<p>Glad to see everybody got their aps in with only a few bruises along the way. Better to push beforehand, especially if it works. I do remember one thing though from my own experience as a kid applying way back when, and that was that once everything was done and submitted, and the results came back, it certainly did no good to dwell on what might have been, or what I should have done.</p>
<p>Nothing was more irritating to me than my dad (God rest his soul, who I loved very much), consistently talking about how “Nobody in our family did very well on standardized tests”, expecially since I was a NMSF and got SATs in at least the top 1%. He had a colleague who sent his kid to prep (which was extremely odd in the 1970s) who got close to perfect.</p>
<p>So pushing beforehand is fine when appropriate and useful; lamenting afterward, whether for parent or student, is completely pointless.</p>
<p>Oh, just as a point of reference, my own kid (step-kid actually), will likely be starting at a community college, assuming he doesn’t screw up somehow and not graduate. Or if he doesn’t enter the service, which has his mom completely freaked out. We had frequent confrontations over the years as I tried to push him (and tried everything, believe me, including counseling), but it just didn’t work. I couldn’t understand why he hated school so much when I always loved it. But he was my step-son, my wife and I married when was 12, basically arrived here the way he was. His own bio dad has nothing to do with him. Turns out pushing him was completely counterproductive. He’s done better since I stopped, and he’s a reasonably well mannered kid and not in any trouble.</p>
<p>Thanks, but we’ve got two more: Rice (today) and Wash U (the 15th). But I think those will go more smoothly. Rice is almost done, and Wash U just might be dropped from the list.</p>
<p>Anyway, it is nice that we’re all at the end, or nearing the end, of this arduous process.</p>
<p>We’re done here…everything was out by the 31st except one supplement, which went about 7:30 last night. </p>
<p>What next? He has to get through his IB Extended Essay, for which he’s already had extensions, and then the TOK paper, which is due the following week, followed by exams.</p>
<p>When I get some energy, I’ll start on FA forms.</p>
<p>On Tuesday I start my 26th season, (season - not year), of coaching some sort of youth sport. What I’ve learned in that time is that most kids want to be shown the way. I have been amazed and saddened by how many kids are left to fend for themselves in the name of “maturity”. They are told to grow up and be adults but aren’t given any instructions on how to accomplish the goal. They want to grow up, they’re happy to do the work, they just don’t know what it is they’re supposed to do. In short, to one degree or another, they want and need to be led. Often times, that includes a good old-fashioned verbal kick in the butt. So I’d suggest not being too worried about the yelling and the tears. They’re happy that someone is taking some sort of leadership role in a process that they really know nothing about.</p>
<p>As for the postpartum depression of the application process, I will share a perspective that will probably, though unnecessarily, leave you even more depressed. A little over 5 years ago I went through the college process with S1. There was the excitement of visiting prospective schools. There was the stress from awaiting Test Scores. There was the psychological warfare of getting him to work on recommendations/applications and finally there were the requisite shouts and tears. </p>
<p>This past December he graduated from college, complete with a double major in Biology and Marine Sciences along with a minor in Chemistry. Not only that, he also has job in his chosen field. As I look back on it now, I have come to the conclusion that the application process was the last time I was “Head Coach”. The application process was the last time I was on the sideline barking out the plays. Since getting into college and moving away, my role has steadily dwindled. I transitioned from head coach to assistant and now onto my current role of occasional “expert consultant”. </p>
<p>The good news is that he’s grown into a functioning contributing adult. His brother starts the app process next year. Since I’m no helicopter parent, I’m down to one last season of having my “game face” on.</p>
<p>The kick is on its way, the ball is heading for the flag, the apps are out. Nothing left to do but sit back, have a drink and see what the final score is.</p>
<p>Yeah, there were a few kids a couple of days ago on other threads who were purposely trying not to submit apps til the last minute. I’ve been on CC long enough to know (and have witnessed with two kids) server crashes, Common App bombing, schools who say 200 words/2000 characters but whose CA edit parameters won’t accept an essay with 230 words and 1900 characters, etc. </p>
<p>I’m the Queen of Procrastination, but I wanted this stuff out in plenty of time to cope with last-minute disasters. (This is why one school’s supplemental app went out FedEx 2-day on Thursday rather than online. We did not need another meltdown.)</p>
<p>mantori, we had our rough spots the last week, too.</p>
<p>Vinceh, similar experience here, but S1 is a junior in college. He’s leaving for a semester in Europe on Thursday. I know it will be a terrific experience for him, but the whole thing just makes me nervous. So I did zero to help him navigate the reams of paperwork that he had to fill out to make this happen (secretly hoping he’d overlook something and wouldn’t be able to go). When he told me he needed a notarized letter from DH & I, I sent it. But that was the extent of my help. To my chagrin, he got it all done and submitted on time, so when he was accepted into the program I bought his plane ticket. That’s been all I’ve done. Every time I bring up something (“Do you think you should bring Advil? What about contact solution?”) he’s already got the answer and got it covered.</p>
<p>I’m no longer the head coach - now I’m just the financial backer.</p>
<p>But I screwed one up myself. I read “500 characters” as “500 words” on Alabama’s application, and my son proceeded to write one (just one, thankfully) 500-word essay that didn’t come close to fitting in the space provided. The ensuing editing session was both fun and ruthless.</p>
<p>Mantori, at one of S2’s schools, the 200 word/2000 char limit was really 2000 char. Therefore, S2 wrote assumed the same thing when he had a 200/2000 limit on another school’s supp (both Common App). Not so! Glad we figured that out before 11 pm last might, lemme tell ya…</p>
<p>ms - I got a chuckle out of your description of New Year’s Eve. Two years ago my son was submitting about the last half of his apps (probably 6) on New Year’s Eve. Most of them were finished, but there was some last minute review and he wanted my input on a few things (I had been in the hospital for about a month and not much help). Mostly it was going through the apps and making sure that everything had been included, then getting the credit card number and submitting. We probably finished about 10:00 p.m. The next day he realized that the Rice application was supposed to have an original signature (the only one that did) and he had forgotten it. He was going to FedEx it to Rice when I mentioned to him that the essay that he had written for Rice (How you will bring diversity to the Rice community? or something like that) had included a rather snarky comment about his mom (to test if she was actually reading the essays he gave her to review - she was) and which he thought had been deleted. He did delete it, but forgot to save the change! At that point he decided that there was no way he was going to get into Rice and he would send the signature page by regular mail (and never bothered to correct the essay). Fast forward to April 1 and he got into Rice and got a nice scholarship to boot!</p>
<p>Ooh! That gives me hope for Rice, to whom my son just submitted his application last night (with two hours to spare, I’m relieved to say). It sounds like they must look past the obvious errors in search of the student’s real voice…or they don’t read the essays at all. Either way, that would probably be good for my son.</p>
<p>That has to be every essay writer’s worst nightmare: Sending it out with something really boneheaded left in that was meant to be removed. My son had a note in one of his essays along the lines of, “Insert something interesting here.” Not terrible, but still embarrassing should he have failed to remove it.</p>
<p>Why Tufts in 50 words? That was brutal - I actually ended up liking what my son said - but it took 64 words.</p>
<p>I’ve always understood the deadlines to be postmark deadlines, not arrival ones, so I’m not overly worried that he’s still working on the application.</p>
<p>I do feel so sorry for all of you having to go through the US university application system! We are from the UK, and here we have never heard of GPAs or SATs, classes are never ranked, and universities don’t give a damn about your extra curricular activities. We just take about 10+ subjects at GCSE level (age 16) and another 4 or so at GCE A level 2 years later and complete UCAS forms to apply for up to 5 universities. It is a common application, and the only rule is that you can’t apply to Oxford AND Cambridge (why not?!!!). Once you get your offers back (hopefully from all 5) you choose one as your first choice and one as your second choice. The offers will be based on your projected A level results - (only Oxford and Cambridge interview a short-list of candidates before making offers to the chosen ones - most other universities make offers without interviews). So Oxford will ask for 3 A grades, and somewhere much less prestigious may ask for C grades, for instance. It’s wise to choose a reach for your 1st choice, and a dead cert for the 2nd choice. Offers are based on your school’s prediction of your results, your AS results (first year of a two year A level course) and your GCSEs. As all of these are national exams it shouldn’t matter what school you went to, although if you were at a sink state school you might get a lower offer to compensate.
It’s really, really, really difficult to get in to Oxford and Cambridge (and well nigh impossible for Americans, unless your kids did IB). Even if you have 4 A levels at A grade, and 11 GCSEs A* grade, nothing is guaranteed.
However - the personal statement might swing it BUT this is a very different creature from the US system personal essay. As I said, Oxbridge doesn’t give tuppence for whether you led the school orchestra, handed out sandwiches to orphan puppies or worked nights to fund your Mom’s coke habit. They are only interested in your intellectual passion, and your specific interest in the subject you want to study. And they can tell whether your essay has been written by your uncle…
For the Mom whose son was turned down by Oxford - you are in good company. Hundreds of deserving kids miss out on Oxford every year, and it’s not their fault. It is just THAT competitive. St Andrews university is a good bet - the Scottish educational system is a better fit for US students, and it’s a great university (but cold…)</p>
<p>Yes, I feel sorry for you - and admiring too, because my youngest son decided that he had no interest in a UK university (and he would have been in the running, at least, for Oxford). He wants only to study in the US, and since we started the whole process way back when he was 16, I’ve come to learn an awful lot about what it takes to apply to an American university. I’ve also learned a great deal about your universities - visited campuses, read up on them, thought about them. University standards in the US are so high - frankly we’ve got little to touch them. Luckily my son had no interest in Harvard, Princeton, Yale etc and in fact hardly touched the top 20 in his applications - you have so many other amazing institutions. He applied for, and was accepted at, Berkeley, UCLA, USC, Columbia and NYU. He chose NYU.</p>
<p>You don’t think your child will get into a top 20 university? Don’t worry! You have such great choices available to you. I hope all your sons and daughters find the place that will inspire them and allow them to shine.</p>
<p>I’ve told this story previously, but S1 listed DH’s job title as “faceless government bureaucrat” on one of his apps. Thought he had deleted it…didn’t realize it was still there til two months later. I’m sure the folks at UMD (which is an area with many, many gov’t EEs) were amused. Was accepted and got a full ride.</p>
<p>phoenix - Impressive list of acceptances, congratulations. Only don’t mention that your kid was accepted at Columbia and chose NYU. They might revoke your College Confidential ID. ;)</p>
<p>But seriously, would it be considered so strange to turn down Columbia for NYU?</p>
<p>I know Columbia has more prestige, and we loved it when we visited, but NYU was so obviously a great match for my son. He said he’d be happy to go to Columbia … if he failed to get an offer to NYU!</p>
<p>Maybe it helps here to be an outsider. On the other hand, my elder son turned down his place at Oxford to go straight into the job market and is now happily taking a Law degree in his spare time through the Open University, so it may be I just have children who ignore the obvious routes and pig headedly go their own way! So far it seems to be working. I’ll let you know in 10 years or so…</p>
<p>That’s why there’s chocolate & vanilla…or Columbia & NYU. Sounds like they’ve done well with the choices they’ve made. Can’t really ask for more than that.</p>
<p>Who cares if other people think it’s strange? Columbia and NYU have very, very different feels to them. Some are going to prefer Columbia, some are going to prefer NYU. It’s the opinion of the person going that matters, not a survey of what other random people would do.</p>
Either way, that would probably be good for my son.</p>