<p>Can you revise my Personal Statement for UC'S PROMPT #1 ?
How did your world shape your dreams and aspirations?
PLEASE GIVE ME SOME FEEDBACK</p>
<p>Prompt #1 University of California
Ever since I was little, my parents taught me to be a respectful and honest to be persistent in everything I wanted to accomplish. I was raised in a Christian family that has always been really devoted to the religion and we had always been involved in church. I was involved in the youth group of the church, the church band, and many other activities. I was raised in Mexicali, Mexico. A city next to the U.S border. I spent most of my life in Mexicali, to be precise; I lived nine years in Mexico with my father Luis, my mother Patricia, and my sister Michelle. I went to elementary school up to the second semester of tenth grade.
I had many dreams and aspirations such as being a doctor, an engineer, and a famous guitar player but I really didnt think about the process that I had to go through in order to reach those goals and accomplish everything I wanted to do. I had that mentality that until tenth grade, when I actually started to think about my future and the profession I wanted to pursue. I never stopped thinking about my future so I decided that moving to the United States and live with my aunts was the best thing I could do in order to achieve those dreams that I had already set. I thought If I stay here in Mexico I wont be successful, I am not saying that in Mexico people are not successful or anything , but it is a struggle to find jobs.
Moving to California was a new adventure, a new life, a new starting point but I was aware that it would take a lot of dedication and effort to achieve what I wanted. When I started school at John F. Kennedy High School, I really struggled to adapt to the new schedule and to the language. After one semester in John F Kennedy, my aunts decided to move me from John F. Kennedy High School to the Valley Academy of Arts and Sciences which was a new school that had opened one year before. The first week of school was tough but then I started to hang out with new people and started to make friends. I really enjoyed the company of my friends.
Although I was very happy that I had already adapted to the American Life, I clearly didnt know what I really wanted to be in life. Before I moved to California I concluded that graduating from college and getting a good job was what I wanted, however, my way of thinking changed and I decided that I would become an individual that would change the community I would live in and I would use my profession to better the world. One person that has inspired me to strive to success is my dad. Although neither mother or father live with me, every time my father calls me from Mexico he says Luis, dont give up on your dreams without even trying and remember that money is not everything in life , his words always make me feel like he always has my back even when feel discouraged.
My dream is to become an individual that uses his profession as a tool to improve the community, whether its a small thing like starting a movement in my neighborhood or its a organization that raises money to help people with low income to get an education. I believe if I am persistent in everything I do and I follow my fathers advice I could make a great change in the community.</p>