<p>The age old question of
"How many people does it take to screw in a light bulb?"
answered for rivaling prep schools.</p>
<p>HOW MANY STUDENTS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHTBULB AT:</p>
<p>-ST. PAUL'S: Three - one to screw it in and two to sculpt the old one into a bong.</p>
<p>-ANDOVER: One - He holds the bulb and the world revolves around him.</p>
<p>-EXETER: Twenty - a committee composed of students from every possible ethnic group to screw it in unison.</p>
<p>-GROTON: None - Their butlers do it for them.</p>
<p>-HOTCHKISS: Three - one to screw in the lightbulb and two more to screw him "Hotchkiss Style."</p>
<p>-LOOMIS: Two - One to change the bulb and one to complain about how if they were at a better school the lightbulb wouldn't go out.</p>
<p>-PROCTOR: Three-one to stare at the light bulb in a confused manor, one to run and get his learning skills teacher, and the teacher to call maintnence.</p>
<p>-CHOATE: Seven - One to change the light bulb and six to throw a party because he didn't screw it in upside down this time.</p>
<p>-DEERFIELD: Four - one to change it and three to pick out the perfect J. Crew outfit for the occasion.</p>
<p>-TAFT: Six - one varsity athlete to change it and five of his friends to help him with his geometry homework.</p>
<p>-MILTON: Two - One to screw it in perfectly, and another to kill himself when he finds out that the first guy did it better than him.</p>
<p>-GOVERNOR DUMMER: Twelve - six to hike to the nearest village to buy a new one, six to figure out the directions, and one to plow the fields and feed the oxen while the others are occupied.</p>
<p>-NOBLES: 301 - One to screw it in and three hundred to be really lame.</p>
<p>-LAWRENCEVILLE: They're still working on it.</p>
<p>-SALSBURY: Two - one to screw it in and one to buy an inflatable sheep so they can party all night long.</p>
<p>-WORCESTOR ACADEMY: None -Wooster looks better in the dark.</p>
<p>-MIDDLESEX: 216 - One to steal a bulb from someone else, fifteen to start rumors about who the thief was, and two hundred to have an unsupervised party off-campus.</p>
<p>-ST. GEORGE'S: One - but he tries to do it like the guys at Middlesex</p>
<p>-ST. MARK'S: Seven - one to screw it in and six to talk about how chill it is.</p>
<p>-ST. SEBASTIAN'S: Ten - a female teacher to change it,eight students to look up her skirt while she does it, and a priest so they can go confess their sin the next Sunday.</p>
<p>-WILLISTON: Seven - One to screw it in and six to figure out how to power it on manure.</p>
<p>-GUNNERY: None - Lava lamps don't burn out man!</p>
<p>-BOSTON UNIVERSITY: The entire science and robotics team. The science to build a generator and find the ideal position for the light. The robotics team to build a robot to do it for us. Because they are lazy.</p>
<p>-COMMONWEALTH: Fourteen - one to be head of the Red Mondays lightbulb crew, four to skip their assigned jobs, two to beg their friends to switch days, two replacements to fill in for those friends, one to unscrew the old lightbulb and replace it, one to start a cult religion worshipping the new source of light. And three to wash pots.</p>