Hi, in advance this is going to be really long (in order to fully explain the situation) but overall I’m kinda looking for advice and possibly anyone who can offer comfort through saying “hey, this was me but it’s all good now”
So I’m a freshman at a small-medium sized school and I’ve always had friends. Like in high school I met my best friend right off the bat and by graduation I had a great group that did everything together. I’m initially a little bit shy but am super fun and outgoing and like to have a good time once I’m comfortable.
Anyways, we had a super long orientation and one that included a four day small group outing. I cliqued super well with everyone on that trip and made some great friends. However, half of them were varsity athletes (I’m not). Bringing it back to campus, I got in a triple with two fairly weird girls who are just not my type of people and are ones I’d never be friends with. They aren’t social like I am and don’t go out and we just run with different crowds. I came to find that this was the case with all the rest of the freshman on the floor. Most are in singles and are on the quieter, more studious side. It quickly came out that this was really the case with most of the other year students on the floor. All very reserved loner types who requested an isolated single (our building has many). Furthermore, our building is kinda constructed separate from the others in the residential college so we’re isolated overall. Suffice to say, I made no good friends in my building, none of them were my kinda person.
After the crazy blur of orientation, I expected to find my friends through classes and extracurriculars. Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case with classes and my extacurriculars started really late. It quickly became apparent that varsity athletes basically already have a friend group through their sport; they’re super close here and just automatically do everything together. My closest friend from my orientation trip had her team, so as great as she is, she’s inherently got a group, plus she lives in a res college super far from mine. I went through a strange couple of first weeks kinda jumping around with who I got meals with and went out with on weekends and this resulted in some awkward and bad situations like getting stuck with groups I wasn’t really a part of and then getting left behind when they were on party lists I wasn’t on (basically I walked back to my dorm through campus alone at night while slightly drunk, which I know is super dangerous and something I shouldn’t have done but I had no one). I figured I’d make some friends of my own and this kinda situation would end.
However, flash forward to now (end of october) and I’m incredibly depressed. I literally have no one and I don’t even know how I got to this position and how this much time has gone by. Through social media and in person I’m seeing all these groups and friendships and a lot of them were established from being athletes or from living situations. Like a lot of the friends I see resulted from either roommates or same floors, so I somehow filled out something weird in my rooming form that I got put in this weird building with no one I relate to. I’m very aware of more social dorms nearby with lots of my kinds of people and I know if I had gotten in those dorms the current situation would not at all be the case so I just got extremely unlucky. Anyway, I’m awkwardly eating alone all the time and haven’t done anything the past couple of weekends because I have no one to do things with. We just had our big halloween night and I just stayed in. I have never been in this type of situation and just don’t even know how to meet new people when everyone I feel like I’d be friends with is already in a routine of who they do everything with and has been forming these strong friendships for two months. I’ve never been this incredibly unhappy, I’m starting to care less about the quality of my school work and can barely focus when I do it because all I can think about is how unhappy I am. I’ve called my mom and cried to her (I never even use to be that close to her and rarely ever cried) several times in the past week because I just have nowhere else to turn. I ended up meeting with the director of student life for my res college, basically broke down in front of him, and discussed a room change so I can get to a more social place and have a new beginning. However, it seems nothing is currently available. I just don’t know what to do. EVERYONE seems to have someone and I somehow have no one. I’m just incredibly upset and all I want is to go home (not an option because I like rather far away). People are friendly but it seems no one is open to making good, lets hang out type friends anymore because they already found theirs. I just don’t know how to break into any of these groups and don’t even have the opportunity to try at this point. I also probably now look like a weird loner to the type of people I would have normally been friends with.
Honestly I’ve just never ever been in a situation like this and am incredibly depressed and needed to get it out. It’s okay if no one reads this and/or responds, I just needed to type it all out I guess.
