Uh oh, mono. Back to school, withdrawing from a class Qs

Parents Forum
1

<p>Unfortunately, D came down with mono just two weeks into the first semester of junior year. She was so sick we brought her back home. A classic case, with off the chart EBV antibodies and every symptom in the book. </p>

<p>Medically, she is finally past the acute stage. Symptoms cycled dramatically from fatigue to high fevers and chills, sore throat and swollen glands , loss of appetite, nausea, body aches and weakness. She was scary sick - the sickest she's ever been in her life. A course of prednisone (throat was SO swollen she had trouble swallowing) was finished on Saturday. Once on the prednisone she showed immediate improvement. However, Sunday she had a setback, was weak and exhausted and spent most of the day sleeping. She's actually MUCH improved again today and feels almost back to normal. </p>

<p>Here's the dilemma - she very much wants to try to go back to school this week. Doctor is OK with whenever she feels up to that. I'm concerned that as sick as she was so recently, it's rushing things a bit. On the other hand, much more time out would mean the end of her semester. Her plan is to meet with professors, evaluate the demands and what needs to be made up, see how she is feeling and then decide whether to drop any classes (out of five) and how many. My questions are for anyone at all who has been through this or is familiar with the situation: </p>

<p>Generally speaking, what is a reasonable number of classes to carry while one is more tired than usual, after missing 2 1/2 - 3 weeks of classes? Does anyone have any stories or basis for comparison? Did grades suffer? By how much? D is taking a combination of classes, some math based, some reading and writing based. Probably all about equally demanding in terms of time. All are challenging, upper level classes. Her main concern right now is that she doesn't want to "mess up" her good GPA. Meanwhile, our primary concern is her health. We are OK with her taking summer classes or even going an entire extra semester should it end up coming to that. </p>

<p>Does anyone have any experience in terms of a school refund of tuition after a withdrawal from one or two (or more) classes? Did the transcript reflect a W even if it was an excused withdrawal, or was this eliminated? How did the school handle that?</p>

<p>Has anyone had the situation where the student attempts to go back to one or more class but "relapses" and needs to withdraw totally? Should the school consider the original date of absence as the date of withdrawal or the later one (particularly if an earlier date would allow for significant tuition refund)? </p>

<p>Any other advice, considerations or questions she should ask? Are there specific accomodations she should seek?</p>

2

<p>She should find out if she can take an Incomplete in any of her classes, and then finish the work later. If she can take an Incomplete, what is the final due date for the work? Some places could give her a year to finish the work, others might want it finished sooner. She also needs to know if the work never gets finished, does that I turn into an F, a W, or just stay on her transcript as an I forever. Again, each institution (and sometimes each department within a given institution) sets its own policy about this.</p>

<p>I never needed a Withdrawal, but like just about everyone at one of my old universities, I did have my share of Incompletes.</p>

<p>Wishing her a swift recovery!</p>

3

<p>roshke, sorry to hear your daughter was so sick. Same thing happened to my daughter, who was diagnosed with mono six weeks into the 1st semester of her sophomore year. In contrast to your daughter, she decided to withdraw; she didn’t want the illness to affect her grades (she’s in a competitive, grades-oriented program.) It turned out to be the right decision - it took her a good solid three weeks in bed, followed by another week and a half of some walking around before she could function more or less normally. School was very accommodating and applied the already-paid tuition to the next semester. I got the impression they were relieved she was withdrawing - better to have the sick kid out of the dorms before everyone else got infected…</p>

4

<p>roshke, not from illness, but I did have several bumps during those years. First semester sophomore year my mother died and I missed a couple of weeks. I soldiered on and managed to finish all the courses I was in with only one B. </p>

<p>Spring sophomore year I started with 19 credits, and due to personal problems started dropping things 2 weeks into the semester. I dropped until I was at the limit for full time (12) and managed to finish with those. That semester brought the only C I’ve had in college, and I paid for it later because it was in one of my fundamental courses. The R or W grades on my transcripts were never an issue anywhere. </p>

<p>It seems early for teachers to allow Incompletes, and she would have to retake incompletes from the beginning since so little time has elapsed, if they did allow them.</p>

5

<p>I had pneumonia when I was a sophomore back in the 80’s; I know that I ended up only finishing 6 credits that semester; I had started off with 18. Not quite sure what the status of those other classes was, but if I recall you could withdraw with a W up until walking into the final exam. So I probably just withdrew & didn’t get a refund. Parents & I were clueless about how college worked so there might have been a better way that we didn’t know. The problem for me was that I lost weight & was very weak; that’s what took me a long time to get over. Best of luck to your D!</p>

6

<p>No idea what is best scenario in this case, just wanted to point out that it seems like we are having more severe mono cases over the past decade or so. When I was going to school I have never heard about mono, or if I did it was a VERY isolated case. Nowday I already know 2 kids that are fairly close to me that have come down with it hard, needed to stay home for a few weeks before being able to continue with school. Looks like our immunity is in the dumpsters :(</p>

7

<p>^I had mono in my freshman year of college (1973), but it was a relatively mild case. I went home for a short while—probably 1-2 weeks-- yet managed to finish the semester without withdrawals or incompletes.</p>

8

<p>I was pretty lucky, I got mono for Christmas break and we had two weeks of reading period after Christmas before exams. I actually got the best grades of my college career probably because I studying was less hard on me than partying!</p>

<p>My husband got mono at the end of a semester and ended up in the infirmary for over a week. They had med school students coming in regularly to admire his throat. He took a couple incompletes.</p>

<p>I think it would be hard to negotiate this early in the term for incompletes, but it would certainly be worth talking to each of her professors and see who seem to be sympathetic and easy to work with. I’d decide which courses to drop based on those discussions, assuming she goes back at all.</p>

9

<p>To the OP–it sounds like you’re handling this very sanely. I have no words of wisdom for you, but I would recommend that once your daughter has all of the information in hand (possibilities, consequences) that you let her make the decision as to how she wants to proceed. I know how those parental instincts kick in when your child is sick, but focus on supporting her physical recovery. If she’s as sensible as you are, I have no doubt she’ll choose the best course of action.</p>

<p>Hugs to you both.</p>

10

<p>kelowna, mono is one of the most common viruses – and tests show over 90% of the population has had it (just didn’t know it.)</p>

11

<p>^^ I am aware of that :wink:
What I was getting at is that we are no longer able to fight it off as easily as we used to.</p>

12

<p>… or maybe as parents of young people we’re more attuned to the population most likely to get it badly? So the tough cases SEEM to be more prevalent? Just wondering.</p>

13

<p>My S got mono 1 month into his freshman year, was extremely sick, but managed to keep his courseload. He had a rough time with midterms, but pulled out the semester at the end. The School outlined the choices he had. He definitely did not want to lose the semester.</p>

14

<p>When my son became ill during his freshman year (not mono) we thought that would be the end of his Cornell career. He was seeing a specialist and was on immunosuppressants and two other meds. He was barely able to keep his eyes open but he somehow pulled it off. Your daughter may still be able to (want to) give this her best shot. The mono might start to get better in the next few days and she will be able to get some solid studying in. She should talk to her professors and let them know how she is feeling and what her intentions are. My son did not need to take any incompletes but it was not an easy year.</p>

<p>Good luck to your daughter and I wish her a speedy recovery.</p>

15

<p>Sorry your daughter was so sick. Hope her recovery is speedy and complete! My daughter contracted mono in the middle of October of her sophomore year. She was also quite ill and trying to manage it on her own at school using the health services. To their credit they were very on top of it, and even told her they believed she had mono, but wanted to wait till her strep test was negative before testing for it. She sounded so miserable on the phone my husband just drove up to the school ( 4 hours away) and brought her home to see our doctor. Mono was confirmed and she ended up staying home with us for about 2 weeks so I could care for her. Her liver enzymes were off the charts. She also had a severely sore throat and required steroids like your daughter. Lost about 8 pounds and was weak and tired but after the steroids eventually started coming around. </p>

<p>From the very beginning my daughter was in touch with her professors via email, and alerted them to the situation, and kept in touch the entire time she was home. All told her to stay home till she felt up to returning to school. Project deadlines and tests dates were changed until she returned to school and was able to make up the work. We were grateful for how thoughtful and accommodating the school actually was in this situation. I think it was helpful that she was in contact with all parties at the beginning of her illness, and had been seen at the health servies while she was there. (Health services even called her at home to see how she was doing.) She goes to a relativley small, private school (<5000) where she knew all the profs well and they knew her; I think the situation may have been much different if she had been a student at a very large university. It took her a while to make up the work, finish projects and take all the missed tests, especially since she had to take it easy and get enough rest due to how tired she was. GPA did not suffer at all, thankfully. She was very careful to get enough rest and not overdo things and luckily did not relapse. Much luck to your daughter; hopefully things will work out for her, too.</p>

16

<p>D1 had mono spring of her sophmore yeare (I think it was end of Feb). She came home for a week, and just slept the entire time. She didn´t withdraw from any class (not sure if she could have at that point). She was very busy with campus work and ECs (just joined a sorority too), on top of her heavy course load. She stopped dancing for a month, cut back on her work, and way back on her social life. My H also loaded her up with a lot of immune booster vitamins. Her main focus was to keep up with her grades, and she ended up with a very good semester.</p>

<p>D1 probably didn´t have a very bad case of mono, but I think with good eating habit, and plenty of sleep after she went back to campus really helped her. </p>

<p>I would see if your daughter could take few classes P/F, and drop a class. She should not do any exercise until she is fully recovered. Take the flu shot, avoid crowded places. Take as many naps as possible.</p>

<p>Good luck with your daughter. Hope she feels better soon.</p>

17

<p>Three classes might be a good number, and are enough to help her feel that her life is continuing.</p>

<p>The outcomes to a mono situation like this seem to vary a lot, but a common theme seems to be some depression if a full course load is still pursued, resulting in feelings of being completely swamped and overwhelmed.</p>

<p>Don’t know if you have tuition refund insurance. With that, it really doesn’t matter when you withdraw, because the insurance company makes up the difference.</p>

<p>Staying in touch with a dean/administrator and with professors sounds like a good idea. I would inquire about accommodations available to her if fatigue continues for a bit, such as extensions on papers, postponed tests, excused absences, that kind of thing. Someone can get her notes, if she has to rest and misses class.</p>

18

<p>I’m sorry to hear your daughter was so ill. My younger son was very ill with mono last year - I flew out to bring him to a hotel for 4 days to recuperate. The steroids were key to his recovery as well. I’ve never seen him so ill - mono can be very tough. </p>

<p>He became ill right after taking midterms, so he had some breathing room to catch up with work which helped. I would contact the dean of students (we did this, to see what kind of accommodations might be possible), and have your daughter email each of her professors now. In my son’s case, he ultimately didn’t need any extensions, but it was nice to know that the professors were in the loop in case he did, and I think the professors appreciated being told in advance that a request for an extension might be made. </p>

<p>My son was able to keep a full workload, and the quarter ended up being one of his best academically. He continued to be tired for weeks, so socializing was on the back burner. He basically just tried to take care of himself in terms of sleep, nutrition, etc., getting to class and getting his work done - not much else was on his plate for a while. As I’m sure your daughter’s doctor has advised, athletic activity is out for at least a month. I knew my son was finally feeling better when he started campaigning to be able to play pickup hoops again.</p>

<p>Hope your daughter feels better soon. Good luck.</p>

19

<p>Our daughter became ill as a junior early in the second semester. We were 650 miles away, and she had to come home for about 3 weeks. We were in constant contact with her academic dean who was keeping in contact with her professors. She eventually dropped 2 classes and kept the minimum 12 credit hours to stay full time (and on health care benefits), but was able to catch up and finish the classes with good grades. She chose the classes to drop based on when she could retake them and still graduate on time. It was a tough semester all around, but she stuck it out, and recovered. If she had pulled out altogether on the semester due to medical conditions, it would have been an automatic 1 year away from school before she could return.</p>

<p>It had no negative impact on her academically. She graduated on time and was accepted immediately into 4 of the 5 grad schools she applied to. No one asked about the W’s on her transcript that semester or why she only managed to get 12 credits that semester.</p>

<p>My best advice is to find someone at the school - her academic advisor is the best place to start - and see how your specific school recommends.</p>

20

<p>Thanks to all who shared similar stories, for some very helpful advice and for the well wishes and hugs. They are much appreciated. </p>

<p>Disruptive as this has been, D will eventually make a full recovery and that is all that really matters. D was OK today, but not quite as energetic as yesterday. I took her out to do a few simple errands this morning and by the time we got home, she seemed drained and dragging. The tough thing is not knowing how she’ll be feeling by tomorrow, next week or next month. She is still considering returning to campus tomorrow or the next day. It would give her a chance to meet with all her teachers, get settled and see how she handles a day to day routine again. The worst thing that can happen is that I’ll have to pick her up again (a few hours drive). </p>

<p>D has been in touch with her advisor and professors from the beginning of her illness. Everyone has been supportive and has told her to focus on getting well and to meet with them when she returns. From what I understand anything is possible, from wiping the transcript of any "W"s to refunding the tuition retroactively. Everything is reviewed and is on a case by case basis. Normally you can’t go under 12 credits, live in the dorms, and have full time student status, but they can make an exception for something like this. We will have to just wait and see.</p>

<p>It sounds like a student in her situation would typically have a choice as to whether to take "W"s or "I"s (incompletes) in one or more classes. An “I” has to be made up within a year, but will always have the I designation to show that the class wasn’t finished in the typical time frame. A “W” would probably not show up on the transcript. However, the advisor has said it’s probably too early in the semester for many teachers to agree to an “I”. </p>

<p>Although we’re not yet sure what will happen here, it is encouraging to hear that many students were able to get through something like this successfully. Thanks!</p>