<p>Firstly, this should be in the college essay section.
Secondly, sorry, but I agree with shua. This essay is, in the kindest of words, vague and predictable. Actually, it shows you in a pretty bad light. It shows that you are a working robot (who has no life) because you care for the results of your work and want to artificially challenge yourself with AP’s. There is no real passion or ambition in there, except for the passion to succeed (which practically most everyone one this board has). I see nothing from this essay that distinguishes you from the other applicants who have also worked hard to achieve success.
You can try to come up with another idea and write another essay (UC likes things outside the box), but it’s too late for that now. I hope your other essays are better than this one. This is probably not what you wanted to hear, so I apologize.</p>