2001. Nowadays we sort of laugh about it, especially because we would have never had our friendship if it had happened and had undoubtably gone the way of every middle school love scenario.</p>
<p>I think I missed the point of that story ^</p>
<p>Why don't you just say no? I hate it when people beat around the bush when it comes to things like this.</p>
<p>Don't be rude and bring the whole "just friends" deal, and be honest about it. If you don't wanna be friends with him don't say "just friends", if you do, go for it.</p>
<p>If you reject us (guys) straight up, it will definitely leave us heartbroken..</p>
<p>
[quote]
If you reject us (guys) straight up, it will definitely leave us heartbroken..
[/quote]
</p>
<p>Yes, AMEN!! We have bigger hearts than girls though it might not seem like it on the outside.</p>
<p>note: previous posters are pussies and not indicative of real guys</p>
<p>just say no. please. don't say you're busy (unless you actually are), dont change the subject, dont say you'll think about it (unless you actually will), don't beat around the bush. we can handle a no, and if we (referring to those other guys) can't, then it's a good lesson for us anyway. if you don't want to give a reason, you don't have to, just straight up no thanks will do just fine. if the guy's feelings are hurt, it's at least better than leading him on for ages just to bring him down even harder later on. don't give little "hints" that you wouldn't like to go out with them, we'll probably miss them. no is the correct answer.
:)</p>
<p>But I WANT to be his friend and I hate that there's this awkwardness between us. Will that ever go away? AAAAAAAAA it's so irritating. WHY CAN'T WE ALL JUST BE ASEXUAL???? WHY?????????? that would solve all these stupid problems. then everyone could just be friends with anyone they want to despite the 'oh i cant hang out with him because Jill likes him and she'll be jealous' or 'I think he likes me but I'm not sure so I won't hang out with him because he might figure it out' or 'OMG, like, I just met this guy and he' like, so hot and like, we're totally in love, and like.....<em>three minutes later</em> OMG, he like totally slept with amy and I dont know what to do I loved him so much WAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!' see? asexuality. that would solve everything. GAH i dont want to say 'lets just be friends' so should I just say 'I'm sorry, I just don't like you that way." ??? That sounds so horrible. I would be heartbroken if a guy i liked said that to me. What about 'We're going our seperate ways this fall and I don't want to get into a relationship that means something to me and then have to leave it behind.' ? Is that ok? Because it's true, but it's just not the WHOLE truth.</p>
<p>The whole point of human life is to be reproductive beings...guys and girls are both looking for the partner which can give them children. atleast thats what my psychology teachers saids all the time...</p>
<p>as to just saying we're going our seperate ways, it could work or if he is one of those persistant guys he'll try to make it work, meaning he'll try and find a way around it. So you have to judge-is he a guy that understands no, or is he the problem solver which will say but we have summer together.</p>
<p>Just say something like "Hey, I am really flattered, but we are going seperate ways this summer. I believe it is better to enjoy our time as we always had (as friends) cuz I dont want to leave a relationship back at home. I kinda want to start a new beginning at college, but we can still keep in touch. You are a nice, funny(or whatever) guy, who will make any girl dream to have a guy like you one day." Or something along those line or just say "no"..its easier :)</p>
<p>Thats i would say if i was a girl( I tried to add a feminie thing to it but...).........Oh yeah, I kinda use the same line when girls, who I like only as friends, ask me out.. It is better to let a girl know right now then "lead" her on all the time. When I was younger, I lead girls on all the time but now I just let them know :p.</p>
<p>To all those ppl who says date the dude...Dont do that if you do like him that way</p>
<p>Thats my opinion and Hope I helped</p>
<p>Jeeze, don't be panzies guys. I agree with ProcrastiNate.</p>
<p>And the awkwardness is temporary.</p>
<p>ok. thanks a bunch you guys! I'm gonna talk to him about it, but I have a feeling it will be the last time we talk. :(</p>