<p>My son is thinking top schools, but here is the story </p>
<p>He has Ulcerative colitis. This spring it was hell and I am just happy he could finish the year. S is an overachiever who is stressing a lot over grades. He loves to be the best or one of the best and is challenging himself with a tough schedule. His current grades and EC can get him into top schools. Son would like to become a doctor.</p>
<p>I am thinking he should go to a solid safety or target school where he can have a good college experience and have time for EC interests for de-stressing (music, sports, research, etc). A less selective school is also more likely to offer an attractive package (we are not a full pay family). He may be one of the best in our public school, but wait until he starts competing with kids from prep schools or places like NYC Bronx Science With the rigorous course load that any premed track will have and a pressure to maintain a high GPA I can picture the vicious cycle of overwhelmed stressed sick. The school should be located near a city with medical choices and public transportation. It should be within driving distance from home (NY) for a rescue plan.</p>
<p>This leaves us with choices like:
Boston (BU, Boston College, Tufts, Northeastern)
Philadelphia (Villanova, Muhlenberg)
Washington DC (American University, Georgetown University, GWU)
University of Maryland
University of Delaware</p>
<p>I am wrong to feel this way? Did your kids medical history influence his choices? Or just let them go to any school they want? How did they handle stress, eating on campus, being sick while away and going to the drs? I would like to hear especially about boys because they are less likely to take good care of themselves, ask for help and join a support group.</p>
<p>The most important to get into their heads to go to emergency when situation calls for it. My own very bright pre-med (and currently Medical student) missed doing it on timely basis when she knew she could have died. I screamed over the phone several times until it finally happened (2 events, Senior in UG and Med. School).
Do not want to scare you, but please, repeat many times that he has to go to emergency if it is needed. D. does not have medical condition. However, her stomach tends to have severe reaction to some medications that she never took before so we never know what might happen when she takes very common anti-biotic (as one example). Both times she let herself to get severely dehydrated. She has facilities close by and insurance and many friends around her, she had no exuse to get herself into such a dangerous condition.<br>
Yes, it is also very helpful to be close by. In D’s second instance, I ended up going there and staying with her for 2 days as she had several conditions piled up and had to go to emergency couple of times for Ivy. Also, he will need to get good friends there maybe sooner than otherwise, have telephone numbers handy (like local ask-a-nurse and primary care providers).And definitely know location of closest Emergency.<br>
Not sure about specifics of NY as we are in different state.<br>
Best of wishes!</p>
<p>I have a friend whose son has Crohn’s. He is at Hood College in Frederick, Maryland.</p>
<p>Hood is a very small LAC. They chose Hood because it gave their son, who had missed a very large chunk of one year of high school due to the Crohn’s diagnosis, a very good scholarship. He is quite intelligent, had very good SAT scores, but his GPA and extracurricular involvements had suffered in high school, until they gained a correct diagnosis, and got things under control.</p>
<p>They were also very happy to find an excellent physician in Frederick, who met with them ahead of time to set up a plan for infusion therapy. (Does that sound right? I know he goes regularly for an infusion of something) Hood is pretty close to both Baltimore and D.C. and the major medical centers where he had been diagnosed.</p>
<p>They have felt that the individual attention from very accessible professors has been invaluable. Their son has met another couple of students there with the same diagnosis. He had a few medical problems spring semester, and was able to take his finals a couple of weeks late.</p>
<p>Hood has a reputation around here of being generous with scholarships, and fairly easy to gain admission to, but the classes themselves are challenging.</p>
<p>I have ulcerative colitis. Yes, it’s hell, but you need to learn to adapt to it. I don’t think you should rule out reach schools or tough schools because of the stress level. I DO agree that he needs to be somewhere near a city or with transportation because of doctors and hospitals. </p>
<p>He needs to learn how to cope with the things you described, especially if he wants to be a doctor. He’s going to have to get used to things like stress, possibly being away from home, etc. </p>
<p>I think physical medical conditions should have an influence on location of the school, but little else. </p>
<p>I met with a nutritionist at school that worked with me on creating meals and such from the caf menus. There should be someone like this at every school. I also found that my UC was much more manageable when I went to college because of the professional help and large caf options. It became much more manageable. </p>
<p>Good luck and I hope he finds the perfect fit for him!</p>
<p>LoveMyPuppies, my son was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis during his junior year of high school, and for him, too, “spring was hell”—and fall was even worse. I would suggest a few things:</p>
<p>1) Keep your options open. My son applied to a safety school just a couple of miles from home because he had no idea what condition he would be in by college declaration day. By the same token, he applied to reach schools as well because it didn’t make sense for him to rule out a stellar academic opportunity because of what might happen in the future.</p>
<p>2) Get feedback from your son. How does he feel about the potentially heavy course load of a more academically challenging institution? Is he a relaxed person or an anxious one? Is he looking forward to attending classes and writing papers or is he dreading it? Ulcerative colitis is not caused by stress, but it can be exacerbated by stress. This could be an issue for a type A personality prone to anxiety, but if your son is the laid-back type, and if he generally enjoys academia, he might not be as susceptible to the stress trigger. </p>
<p>3) Don’t be shy about sharing his condition with the school health center. When we filled out his medical forms, we explained his condition and gave permission for the information to be shared as needed for his benefit. Later, when he studied abroad, this worked out well as the college deliberately placed him with a family who had experience with chronic illness and were comfortable discussing health issues.</p>
<p>4) Keep in mind that the size of the school may determine the amount of personal attention he receives. My son ended up at a small liberal arts school and we felt that the small classes and small student body diminished the possibility of him becoming ill/staying ill without anyone noticing. </p>
<p>Good luck and try not to let your anxiety overwhelm the fun of the college search process. My husband and I felt that we needed to communicate optimism to our son and assure him that everything would be fine. In the end, it was. There were hurdles, but he did well and is healthy today.</p>
<p>BTW, I missed that he want to be a doc. In this case, it is NOT needed at all to be at any top school. Any state public is OK. What is much more important to have very high college GPA and decent MCAT score, and unfortunately push is unavoidable. He will have to learn to deal with it. It is true for all of them, maybe girls are more sensitive though, maybe boys are tougher. We had many telephone converstations with my D. I just listen and hoped that she would be OK. I did not worry about academics ever, ir was enough for her to worry about it. It is probably one of the longest and hardest proffessional paths. But some of them love it so much that they do not see themselves doing anything else. Best wishes, he should attend any place that he personally feels fit him the best from all prospective, except for consideration for Med. School - adcoms will not care much about his UG, they will care whole lot about grades that he got there.</p>
<p>All,
Thank you so much for your thoughts!
MiamiDAP, I did not get 4) - is it better to be at a small school or not? He would like to go to a prestigious school he “deserves” with his near Ivy stats; my goal is “happy and healthy”. Son is stressing over grades and is very competetive. He starts laughing when I suggest an in-state school. I would like to get him thinking about a recognizable name school where he can be succesful even when missing classes due to illness.</p>
<p>Romaniegypsyeyes, I am not sure what you mean by “learn to adapt”. You can take you meds religiously, tolerate pain and learn smart food choices, but once you are in a flare, it is out of control. You can’t help missing classes, and labs are hard to catch up on. So flare prevention and stress reduction is key. </p>
<p>Yes, I’m aware of those things. I mean it’s just one of those things you need to learn to live with because it will ALWAYS be an issue. I don’t know how else to describe it. That’s why I don’t think you should base a school decision on one’s condition (within reason).</p>
<p>Yes, stress reduction IS key but if he wants to go to medical school, he will be under ENORMOUS stress. I don’t think shielding it in undergrad is going to be helpful is all. Like Miami said though, GPA is important. </p>
<p>I also don’t think there’s going to be a HUGE level of stress difference between top schools and lesser schools. That’s JMO though.</p>
<p>LoveMyPuppies, if you’re referring to my 4), I meant that yes, a small school might provide your son with more personal attention, and if he were ill, his absence from class would be noticed and someone would likely follow up. I don’t mean to denigrate the larger schools–they are wonderful in many ways–but for a student managing a chronic illness, a smaller school might be a better option. As with everything, it depends on both the organization/facilities of the school and the personality of the student.</p>
<p>LoveMyPuppies, I think all the posters thus far are trying to say more or less the same things:</p>
<p>The road to becoming a physician is very long, and without exception, stress filled. Even for the smartest person there is stress inherent in the process. </p>
<p>Medical schools do not care much about where a student earned his undergraduate degree. Although whenever this topic comes up, there will be posters who disagree wth that statement, in general it is true. Generally, a student planning to pursue pre-med classes as an undergraduate would be better served by doing so at a college or university where they will have the most chance for success. For some kids that place may be a highly competitive, cut throat environment. For some it may be a research oriented university. For some the best place to achieve success may be a lower ranked or smaller school that offers easily available support services.</p>
<p>For a kid with medical issues that can be exacerbated by stress, attending the highest reach school for undergrad might not be the best decision if the goal is medical school. </p>
<p>In the end a person wanting to become a physician is, at some point, going to have to learn to handle the stress of a very competitive, heavy course load … and then the stress of medical school, and then the stress of another 4-10 years of residency and or fellowship training. It is a long road.</p>
<p>I’m not a parent but I’m a student with Crohn’s Disease, and for that reason i chose a school very close to home (Northeastern) although I live on campus. I got sick this past Spring and it has been very helpful to be both close to my doctors but also to home. It is not fun at all being sick away from home, so its nice for me to be able to come home on weekends. Looking back on some of the schools i applied to, although they were all within driving distance (6 hours at the most) I really don’t want to think about what it would have been like to be so sick so far away. But then again the other schools were in the middle of no where, being in a major city with great medical care and close to home has really helped me. </p>
<p>Sorry i know im not a parent but I just thought a different perspective could be helpful.</p>
<p>leah, I’m a student, too. A student with UC’s perspective is most welcome in matters like this. Afterall, we’re the ones who have actually lived through it. Parents give a completely different perspective. Both are quite valuable.</p>
<p>That reminded me though. Make sure you square away with insurance. What is covered, what isn’t, etc. That can greatly influence where your child should go to school…</p>
<p>Don’t feel overprotective…I would err on the side of close to home or close to medical specialists. I hope he takes your concerns to heart. You really can get to medical school from a lot of undergrad programs, so better not to stress out and have energy to do all those non-class things med schools are looking for (work experience, volunteer, research).</p>
<p>My daughter became quite ill during college and was diagnosed with Crohn’s at the end of her sophomore year. She was at a demanding Ivy and managed to graduate with a double major and with high honors. She’s worked an incredibly demanding job since. Medical school is extremely difficult with long hours. So if the goal is to do something really hard, maybe knowing if he can handle something challenging at the college level would help him decide if he can do medical school – although I know the arguments for going to a less demanding school both for GPA reasons and health reasons. My only piece of advice is to go somewhere where there are excellent physicians and lots of choices.</p>
<p>One of mine deals with a different issue. When you tour, take a hard look at the actual range of food choices in the dining halls. Where I work, choices are pathetically limited, in both variety and nutrition. Where she’s in school, each food category is so broad that she can manage well and be satisfied. And, there’s enough emphasis on healthy and local. I’d also check the actual hours of health services.</p>
<p>LoveMyPuppies: I wish I could speak to you from experience but I am currently in a similar situation. My younger S was diagnosed with UC this past Feb, (senior year). He got sick after his college applications were in but fortunately he had previously decided to stay in state. He is in engineering, also a challenging major with many lab classes and I am also worried about the stress. </p>
<p>He was not a candidate for and had no interest in attending a top school, (outside of our state flagships). My older S fits that bill so I understand how important this can be to a kid who really wants it. My older son however, never wanted to attend a school that was cut throat competitive. In his situation it was important for him to be around students who were academically inclined as he is. Our buzz words were collaborative rather than competitive. He attends a highly ranked LAC and loves it. There were other highly ranked schools that we looked at that were not LAC’s that also put out that vibe of being collaborative. No matter what there is likely to be stress. But perhaps you can find a school that has a less stressful environment. </p>
<p>My S with UC doesn’t get stressed often but has his moments. I am concerned about how he will deal with the stresses of college. We met with a disabilities counselor this past week to set up some parameters for support. I know he thinks about strategies to control stress. For him working out and athletics are stress relievers and I expect he will try and keep this in his college world. We are also working on getting him set up with a GI doctor in his college town. So far I think the degree to which he felt aweful when he was sick has been a motivatior to be very conscientious about his diet and taking his medications. I hope he can maintain this in college. He is presently away for most of the summer as a camp counselor, he also took several trips not too long after getting his diagnosis. I have cringed some inside but really worked to support him keeping his life as normal as possible which has meant not stopping him from doing the things that are important to him when he is able to do them. I really think that if I kept him within the limits that are comfortable for me he would very likely be less happy, more stressed and maybe more ill. It is hard to strike a balance, I definitely don’t have the answers I am working through it one day at a time as you are. </p>
<p>It looks like in addition to your concerns about managing UC you are also concerned about the cost of college. For my older son that was also a real concern and could be the limiting factor even if UC isn’t. Along those line if you qualify for financial aid and can afford your EFC then looking at schools that guarantee to meet need without loans can be a great option if scholarships at those most competitive schools are not available or if they aren’t received. Several people have mentioned that it isn’t all that important to go to a top school to get into med school and I am sure that is true as it was for my older S who dreams of going to a top law school. For him going to a highly ranked undergrad wasn’t about him being able to follow his chosen path or about prestige, it was about finding an experience that was comfortable for him. I’m not saying that every bright kid needs to be in a highly ranked school to feel comfortable or do well. I’m only saying that the particular situation that my S found was what he was craving and it was doable. if your S has a similar drive then perhaps a collaborative highly ranked school with strong FA might also be a good choice for your S. (Especially if it isn’t too far from home :))</p>
<p>Thank you all from the bottom of my heart, for sharing you experience and advice. It is wonderful to feel you are not alone. We are going to see what happens, still have plenty of time.
Best wishes to all! Stay well and enjoy life.
LoveMyPuppies</p>
<p>Lovemy,
“MiamiDAP, I did not get 4) - is it better to be at a small school or not? He would like to go to a prestigious school he “deserves” with his near Ivy stats; my goal is “happy and healthy”. Son is stressing over grades and is very competetive. He starts laughing when I suggest an in-state school. I would like to get him thinking about a recognizable name school where he can be succesful even when missing classes due to illness.”</p>
<p>-"my goal is “happy and healthy”. - The very correct goal. I do not understand your S’s attitude about state public schools, but I would let him choose, unless there are financial considerations. D. and her pre-med friends did not have problem getting accepted to several great Med. Schools after state public. D. has graduated #1 from private prep. HS and found classes at her State Public being extremely challenging. Cureently at Med. School she is surrounded by kids from all kind of Ivy’s and very Elite UGs and she feels just as prepared (and doing very well) as all of them.</p>
<p>IF your child has very high stats and wants to be a doctor, applying to combined undergraduate- med programs (eg. Brown) might be a good idea. If he got in,he would have a lot lower stress than being premed.</p>
<p>In addition to being close to a good doctor, you want to make sure the local hospital is excellent. My son was diagnosed with Crohn’s in May. He is at a top LAC in a small town with a dinky hospital and a gastroenterologist who sees patients there every other week. We are trying to figure out if he can go back in the fall. If he had the Crohn’s diagnosis when he was applying, we would have stuck with schools closer to home, in a major city with excellent medical facilities and doctors.</p>
<p>“IF your child has very high stats and wants to be a doctor, applying to combined undergraduate- med programs (eg. Brown) might be a good idea. If he got in,he would have a lot lower stress than being premed.”</p>
<p>-I have a bit different opinion based on my D. being in combined bs/md at her state public. She was the only one who applied out and was accepted to few Med. Schools in addtion to the one in her program.<br>
Yes, it made the difference when she took MCAT and applied. It had calming effect to know that you already have one spot. It was also beneficial to know that she needed low MCAT score. However, pre-med still needs to maintain very high GPA and some programs require MCAT, although much lower. Maintaining very high GPA was by far the most stressful and nothing could be done about it. Also, applying to combined programs is much more than applying to UG. Many of them require additional essays and all of them (not sure specifically about Brown, but all that my D. applied) require interview and waiting for the invitation / rejection requires pretty thick skin also. D. was relaxed, she was also very good at interviews, but many do not feel so.<br>
Apply to bs/md’s only if you can make yourself feel grounded and accepting any results as is. The process might be very stressful by itself and then you are limited to only certain UGs that have programs. D. was lucky that she was accepted to bs/md (only 10 spots) at UG that actually was a great fit for her.</p>