You are completely resistant to doing anything anyone recommends to do.
You asked for someone to tell you what to do as you are incapable of making any decisions on your own.
I recommend a degree in psychology. I’ve answered your question.
[quote=" I went to career services, they told me to go to counseling services. I went to counseling services, they told me to go to career services. It makes no sense, they’re a joke. They keep asking me the same questions like: What do you like to do? What are your interests/hobbies? and boring stuff like that. I want a major, those questions are nowhere near relevant for guiding me to a specific major. Stuff outside of college are completely irrelevant to stuff inside college. I also don’t have a lot of stuff on my resume, what’s the point of the career services checking my resume if there’s not much on it. I haven’t done much to add more things on my resume.
[/quote]
But actually, that’s how most people pick majors. They base it on what they like to do and what their interests are. If not, they will hate their classes and hate their jobs. And likely not do well in them. If that’s not how you want to do it you might as well just pull a major out of a hat. Or find a list of majors that pay the most and close your eyes and point to one. Sounds like you might be getting to that point.
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So I went back and read previous threads you’ve started. It sounds like you only went to college because your family told you to. No one else in your family has gone to college and they believe that a degree is the path to being successful. You never wanted to go and you never had any idea what to major in. In fact, from the start you said you had no interests and have never been involved in any clubs or activities. Does that sound correct?
Does your school have an office/department that works with first generational college kids? Many do and they can be very helpful.
We are all trying to help you figure out what you “like” to do and to be honest, it sounds like you have not done enough to figure that out. Clubs, activities, jobs, volunteering, etc. all give you experience doing certain tasks and help you figure out what tasks you enjoy and which you don’t enjoy. You also say a lot that you don’t like talking to people and that is limiting as well. It’s fine, there are jobs that are relatively solitary, but I wonder if it’s a true lack of interest or a lack of experience. Again, being involved in SOMETHING would help you figure that out. We’ve heard you can’t get a job. Have you tried volunteering? It’s a great way to get some work experience and practice communicating and interacting with people is a work setting. And before you say volunteering isn’t work, it is. You are doing stuff, you’re just not getting paid for it.
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She also states she wants to stay in her room and eat whatever her family gives her and never interact with real people as she feels every thing and everyone is a waste of time. She finds no joy outside of arguing with strangers on the internet. She has no interest in being a productive member of society as that requires too much mental work and she is too fearful to make any decisions on her own.
Her multiple posts show she has the intelligence to do many things but she is mentally holding herself back. She will disagree with any recommendations because in her mind they are illogical yet her lack of experience with anything proves she is the one who lacks proper reasoning.
I truly feel bad for the poster as it seems her parents failed at helping her with her emotional maturity and she is now lacking the ability to form any connections with people and has a complete lack of empathy.
Agreed. Unfortunately it’s a vicious cycle. Because she’s not getting what she wants from those around her she rules them out at useless and isolates herself further.
OP: Do you want anything in your life to change? Picking a major is NOT going to make things significantly better. You’ll get a degree but if you sit in your room on your phone or your computer all 4 years while doing so, you will have a nearly impossible time finding work once you graduate. No one is going to hire you if you have NO experience doing anything. What would you talk about in interviews if you’ve never been in any activities, clubs, done volunteering or work? If your ultimate goal is to get a job then YOU are going to have to start going something about it. Arguing with people online (which you’ve stated in previous posts is how you spend a lot of your time) isn’t going to get you there.
Baby steps, OP.
Walk over to the campus employment office and tell them “I need a job, any job. I’m smart, I figure things out, I am punctual”. Then go to the interview for whatever- the library, helping the techs in the psych department clean the cages of the monkeys, serving waffles in the cafeteria on Sunday mornings, working in the housing office lending keys to kids who have locked themselves out of their dorms.
Be punctual. Do a good job. Be pleasant to the people you interact with (you don’t need to become their best friend, just don’t yell or scowl). Then next semester you’ll be qualified to get a better job- more interesting, better pay. Help a professor edit a book. Work in the alumni office upgrading the database.
Then for the next 5 years when you are interviewing for a job, you’ll have nice anecdotes to tell about your work experience. How you went the extra mile. How you came in early to help out a colleague without punching in. How you covered for your boss when she had strep throat, and managed to keep things running AND do your job at the same time.
that’s it. Not brain surgery. This is how people get jobs-- by starting at the bottom, proving they are good and dependable and don’t create problems, and then getting BETTER jobs because of it.
Academically- I have no idea how to advise you. Except that if you don’t know where you want to go, it kind of doesn’t matter which road you take. So pick the major where you’ve got the most credits, declare that major, finish up your degree, and then take that next step. Once you have some working history, it will be a lot easier for you to find a job which pays the rent vs. starting from nothing with a BA in a random field.
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Earlier in this thread, CupCakeMuffins said “As far as picking a major, any major is better than dropping out so just pick where you can graduate earliest.” I strongly disagree with that statement. Just graduating college with any major isn’t going to get you a job. Believe it or not, there are people out there who graduate college and even end up working in fast food. College costs a lot of money and time, and whether or not it is worth it to continue spending time and money on college depends on you. Your employability after college depends on what major you choose, what experiences you have (work, volunteering, extracurricular, etc.), mental health, maturity/employability skills, your attitude, etc. College is only as valuable as you make it. And just because you drop out doesn’t mean you can’t go back and finish your college education when you have more of an idea of what you want to do and are better prepared to make good use of your time at college. And IMO, I think you could benefit from taking a break from college because it sounds like you don’t really have any interests and overall are just not that into college, which isn’t a good attitude to have for your remaining 2 years of college. If you do take a break from college though, make sure you have a plan on how to pay back loans if you have any.
If you decide to stay in college and choose a major now instead of taking a break from college to figure out what you want to do, and you really don’t know what majors you would be interested in, try thinking of majors that you would be good at. You did say you weren’t that good in economics, but what classes are you good at? That could help you decide. I also recommend considering the employability of majors when deciding which one to choose.
If I had the natural talent and ability, I might end up becoming either an actor, a musician/singer, or an athlete. Of course, I have none of that, so what’s the point in becoming one of those?
@itsgettingreal21 I already said that I wanted to drop out. I find home a lot more enjoyable than school. I eat, drink, play games, watch YouTube videos, sleep. In college, I don’t get that freedom and instead overthink things. If I’m inside my classroom, I just want the class to end right away. I think about leaving already.
@2plustrio Dude, I’m male, not female. I was born male and grew up male. Don’t know where you’re getting female from.
@PrdMomto1 First post: My “interests” are irrelevant to college majors. Eat, drink, sleep, playing games, watching YouTube videos. Are there any majors related to these things? No.
Second post: Yes, 100% true facts in the first paragraph. The second paragraph of your first post, yes there is a first generational thing and I’ve gotten emails for that last year. I wasn’t interested in going to any activities nor had the time for it. I don’t like talking to people nor I know what to tell them. I don’t even know how to properly say “hi” to people. Also, no, I’ve never volunteered before. Where can I volunteer and how would that benefit me in life?
Third post: Read my reply to 2plustrio. Also, most importantly, picking a major that suits me would change everything. Either that or dropping out. Nothing else would change. I’m not interested in any clubs, extracurricular activities, work experience, etc. I don’t care about them. I won’t benefit anything from them.
@blossom I’ve applied to jobs, but I just can’t seem to get any jobs at all. Simple as that. If I can’t get a job at all, I won’t go anywhere further than that. I’m also not asking for brain surgery, don’t know what you’re trying to say there. All of the classes I’ve taken have been terrible and the ones I took at high school were also terrible. What if I try everything and nothing works out?
@CompEngGirl123 I’m not good at one specific subject. The ones that have more pay are the hardest and I don’t know how I can deal with them if I had chosen that major. If I were to take a break, I would immediately drop out forever. Also, if I drop out of college, I’m not going back and continue college. College would be the last thing in my mind if I end up dropping out. It just shows how bad it’s been for me. When I go to campus tomorrow, the first thing that comes to my mind is going back home. That’s it. I’m also in debt and have out-of-state tuition as well, why would I want to continue college in this situation?
Your interests are not conducive to being a functioning adult. You want to do nothing, absolutely nothing. Your emotional growth has been completely stunted and I feel like Im talking to an immature middle school child. However, you are sadly an adult and need to start acting like one.
Digital marketing or digital media are areas of study that could work for you as well.
I apologize about the “she”.
Interestingly enough you dont care about anything yet you expect complete strangers to care about you and give you advice. Its easier for you to say you dont care and easier for you to do nothing and blame it on everyone else than it is for you to put in some genuine effort into anything.
You need extensive therapy to help you so please consider a long term counselor to support your needs so you can become a productive member of society. A therapist could help you work through the pain of coming from a broken family as you have developed the highly inappropriate coping mechanism by attempting to block all emotions to prevent yourself from hurting. Reach out to real people and stop arguing with people on the internet. Find a job and dont expect society to financially support you.
I think many of us have tried to explain over and over that no one is going to tell you what to major in. And even if someone did, I suspect you’d argue with them about why it was a stupid suggestion. You’ve made it clear that one of your hobbies is arguing with people online and you’ve made that pretty clear in this post. You do realize people are trying to help you here, right? And your response is to tell them that their ideas are useless. We all keep trying to explain WHY it’s important you get SOME skills or experience. I explained that no one will hire you when you’ve done nothing but sit in your room and watch youtube. When you asked, “Where can I volunteer and what will that get me in my life?” The answer is, potentially a job. You have no skills and since you say you can’t seem to get a job, volunteering is a way to get some. Same with getting involved with clubs and activities. It gives you something to talk about in interviews. Shows you can handle responsibility, working with others, etc. Without evidence of these basic skills, why would anyone hire you over someone who does have those skills? I would list tons of places you could volunteer but I’m not wasting anymore time on offering suggestions you’ve made it clear you won’t take.
The most important thing to consider here is that I don’t know who created this world, who created humanity/society, when, where, how, and most importantly, WHY. I don’t know why we exist, in fact, I don’t know whether we really exist or not. While some of you may say that what I’m saying here is irrelevant to this topic. It kind of is, because all of these answers that I’m getting are leading me having these questions in the first place.
@2plustrio Acting like an adult is subjective. There are different ways to interpret and define that, but whatever. My university doesn’t offer digital marketing and digital media at all. As for putting genuine effort, I’ve put enough effort into everything, yet nothing works out. I’ve done more than enough, but nothing works out for me. A therapist would give me the same exact advice as everyone else is giving me here. Nothing will change. A therapist would tell me that I have to do everything on my own.
@PrdMomto1 Because nothing is going to work for me even if I try to do all of this 24/7. I’d guarantee you that nothing will work even if I become 100+ years old. Tell me why can’t I get job without doing something? Isn’t that really unfair? People talk about how everyone should be equal and all that stuff. If so, then why can’t people get jobs no matter what their qualifications are? This makes no sense and it’s clearly contradictory. Of course, the advice that I’m given here are the exact same ones as I’m getting from my advisor, career services, and counseling services. I don’t find them helpful enough, because they tell me that I have to do all of this on my own. That’s not help, that’s just telling me that I have to help myself and work on myself.
Nope, it’s not unfair. If I have to hire for a job and I have 2 applicants I will hire the one who I think is most likely to do a good job. So, I base it off the person’s attitude and experience. In an entry level job the people I’m interviewing probably won’t have a lot of experience. But, I will judge whether or not someone seems to really want the job AND if they have any proof that they are reliable and responsible. If they have been involved in some sort of activity or volunteer position that might show me they have those qualities. It also gives them something to talk about in an interview.
No one is saying here (or probably anywhere) that everyone is equal when it comes to applying for jobs. Your education, experience and attitude matter.
Of course the advice is the same. No one can pick a major for you, get a job for you, or make you want to do anything besides sit online and argue with people who are trying to help you. You don’t want advice, you want people to make your decisions for you. You let your family make your decision about going to college and now you blame them and are miserable.
Psychology is fascinating.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6dv8zJiggBs
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_uJs0iGQN0M&t=407s
I refuse to argue with someone like you. I hope someday you find mental clarity and realize that living off the government and others is a very miserable way to live.
OP philosophical questions about where we come from, who we are doesn’t so much matter when you have real world bills to pay. You sound so disillusioned with college that perhaps instead of accruing more and more debt you take a leave of absence and get some intensive psychiatric therapy. You might be surprised at what you could be really good at once you’re healthy. Maybe a trade is more your calling, you work with other people but it’s not like a union pipe fitter needs to have the best social skills or maybe you’ll miss college. Just because you leave college at 20(?) doesn’t mean you can never go back. You have a long life ahead and only you can decide how to live it.
I agree with the volunteering idea. There’s always a need at hospitals, nursing homes, animal/homeless shelters, food banks, the zoo, volunteer fire/EMS. All of those things would build a resume and teach you real world life skills. Good luck.
@PrdMomto1 I was talking about everyone in general. People beg for stuff like “equality” yet they don’t know what they’re talking about. They want “equality” for certain things, but not for other things. This is just mere hypocrisy and delusion.
Anyways, I said everything I needed to say on my interviews, but why they won’t accept me, I don’t know. They never tell me why, while many of them didn’t even call me back after the interview. I need an answer yes or no. No call is worse than a true answer. The employment process is a joke. What else could I have done better in this regard?
@2plustrio I don’t know how that is relevant to this thread. There’s nothing wrong with me mentally. This thread is about what I should with my life, not mental help/clarity. This thread has nothing to do with the latter.
@MistySteel27 “when you have real world bills to pay” So we exist because we’re forced to pay bills? The purpose of doing that makes me wonder if all things should be for free. I’m 100% healthy, so why should I worry about mental health? Mental health has nothing to do with this topic whatsoever. The thread is literally about what I want to do with life, not for mental help. As for trades, I don’t know much about them and I’m not sure whether they’re for me or not. The same goes for volunteering as well, I’m not sure whether it’s for me or not. I don’t exactly know how to approach all of these things on my own, that’s the thing. Also, college is a scam, really.
Any update on what happened to OP?
Closing thread. OP has not been back in over a year. If they return and want to post an update, they can PM me to reopen
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