Ultimate Jokes for the Ultimate Nerds!

<p>Hey guys,</p>

<p>Well, i am bored and what better way to get cheered up than to laugh. I am sure you have all heard of the 'nerd' jokes aka. jokes that really are not funny at all because they are academic related ... but deep inside we all laugh at them... well maybe only me. Anyone know any good ones? I'll start:</p>

<p>Two atoms are walking down the street when another atom comes along and robs one of the atoms:</p>

<p>Atom 1:OMG, i just got robbed!
Atom 2:What, are you sure?
Atom 1:Yes, i am Positive!!</p>

<p>Hahahah! You know it's funny...does anyone else know any unfunny/nerdy jokes! I am not like a nerd or anything lol... these jokes are just kinda weird funny.</p>

<p>Haha, I smiled at your joke. :)</p>

<p>Teacher to student: Stop talking, or I'm gonna differentiate and integrate you!
Student: I'm e^x , do what you want ;)</p>

<p>(for those of you who didn't get it : integral of e^x and derivative of e^x are both e^x itself)</p>

<p>There once was a log named Ln
Whose life was devoted to sin.
She came from a tree
Whose base was shaped like an e.
She's the most natural log I've seen.</p>

<p>spideyunlimited, you should.. never... explain a nerd joke. If the person you're telling it to doesn't understand, they will never be nerdy enough to join in on the laughter. Bahaha</p>

<p>How about..</p>

<p>nobody will understand this one..
lol
A good Latin student never declines sex :]</p>

<p>^ I dont get it :(... lol i guess im not a nerd then.</p>

<p>They integrated from the very point of origin. Her curves were continuous, and even though he was odd, he was a real number. The day their lines first intersected, they became an ordered pair. From then on it was a continuous function. They were both in their prime, so in next to no time they were horizontal and parallel. She was awed by the magnitude of his perpendicular line, and he was amazed by her conical projections. "Bisect my angle!" she postulated each time she reached her local maximum. He taught her the chain rule as she implicitly defined the amplitude of his simple harmonic motion. They underwent multiple rotations of their axes, until at last they reached the vertex, the critical point, their finite limit. After that they slept like logs. Later she found him taking a right-handed limit, that was a problem, because it was an improper form. He meanwhile had realized that she was irrational, not to mention square. She approached her ex, so they diverged.</p>

<p>;D</p>

<p>I managed to find this wonderfully amazing list of math and engineering jokes but I can't access it here so I suppose that I'll post them when I get home (where I can access them ;])</p>

<p>edit:here are some more that I just found, reading them now ;D
StumbleUpon</a> WebToolbar</p>

<p>I wish i were a derivative so i could lay tangent to your curves.</p>

<p>You got more curves than a triple integral.</p>

<p>(physicist gets pulled over by cop)</p>

<p>"Sir, do you have any idea how fast you were going?" cop says angrily</p>

<p>"Well, officer, since I know where I am, my velocity cannot be known."</p>

<p>You're like an exothermic reaction, you spread your hotness everywhere!</p>

<p>You’re like a dictionary, you add meaning to my life!</p>

<p>Lol, nerdy pick up lines here. haha.</p>

<p>I hate math so the math jokes aren't my cup of tea, but this is my favorite,</p>

<p>A good Latin student never declines sex</p>

<p>I know more band jokes.</p>

<p>How do you clean a tuba?
WITH A TUBA TOOTHPASTE</p>

<p>How do you fix a tuba?
WITH A TUBA GLUE!</p>

<p>What do you call half a tuba?
A ONE-BA</p>

<p>How do you tune two piccolos?
SHOOT ONE!</p>

<p>How many percussionists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
NONE! "Whoa....DUDE! IT'S DARK IN HERE????? WHOA! WHO TURNED THE LIGHT OFF!?"</p>

<p>How many trombones does it take to screw in a lightbulb.
12! One to bring the keg and the other 11 to drink until the room spins!</p>

<p>How many trumpet players does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A. 1! He puts in up in the socket and the whole world revolves around him!
B. 2! One to do it and the other to say how much better HE could have done it!
C. 2! One to do it and the other to contemplate how Louis Armstrong would have done it!</p>

<p>I have a lot more...</p>

<p>our calc class got shirts that say "calculus is (integral)e^xy" haha
and for orchestra someone made a shirt that said spelled out some phrase using notes.</p>

<p>I want to know what </p>

<p>"A good Latin student never declines sex" </p>

<p>:( >.< means...</p>

<p>Googling tells me that the latin joke is funny because "Sex is a Latin number (VI or 6) which is indeclinable and thus never changes form no matter what it’s describing."</p>

<p>Bah, latin. ;/</p>

<p>Teacher: What's the formula for the area of a circle?</p>

<p>Student: Pi r squared</p>

<p>Other Student: No they're not, they're circles!!</p>

<p>Sucks when typed....funny when told (or at least I think so lol)</p>

<p>whats the opposite of LnX?</p>

<p>duraflame</p>

<p>(the un-natural log)</p>

<p>Bah, latin. ;/</p>

<p>HOW COULD YOU?
Latin is well, AMAZING! Enough said. lol</p>

<p>ha ha ha. that was hilarous!!!
I was just studying about atoms today!</p>