<p>The prompt that asks you to describe your world and how it has contributed to your dreams/aspirations.</p>
<p>I dont know if my essay answers the prompt perfectly.</p>
<p>In my essay I said that my culture is my world… and that my culture led to my fasination with diversity and unique traditions… and ultimatleyto my dream of becoming an international doctor.</p>
<p>My Q is whether or not it is okay to have my culture/fasination with culture represent my world.</p>
<p>Please help with my dilema.
Thank you
wf909</p>
<p>I have a kind of related Q: my D made two attempts to write that "describe yor world" essay: the first one was somewhat "beaten up" path of the story about being the little immigrant raised in "two worlds" of American and her own ethnic cultures, having to watch more of her native country's cartoons than the Disney's ones ;), balancing both cultures in her mind, becoming truly bilingual and bicultural, which led her to apprecciate other languages and cultures as well as the people who do not fit into any cultural mainstream. ;)</p>
<p>Another one - which she put more of her heart into - had become about one particular aspect of her family's culture, one particular family activity she has had the fondest memories of. Somehow, she also tried to tie it to her current interests (music and languages), telling how much that activity influenced them. </p>
<p>While she likes her "second attempt" essay better, she and I are a little bit worried whether it does fit the prompt. </p>
<p>Her first essay is more of a standard one and might be written by nearly any bilingual immigrant kid;) of any ethnic origin (if only with different cultural details); but it more obviously (as in "literally") corresponds with the prompt.</p>
<p>What would UC adcoms apprecciate more: the closer prompt-relatedness or the originality? Do they particularly care about "artful" writing style (she did it better on the second one)? Or do they want more of the factual information (which the first one contains more of)?</p>
<p>If those essays would be for some private institution, I would "vote" for her second essay without hesitation. But I wonder if UCs have the similar or different criteria ...</p>
<p>Carolyn, a counselor from another forum said not to beat around the bush on your UC essay. Here is the info:</p>
<p>
[quote]
The UC readers are looking for clear and to the point. They don't assign comp review points for big words; they don't especially care about some big creative build-up. In fact, most of the UC readers I've talked to have said they prefer when students cut to the chase and answer the prompt as directly as possible because it's easier for them to determine if the student deserves comprehensive review points. </p>
<p>So, my advice is to spend a bit more time thinking about the prompt -- what EXACTLY is the personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution that is most important to you to convey to a UC reader and how does it relate to the person you are? Then write your answer in as direct a manner as possible. Don't waste words on unnecessary scene-setting. Just answer the prompt.</p>
<p>This advice doesn't necessarily hold for essays for other schools, especially privates, who often appreciate a bit of well-done creativity (emphasis should always be on the WELL-DONE -- if you're not sure it's well done, the straight approach is almost always a better choice). Although keep in mind that if you were an admissions officer at a private school reading your 20th essay of the day, you'd probably appreciate clarity, directness, and an easy to understand point just like the UC readers do.