UC Personal Statement. Need Feedback Now Please!!!

<p>Prompt: Describe the world you come from — for example, your family, community or school — and tell us how has your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.</p>

<p>Screaming, yelling, violence is the picture that is painted through my eyes. I can hear my parents screaming once again about the same things every day. My brother, sister and I, have our ears glued to the door trying to hear what they are saying. My parent’s voice once soothing, is now just voices that I try to block out, but I cannot, it is just too loud. It all began in the summer of 2003, when I almost lost my father to Meningitis, an occurrence that eventually put my father on disability for life, making my mother the sole income our household. Before this I guess you could say we were the average happy American family. But, they began to argue more and more as time passed about everything from money to sex, the word divorce became a common word in their vocabulary. I hear something break, I think to myself I wonder what it is, and I wondered why they cannot grow up and talk like adults. I think back to September of 2007; the month my father abandoned my home; they day I felt my happy family had dilapidated. I remember getting home form a volleyball game; getting the news from my brother, running my parent’s room only to find all of his things missing. I remember being at school and all I could think about was when my father was coming home because I knew he would come home, he always came back. I would yearn for his presence, but learned to cope with his absence. I wanted him home because he was my father but at the same time his desertion brought me peace; I no longer had to deal with all the arguing I could now just focus in school and my future. I hear it again another yell about how there is never enough money to support our household. I think to myself of the day may father returned home. I remember thinking we were finally going to become the happy family that we once were, but to my disappointment I was wrong; the arguing between my father and mother just resumed. I then became more involved in extracurricular activities such as volleyball, Link Crew, and AVID. I enjoyed making a difference in my school and community through sports, clubs, and community service. These involvements not only allowed me to help others, but they helped divert my mind, even for a limited amount of time, from thinking about family issues. In contract to living on pins and needles at home, my activities at school brought me joy, happiness, and satisfaction. At school I felt like I belonged somewhere; that there was a place where I could leave everything and think of more than just my parents. I look at my brother and sister and see their tears roll down their face. It has been half an hour and my parents are still at it. I look at my siblings and tell them that it is never going to end. Their arguments are everlasting like the river that goes to the sea; they would never understand how their disputes affected us more than it did them and that maybe a divorce would be best for everyone. Today I have a great ambition to have a career for myself, to make something better of my life and not fall in the trap of relationships and controversy. I want to make an infinite footprint on the lives of others; make a difference through law. This can only happen if I pursue a higher education and continue with my persistence and determination to always be more than is expected from me.</p>