UIUC prompt 1 Essay. Please critique my essay!

<p>ESSAY #1: In an essay of 300 words or less, please describe how your past circumstances and experiences (such as your upbringing, community, and/or activities) impacted who you are, your future goals, and your choice of major. If you haven't decided on a college or major yet, briefly explain your intentions and aspirations for your first year at Illinois.</p>

<p>I can critique if you want. I got accepted to uiuc ea this year</p>

<p>Sent from my SPH-D600 using CC</p>