<p>If he doesn't want to do the work, he's not going to do the work. I realize you're worried about his college chances, but look at it this way . . . If he does well in high school but *only because of your actions<a href="bribes,%20punishments,%20whatever">/i</a>, then what will happen when he is in college on his own? He's an adolescent, it's time to start letting him choose his own path even if the path he chooses is not the greatest.</p>
<p>That's not to say you should just ignore the situation. By all means, talk about how grades are important to getting into college and let him know when you're disappointed with his performance. But keep in mind every kid is different and there is no magic formula; what works for one kid won't necessarily work for another. Maybe your son can only truly be motivated by himself, not you (or a counselor or a tutor.)</p>
<p>(As an example of "what works for some doesn't work for all", whenever my parents took away privileges or punished me, I was extremely resentful and made a point of doing whatever had ticked them off again. No matter how bad the punishment was. I was generally a good kid, not a troublemaker, but I viewed that as manipulation and I resented it big time.)</p>
<p>Have you considered pulling him from the private school and having him restart public school as a 9th grader in the fall? For boys especially, that extra year of maturity can make a huge difference.</p>
<p>I like that last post the best. A year more in a school of his choice could help a ton. I wouldn't go "Tough Love" for a ninth grader -- but do let him know that once you procrastinate, a task doesn't get twice as hard -- it gets ten times as hard. </p>
<p>We break our day into micro units. I work to get DS some exercise after school (blood flow to the brain is important!) My guy likes to walk -- but I'd sign him up for martial arts if he wanted. My sewing area is next to his computer, so after dinner, I sew while he works. When I see him waiver, I'll say "how about a break?" Want a pop? Tell me what you're up to in English?' etc -- sometimes he needs an hour break. Then we nudge through the rest of the pile. I really don't want to be doing this with a 16 year old but it is working and I'm not screaming. </p>
<p>I definitely would run your guy to the doc. You want to know if he has any allergies, gluten intolerance or anything else that keeps the brain foggy. I'd also get his eyes checked (our guy had 20/20 vision at 14 and seriously needed glasses at 15 --- hormones can affect the eyes). </p>
<p>I use win-win all the time (aka Bribes) but I find that short term consequences work the best. I also use choice. "OK, time to get something done after dinner. You want to clean the toilets or do homework?" Man, my guy does NOT want to do toilets. </p>
<p>I've never had success with long term bribery, as in "get all A's and you'll get a go-cart party at the end of the semester." It is just too far out there. Probably my best investment has been the CD seasons of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. "Hey, get through the homework by nine and we'll watch a Buffy" is a nightly refrain. We don't always get there but lots of time the whole family enjoys a round of Buffy to end the day. What is hilarious about Buffy is that she's slaying monsters and saving the world in every episode but the HARDEST part of her life is getting through the craziness of high school. Very funny. </p>
<p>My guy also likes Firefly (another tv series available on CD) and we did get some serious work effort one Thursday when I promised a pizza/Firefly evening with his pals for the following Saturday (48 hours was not too long too wait for the fun).
Good luck!</p>