UF College Essay

College Essays
1

<p>Hi, I'm going to be a senior in high school and I'm really hoping to get into UF (its my reach/dream school). My GPA isn't all that great and my test scores are solid at best so I need my Personal Essay to get me noticed. The topic, as I am sure you are aware if you are reading this discussion, is as follows:</p>

<p>"In the space provided, please write a concise narrative in which you describe a meaningful event, experience or accomplishment in your life and how it will affect your college experience or your contribution to the UF campus community. You may want to reflect on your ideas about student responsibility, academic integrity, campus citizenship or a call to service."</p>

<p>Now, I don't have anything similar to what is mentioned in the prompt, however I have something a little different. When I was in 7th grade, I had pneumonia and a collapsed lung that I almost died from. Prior to this, I was lazy, overweight, didn't care about school or my grades. It served as a wake-up call for me and I turned my life around. I lost the weight, made almost straight-A's, and became active with school. This transferred over to high school as well. I joined JROTC my junior year (I was so proficient that they made me Honor Company First Sergeant after only one year), I became involved with Key Club (I am now President), and I plan on enlisting in the U.S. Navy before going to college.</p>

<p>Think I could make this into an essay that get me accepted? Any feedback is monumentally appreciated. Thank you.</p>

<p>-CMC</p>

2

<p>You definitely could. That was a meaningful event. I don’t know what the exact thought processes were, but you seem to have come to some type of conclusion that life is short and fragile, and gained some kind of sense of purpose. What that purpose is and how UF will help you achieve it will be a key part of your essay. I also see you embodying the call to service, so you could also write about that.</p>

3

<p>Definitely sounds good and I’d like to echo OnMyWay’s comment about the call to service—most people just go the doctor route when they talk about service, but you have something different.
How low are your test scores and GPA? Just to get an idea of how much you need your personal essay to “pop.”</p>