<p>It all happened in a Tae-Kwon Do tournament in South Dakota. I was elected to go with the top fighters from my country. I was happy as I could ever be. The tournament started and we were doing great. My match came and I rapidly went to the stage. I was nervous from all the audience cheering but I was ready, my mind was set on winning and nothing only.
One minute from the match I landed a kick to the opponents head that got him to the floor, as he struggled to get up everybody in the arena started yelling at me to keep beating him but I froze, and thought. There I have this guy who I dont even know laying on the floor helplessly and Im supposed to hit him? It sounded to cruel to me. I stood there asking myself what do I get from making harm to others? I had no answer, and my subconscious acted before I even knew it, I grabbed the opponents hand and helped him get up. It wasnt what my coaches wanted but it felt better than winning and I couldnt regret it.
After the tournament I realized Tae-kwon Do wasnt for me, it wasnt easy letting go after several years training but I didnt felt the joy hitting people just for fun. Besides shaping my values and my self-discipline, Tae-Kwon Do changed how I see life and how I live it. I have now a humbler perspective where I do my best to help each and everyone who surrounds me. Ive seen that making harm to others doesnt get you anywhere it just makes other people hate on you. Approaching people with open arms and willing to help them opens new doors in life and new opportunities. Im proud of the decision I took because even if my coaches and the audience were yelling at me to keep hitting him I did what I felt was right, and maybe if all the people in the world do what they feel is right and ignore the pressure society puts on your decisions, the world may be a better place after all.</p>
<p>you go from talking to whats going on and then start talking in a story format pick one… as well as ur hook is weak in needs improvement. u have some great points but u lack at some points</p>
<p>I can sorta see where you are going with this, but i think you need to bridge your hook more with how your experience changed you. You’re doing good so far though!</p>