<p>Ok, so how is everyone doing on your essays? I was hoping we could get a thread where we could give each other advice and all that on the personal statement process. Anyone finished? Anyone started?</p>
<p>i had mine done in august. looking to make it better soon.</p>
<p>Should be done with it by this weekend.</p>
<p>AHHH Personal statements are about as fun as giving birth.</p>
<p>So I talked to a bunch of admissions folks and they basically all said the same thing: be different. They're tired of reading about people who were "so impacted by their trip to Brazil", or how incredibly multicultural they are, or how their father's alcoholism made them a better person. I paraphrsed an email I recieved from an adm. officer from UCB:</p>
<p>"...We like to read about students with ambition. UC Berkeley wants students who are going somewhere and want to accomplish things. We also want to know why you chose your major and what you're passionate about. But most of all, answer the question. Nothing bothers an admissions officer more than a personal statement that doesn't clearly answer the question. "</p>
<p>Hope this helps, guys.</p>
<p>Oh, and PS. For the UC app, is anyone stuck on "what can I contribute"?</p>
<p>Hopefully I'll finish by this weekend. I have a lot to do!!!</p>
<p>NinaBanina, I'm stuck on that very quetion. What is your topic? I'm clueless as to what to talk about. I was thinking maybe explaining certains chracteristic traits that I use in a hobby of mine and applying that to school. We will see.</p>
<p>Which adm. officer was that from?</p>
<p>Hey peeps,</p>
<p>Nikkei: I actually wrote about a foundation I've been wanting to start to eliminate illiteracy, I thought i could incorporate this with my enthusiasm and leadership skills etc etc. For some reason I can't figure out how that actually contributes to the UC campus, but keep writing and I'm sure we'll get there,</p>
<p>Gabe: That was an officer from the UCB campus. he actually deals mostly with engineering students, but he said the admissions process it almost virtually the same with all majors. He also mentioned that students tend to be overly confident in their essays, he said to leave room for "humbleness".</p>
<p>"Nikkei: I actually wrote about a foundation I've been wanting to start to eliminate illiteracy, I thought i could incorporate this with my enthusiasm and leadership skills etc etc. For some reason I can't figure out how that actually contributes to the UC campus, but keep writing and I'm sure we'll get there,"</p>
<p>Nina, i'm sorry to interject, but I have this feeling that you're going to regret writing about that particular topic. Ambition is a great thing, yes; drive and motivation matter. But initiative shows a great deal more to that effect then to simply say i will- for example, actually STARTING the foundation. if somehow you were to explain how ONLY attending a certain campus would grant you admission i'd think that it might help, but then again the uc app is all-encompassing. my 2 cents.</p>
<p>Hey guys, I've been swamped by midterms lately, it's tough to find time to produce thoughtful personal statements. I have 2 solid answers to 2/3 questions so far that I've brainstormed but haven't put the pieces together yet. However, I'm also having trouble with the what can I contribute essay, my open ended essay focus would probably work as it brings out aspects of enthusiasm, leadership and ambition. Do UC's care more about answering the first 2 questions well or do they weight all 3 evenly? Any suggestions for an alternative open ended focus? Do you think it's ok to talk about failures or struggles in high school and how you changed? I'm thinking it might be too cliche or just brings up negative aspects which should be avoided. Input please? Thanks.</p>
<p>ForeverYoung--If you talk about qualities like enthusiasm, leadership and ambition, it seems like that could certainly be put into Question #2 rather than 3.</p>
<p>Just do your best to avoid cliches--be specific, but also be 'real.'</p>
<p>zemookmook-I think you raise a great point. BUT, it should also be known that as transfers we are not expected to have accomplished HUGE GOALS yet. Those of us with great ambition have great, wide-reaching goals. </p>
<p>So yes, it's good to discuss some of the accomplishments I think, as they pertain to attaining future goals, but it's ok to speak about your aspirations and focus on them.</p>
<p>And of course, for those who really don't have many accomplishments under their belt to speak of, it would serve them to focus on ambition.</p>
<p>I'm basically finished. Just polishing.</p>
<p>sorry editing my post: if somehow you were to explain how ONLY attending a certain campus would grant you the ability to start that same foundation, that would be appealing.</p>
<p>gabe, you're right, that is true. but my point also extended to the effect that if she were to focus on some sort of accomplishment, she should stick with one that means something to her that she already HAS accomplished. For example, becoming the national hot dog eating champion of your state is actually quite a feat; not many people know the time and effort that is required for competitive eating. one very famous competitive eater, Sandra Thomas, enters multiple competitions and practices relentlessly because she loves the sport-she is also 102 lbs (I believe). </p>
<p>So, it's understandable that the majority of transfers wont have an accomplishment of extraordinary magnitude that's widely accepted as a difficult feat, which halfway rules out the importance on the uniqueness of the accomplishment; it could become more about the uniqueness of the accomplishment to the individual. personally, i think that the competitive eating thing could make for a really damn compelling extracurric. essay.</p>
<p>zemookmook, I agree with you on that point you made about writing a compelling essay on competitive eating. It's unique and most of all it will stand out. I wish I had something like that but unfortunately I don't.</p>
<p>could losing a large amount of weight from motivation and ambition be something to write under question 2</p>
<p>While I wish I was the national hot dog eating champion of my state, I find myself to be quite ordinairy.</p>
<p>Are my mother's family stories and how they made me realize my part in the bigger picture of not just my family but the world a unique essay?</p>
<p>Maybe not.</p>
<p>nikkei, as i stated, it truely comes down to the types of accomplishments you believe to be most representative of your character. once you figure that out, the essay will bring out your voice on its own.(and probably a lot more after editing).</p>
<p>sandkicks, yes, if you spin it well and you're witty enough to pull it off. if you're unsure how witty you are, forget about it. unless, of course, you're talking about losing 300 lbs-which is approximately the same type of recovery that a cancer patient would go through (no joke).</p>
<p>yogurtcup, same case- i believe that any story can truely have the type of weight necessary to carry an essay to the top of the ********* pile, but it cant just be a trite: "this happened, i had an epiphany, now i want to go to x college." it shouldn't leave adcoms hanging, but it should really really make them want to get to know you more. after all, an essay is only an extension of one's work and capabilities. it's kind of like eating a box of delicious cookies-once you try one, you want to try more. the essay is dangling a cookie in front of thier faces, allowing them to sample, and have them salivating afterward for more.</p>
<p>i think that this is the best type of attitude with which to approach the essay; every student has the ability to show character in the essay, IRRESPECTIVE of the topic. when writing UC essays, your work will be reviewed by multiple adcoms. therefore, you dont want to make it campus-specific, but you want to make yourself unique amongst the tens of thousands of those who apply to the programs. this is especially key when applying to the more selective programs, because in a pool of few applicants, the individuals stand out more when thier 'voice' speaks louder then thier peers; whereas with a much larger pool, your essay will differentiate itself from the rest and be put into a different pile based sincerely on your level of ability to convey an image. </p>
<p>i may be rambling, but its late, and i have an accounting midterm tommorow.</p>
<p>OoooKAY here we go:</p>
<p>haha given that I am only 17 years of age (early graduate from high school) I cannot legally be a founder nor a chairperson of ANY foundation until the day I turn 18. I have every little piece of paperwork filed and ready to turn in on my birthday (may 8th). Sorry for mentioning that, guys. I didn't know specifics were wanted.</p>
<p>In response to Ze, your example of the hot dog eating contest completely threw me off.</p>
<p>And trust me, I've spoken to 3 (YES 3, and personally, mind you) adm. officers who have reviewed my ideas and given me pros and cons about each one. Here's the thing, I'm not special, and they basically told me that straight out. to write an amazing personal statement, you've got to be DIFFERENT. That's the bottom line. What sets me apart is that I am young and I do have ambitions. COlleges want to see people who will go on and make the school famous (okay not directly, but you catch my drift). </p>
<p>Here's another thing: Being "campus specific" isn't all they want, no one cares about how much you ReallyReallyAreAbsolutelyDyingToGetIn, they want to see someone who's dedicated and smart. No one likes desperation. Just stick to what the question asks for. If it asks why you would like to attend (insert prestiegious college here), then go for it. </p>
<p>I'm not trying to criticize or be defensive, i promise. I think you're being super productive Ze. I'd actually like more input from you (you're very articulate). How much sincerity do you think should go into an essay? How much should be straight to the point?</p>
<p>"but it cant just be a trite: 'this happened, i had an epiphany, now i want to go to x college.'"</p>
<p>I was at a personal statement workshop yesterday and the guy mentioned something along these lines. I think one of my essays is sort of like this, maybe you guys can give me advice...</p>
<p>My open-ended UC essay is an explanation of my growth from my high school 2.0 to my community college 4.0. It's basically a story about being scared of domestic violence, wanting to change the situation, and then following through. I think my writing is pretty good (never had under an A on an essay), but it seems to me like my story fits the stereotype above. Do you think that domestic violence is a unique enough topic to stand out?</p>
<p>Hey there,</p>
<p>As a fellow community college student and NOT any kind of expert, I think your topic about your academic growth is an AWESOME place to start writing your essay. a 20 to a 4.0? That's great.</p>
<p>However, here's my take on the domestic violence stuff:</p>
<p>I just finished reading a book on how to write college essays and there was a chapter about personal experiences etc etc. The book said it's best to stay away from super personal stuff, and oftentimes the reader may feel uncomfortable reading about something that's supposed to be private. I think it's brave of you to go through whatever it is you've gone through, but I don't know if writing about it would be the best idea. That's just my opinon though.</p>
<p>Like I said, the increase in GPA is definitely impressive, and shows dedication and motivation. I commend you for that. Good luck!</p>