hi please look over my essay and feel free to give me all the constructive criticism you can! im not quite done with it so if it sounds abrupt at the end it’s because i haven’t finished it yet. but this is just to know if i am going down the right path or if it’s too broad, cliche, etc. also i have no problem w ppl being blunt and straight up, just don’t let any extreme subjectivity cloud your judgment. thank you 
(P#1) describe the world you come from — for example, your family, community or school — and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.
lmk if you’d like to read and give feedback so i can pm it to you