UC Prompt 1 - I want some help on whether I have adressed the prompt

<p>UC prompt 1 - Describe the world you come from and how it has shaped your dreams and aspirations</p>

<p>This is my first draft. My main concern is more on whether the content is suitable and does it address the prompt? ( Describe the world you come from - and how it has shaped your dreams and aspirations ) </p>

<p>I read a comment on the internet from a former admissions officer saying : While it is important for you to define your environment, you should NOT use your personal statement to describe your family, school or community.</p>

<p>I recommend approaching the first prompt by figuring out what your environment is, what your dreams/aspirations are, and what you have done in the context of your environment to achieve those dreams/aspirations.</p>

<p>Your environment can have physical boundaries (for example, your bedroom, the church prayer room, or the community center) or mental boundaries (for example, your upbringing or cultural tradition). Another way to think about your environment is by imagining yourself as a fish; are you in a fishbowl, a stream, a pond, or an ocean?</p>

<p>Your dreams and aspirations can be broad or specific; perhaps you aspire to help people (broad) or maybe your dream is to be a TB specialist serving with Doctor Without Borders in Somalia (specific). Either way, you should discuss how your achievements (academic and/or extracurricular, within the context of your environment) have helped you move toward achieving that dream/aspiration. You also want to consider talking about how you plan to continue these achievements in college.</p>

<p>Whatever you choose to discuss in this prompt, remember the main focus should be on YOU; what you have accomplished, what your goals are for the future, and why you will succeed (in life and/or in college).</p>

<p>Have i done that? I don't know, can someone help me out? BTW the major i plan to take is economics.</p>

<p>I will PM the essay. If possible, to people who have had experience with the UC essay. = ) Please and Thank you!</p>

<p>0.0 this is really freaky because I did the exact opposite and totally focus on my family/environment in my essay</p>

<p>Okay, so how did that work out for you?</p>

<p>Well, I am working on my own statement for this Prompt and this is very good advice. I think the admissions officer is trying to elaborate on how one should respond to the prompt in a way the reader (admission officers) will get to know the author, or YOU. </p>

<p>What the admissions officer meant by not describing your world means if you do so, make sure it answers the implied question of “so what?”. Otherwise the reader can’t really learn much about you if you talk about too many things without developing them or things that aren’t really related to you.</p>