<p>I sent in my request for an appeal a few days ago and the decision is now pending. I was hoping you guys could give me some honest, constructive feedback on my appeal essay to help ease my mind.
G.P.A 3.1
ACT:34
SAT II's lit and math II: 750</p>
<p>To the Admission Review Committee of UCSB,
I write to ask for a reconsideration of your decision to deny me admission to the University for fall 2010. I realize that 40,000 or so applicants apply each year to UCSB, and that you have to deny admission to at least half of these applicants. I write this letter in the hope that its contents will give you a better idea of who I am, why UCSB is my number one choice of school, and of what I can contribute to the University.
In the first place, I have come to the realization that what I want to pursue is a double major in Mathematics and Physics, and there is practically no better place to do this than at UCSB. I understand that I have a mediocre GPA, but I can tell you why I only have a 3.16, whereas most of your admitted freshmen will have 3.9 or 4.0s, and I can tell you, with certainty, that I will match or beat these GPAs if you admit me.
I am only 16 years old, and I made the mistake, which I really regret now, to coast by in my sophomore and junior years. I was immature, and more concerned with fitting in with my much older peers than pursuing academics to my full potential. I was still a middle-school aged child and therefore subject to these mistakes at a time when I should have been occupied with my studies.
I have matured a lot in the last year, I am continuing to mature, and I am not the same student that I was when I was 13. I understand that I need to put in a lot of hours and hard work if I want to achieve my goals. I have learned this lesson best through my participation in the Youth and Government Program sponsored by my local YMCA. This is an amazing program that teaches kids how our government works, and builds in them a greater understanding of community and responsibility. Thanks to the mentoring of my good friend Casey Banks, the Director of the Program, I got the opportunity to go to Sacramento and enact change throughout California. While there, through extensive lobbying, persuading, and speech giving, we were able to pass a bill through to Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger’s desk that a few of the kids from the program and I drafted ourselves. The bill, which would levy a 25 cent tax on all plastic bags manufactured across the state, aims to encourage alternative means of bagging to help the environment, as well as to create revenue that is directed specifically to alternative-energy research and more importantly, public education. If signed by the Governor, the bill that started in our minds here at home will become a statewide law.
If I am admitted, I will work very hard, I will contribute to the political, social, musical and academic life of the University, and I will honor my teachers by performing to the utmost of my ability and potential. I respectfully ask you to reconsider your decision, and instead to grant me admission.
Yours truly,
Daggenhurst</p>
and think this is a good idea :), though I’m not sure how that is relevant for you as a person :(. Your conclusion is too short, and I think you shouldve included why you should be admitted for w.e major u put down, and how you have been prepping for that major :).</p>
(good high ACT btw :D) There’s going to be many worse than urs hopefully :). Good luck :D, and hopefully you get in :)</p>