<p>My D has been admitted to a bunch of top notch schools. Think, Michigan, Toronto, McGill, Queens, top 5 small NE LAC, RPI, Vermont and a couple of others. They are all over the map. $ ranges from $13k - $48k depending upon scholarships - no need based. Big 50,000 students, small 1400 students, rural, urban. Canadian, US. She's been accepted to enigneering schools (Michigan) and business schools (Queens). High school spirit (Mich) no school spirit (Toronto). She's a recruited athlete and likes every coach and program. She has visited them all and did an overnight at one. She's not sure if she wants to be an engineer, doctor or whatever. She can't figure out what she wants. </p>
<p>Although I'm tickled pink that she has so many wonderful choices, her inabilty to narrow this down to A vs. B or even C is driving us nuts. I've tried to get her to create a priority list or matrix of things that are important to her, but it goes nowhere. She basically says she'll be happy anywhere.</p>
<p>Now I figure she's really not all that unique in the world, most 17 yr olds have no easy way to narrow these opportunities down. They haven't lived long enough, had enough experiences yet to figure out all their likes and dislikes. </p>
<p>She's got to make a decision sooner or later, by mid-March for one school.</p>
<p>Got any suggestions for a process to help her narrow this down?</p>
<p>I would have to say "not". She will just evolve into a decision. She has already asked us what we would do. We reply that this isn't about us. I'm not really sure how she'll come up with a decision. Would love to guide her thru a process (which I thought this whole search was) where she comes to her own decision.</p>
<p>Well, she can go on to med school with virtually any degree. Engineers have very little latitude for course selection, so maybe she should start with an engineering program.</p>
<p>I know that in situtations like this with my daughter, she likes to hear my personal input first, and then makes a decision. IN other words, if I tell her what I would really like her to see her do, she will think about my point, and then decide if she agrees or disagrees. Voila! her decision is made.</p>
<p>This might be good! It might also be encouraging that she is asking what you would do. </p>
<p>Maybe you are already guiding her, maybe she is already evolving towards a decision. Just in her own way. </p>
<p>If that could be what is going on, then what about letting her evolve in her own way for another few weeks (say)--all the while being available, chatting with her, and answering her questions in a way that provides guidance without specific direction?</p>
<p>Indecisive daugter? Just tell her to go to McGill! It offers a solid, broad-based education which will suit her well as her academic preferences evolve. </p>
<p>Or, if she really wants a small school, then one of those "top 5 small NE LACs" that she got into. But if she's not sure, I'd probably go for the larger school as it offers more options. </p>
<p>Marsden's idea can actually be a very good one. Because "telling her where to go ;)" can very often help smoke out her actual preferences. Or help her recognize her own preferences.</p>
<p>If she will be happy anywhere, it seems a no-brainer to me that she would choose the $13k option (or close) and not the $48k option. Or that you would do so for her.</p>
<p>^^^ I kinda meant that actually. Sometimes when I can't make my mind up about something, I just flip a coin. I figure, if all rationality made it a coin toss, then actually toss the coin! And sometimes, the result shows me (via pangs or momentary elation) what I really wanted after all :)</p>
<p>
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Which is cheapest? If she'd be happy anywhere, find the least expensive option.
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</p>
<p>yeah but that assumes that she actually will be happy anywhere, which I doubt. I still say, all other things being equal, choose the strongest school academically.</p>
<p>"She basically says she'll be happy anywhere."</p>
<p>For some kids, that's true, too.</p>
<p>What about the "non-basic"? (If she's not sure what she wants, I'd either choose the school with the largest number of options (Michigan/McGill) or the best advising - which COULD be the LAC, though not necessarily (my own had, and still has, a reputation for pretty minimal advising.)</p>
<p>Thanks Jmmom. I just printed out your rubric from the other thread. I'll pass it on.</p>
<p>I don't think she'll be happy anywhere. That's her verbal defense about making a decision. </p>
<p>But it is about tradeoffs - academically they are all superior. But how does one value small classes vs. large? How does one value Toronto or Montreal vs. a small school in Maine? Those are tough to sort out, especially when you've only visited and not lived there for a year or two. They all have their plusses and minuses and those criteria are purely subjective. In some ways very touchy feely. The only thing I can really figure is $$ is not subjective.</p>
<p>Our son was in a similar situation LY- acceptances from 13 colleges ranging in size from 1300-16,000 & money ranging from 00$ to full scholarships. He had a devil of a time deciding, and in the end picked the large school with most $$. This it turns out was a mistake- it was not best "fit" for him, and he is in the process of writing essays again, in the hope of transfering to the college that, had he listened to his gut, was the right choice for him.
Long story short- ask your D to think about how she LEARNS best- Does she see herself doing well in large classes [ 200 students in an auditorium] where the teaching is mostly lecture format [ Big U]? Or does she do better in smaller classes where there is more interaction with teachers [Smaller LAC].
The pre Engineering courses at many universities are used to "filter out" the students that aren't going to cut it. Would she be better off at a smaller LAC where there is more hands on support, or at Big U, where she may have more competition, but also more options for other majors if she changes her mid about a major [ as many students are forced to do]?
And the expectations of many college athletic coaches are that you are expected to devote yourself to your sport first, and then classes. The time committment for college athletics can be huge- up to 6 hrs a day, which is much more so than HS- Is she wliling to give up a normal college life for her sport? Hopefully some of these questions can help her narrow down her choices to one or two in short order.</p>
<p>How is she at role playing? Ask her to imagine that each college had rescinded its acceptance. Which ones would she say "Ouch!" too.</p>
<p>I'm kinda with Marsden...pick the strongest school academically <em>that also</em> meets with gut-level approval. Even the most rational, objective students can learn to listen to what their gut tells them.</p>
<p>I think picking a college is closer to picking a mate than picking, say, a car. There are too many subjective, almost chemical factors in play. (And no, I don't mean picking the schools with "the hottest guys." :) )</p>
<p>Btw, if one of the schools is Smith, they have a new but seemingly solid engineering program as well as a great liberal arts alternative if that's what she decides instead. Caution: I'm one of CC's leading Smith honks and the competition is stiff.</p>
<p>Is she serious about competing in her sport? If so, she may want to talk with the coaches or visit. As a previous poster, some coaches are more supportive of academics. For some sports, it is almost impossible to complete some majors due to scheduling conflicts, and participate in the sport. Also, ask the coach, how much class the athletes miss.</p>
<p>Another thing to ask the coaches, is where do you see me fitting in on the team? Palying time? Will she be happy just being part of the team, or does she want to play or compete reguarly. If she wants to play, a weeker program or Div. III school may be best. IMO a division III may be more supportive of academics. You can look at the teams websites and list of majors to get a feel.</p>
<p>I would suggest she meet the coach at any school she is considering, and also teammates if possible. My D had friends who went on official visits, and
came home saying "no way will I go there" based on the coach or team mates. One girl, had her host tell her that if it wasn't for my sport, I wouldn't be at this school.</p>
<p>If she isn't sure she wants to be an engineer, she is better off going to a school where she can transfer into a liberal arts program if she wants to (eg. Michigan). So I agree with those who have suggested a college with sufficient academic offerings to meet any changing career goals. </p>
<p>If she can't choose a favorite, can she at least start to cross off some that limit her options (such as RPI)? And depending on your family's siutation, perhaps some should be crossed off based on price. Is distance from home a factor? </p>
<p>She also should be thinking about fit and researching what the campus culture would be like at the schools to which she has been accepted. (Reading many old CC threads on each of the schools can be somewhat helpful.) Also, what has her experience been so far? Has she thrived in a large high school or has she attended a small school?</p>
<p>I feel a little harsh about this. It just isn't possible to be indifferent about some of the big questions here: very large vs. very small, urban vs. rural, engineering vs. business vs. ?, U.S. vs. Canada, money, sports opportunity (which simply cannot be equivalent at all 10 schools). Of course, a kid can say "maybe I'd like a city" or "maybe I'd like a small college, but at the end of the day she ought to be able to say to herself "This is what I feel more comfortable with." I think if she just answers three questions, she will have narrowed down her choices considerably: </p>
<p>-- Would I rather go to a really large school or a small school?
-- Do I want to go to engineering school? (Not "Do I want to be an engineer?") Recognizing that this shuts off a lot of other options, and may make it difficult to choose medicine.
-- Where will I have the best chance of enjoying my sport?</p>