<p>So I have been accepted to and have already enrolled in UMass Amherst's Honors College, but I am also on the waitlist for Wellesley, and my parents and I have discussed the possibility of my going there if I am accepted (they say they are okay with losing the money from the UMass enrollment deposit, even though finances aren't our strong point right now).</p>
<p>Anyway, my dilemma now is which one to actually choose if Wellesley accepts me. Academically I am not concerned; even if I did go to UMass, which is looked down on by some for being a state school, I would work hard to go to a really good grad school.
Instead, my concerns are mainly social. I have always been un-confrontational and shy although I am less so now than I used to be, and the more I read about social life at Wellesley the more uncertain I become. I feel like Wellesley could either help me to become a more assertive person, or it could further damage my ability to thrive in a co-ed environment after graduating. I have a very small number of guy friends now, there were just never many guys around my age at my school that I had enough in common with to maintain a friendship. I'm afraid that going to an all-girl's school will be detrimental to my ability to socialize with guys, especially given the incredibly mixed reviews I've seen of socializing between Wellesley and other schools. </p>
<p>I don't know if this makes it seem like all I car about is meeting guys, don't get me wrong that's not my main objective at all, I just don't want to end up in a situation where I feel like I'm regressing from the progress I've made with my shyness. Sorry I know this whole thing probably doesn't make a lot of sense, but any opinions you can give are greatly appreciated!!</p>
<p>Lets stop this right here because you have extremely low chance of getting off the waitlist and being accepted.</p>
<p>Girls, guys doesn’t matter. If you get off the waitlist, go to Wellesley as it is academically superior to UMass.</p>
<p>The indulgence in hypothetical scenarios on this board astounds me.</p>
<p>In any case, you stated that “finance isn’t a strong point”. UMass seems like a decent affordable option (assuming in-state), and the honors college is a nice plus. On the other hand, I have no idea what Wellesley aid is like.</p>
<p>Have you asked this in the women’s college subforum or in the Wellesley forum?
[Women’s</a> Colleges - College Confidential](<a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/womens-colleges/]Women’s”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/womens-colleges/)
[Wellesley</a> College - College Confidential](<a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/wellesley-college/]Wellesley”>Wellesley College - College Confidential Forums)</p>
<p>This is a tough call. My undergrad degree is from one of the other sisters, and I later changed fields and spent about three years studying and working at my home state U. Each environment has its own strengths and weaknesses. You seem very level-headed about your options. I am certain that you will be able to do well wherever it is that you do end up studying.</p>
<p>Wishing you all the best!</p>
<p>Don’t waste your energy fretting over situations or options not there yet. Although it sounds like you are a planner which is always good but don’t loose sleep over it unless you actually got off the waitlist. That said, it sounds like you would prefer U Mass. Your concerns are legit regarding shyness. My DD is quite shy as well so I know what you are going through. However, if you think you may be at the top of a class at a certain school, it will help with your confidence level and diminish your shy-ness.</p>
<p>Go with the school which will be the most affordable. If you can get off the waitlist, and Wellesley comes through with aid that will make it less expensive than UMass, then go to Wellesley. Otherwise, you will get an excellent education at UMass. I know someone in the Honors college there, a smart, very happy young woman who is very pleased with her experience at UMass so far (sophomore). At over $20,000 in-state after the Adams scholarship, I hope UMass also came through with Merit money for you.</p>
<p>UMass/Amherst Honors has the BRAND NEW honors dorm opening in the fall. That is going to give a large college a smaller feel. I think you need to be in a co-ed environment so that you learn the skills to interact with both.</p>
<p>I’m not sure why you think that going to a women’s college (not an all-girls’ school) will damage your ability to thrive in co-ed environments. You’ll be going to a women’s college, but your entire world won’t turn to women-only - you’ll still interact with men in the larger world, and you may even cross-register for classes with them at nearby colleges and definitely will go to college parties with them.</p>
<p>You don’t need to be in a co-ed environment to learn the skills to interact with people of different genders. I don’t use a different set of skills interacting with men than I do with women. People are all different from each other, and women’s personalities are all different, too - the differences between the individual women you’ll meet at Wellesley are probably larger on average than the socialized personality differences between men and women as an aggregate.</p>
<p>I agree that you should go where you can afford. First of all, getting off the waitlist at Wellesley is a long shot since these elite schools usually have pretty good yield management. In the event that you do get off and they offer you good aid, then I think you should go there, but otherwise UMass-Amherst is a great public university.</p>
<p>I went to Wellesley, and also knew people at other women’s colleges. I was also very shy, and not sure whether going to a women’s college was a good idea. It turned out it was a WONDERFUL idea. I became much more confident and self-assured without the whole coed thing going on around me. Out of college, I went right into industry and did GREAT in a mostly male setting.</p>