<p>I hear what you are saying about her not wanting to be labeled or pre-judged in any way. There is, however, another level of being matter-of-fact about the situation, and that's being able to tell someone in a matter of fact way what her physical limitations are. I agree with MQD. There is a way to do this. Her wanting not to draw attention to it is understandable, but there's a step here that she needs to be able to take without fearing that she is compromising her integrity. There's a big difference between getting along when you are living at home and are in school where everyone knows your situation -- and being in a totally new environment. It's not just about the closet or the bunk bed.</p>
<p>Am in agreement with all of the above. You need to let Dsability Srvices know your daughter's issues (and they will ask you to confirm w/letter from her MD). My son has severe food allergies to eggs and treenuts. He never made a big deal out of his food allergies but if a roommate came in with a major pistachio habit, it would be an issue and we felt we needed to have contact with D.S. "upfront". D.S. was very understanding and respectful of son's situation.</p>
<p>This is a great topic. Not to hijack, but if the issue is ADD and the student has been on meds, has never had any sort of accommodations, done very well, and is extremely cooperative with this plan, would you disclose to Disability Services or just let Student Health know as part of the medical history?</p>
<p>The issue about fire raises a good point. The school has legal responsibilities for its students and if you don't disclose a physical disability it's putting them in a very precarious position not to mention potentially place other people at unnecessary risk. It can all be done very low key, but there are a few key people who would need to know what's up... the roommate should know, the RA should know and the school administration (eg housing) should know. </p>
<p>It sounds like some simple accommodations are all that's needed, but it's still important that those key people know so that if, for example, there were a fire in the building the authorities would know to specially check that she's OK and got out OK. God forbid something would happen and you didn't disclose this information, that's a whole different can-o-worms.</p>
<p>hmmmm ... countingdown ... well since how kids react to meds changes as they mature, you can never be sure it will all stay the same in the future as it has in the past. I would inform the disability office as a "just in case" an issue comes up. Maybe he finds he must sit in the front of the lecture hall to pay attention or is not organized enough to take notes or keep up ... sometimes the smallest of issues can have a huge impact and if you let the disability office know then they can be helpful and supportive. These kids need as much support as they can possibly get.</p>
<p>Just say she has a muscle problem and cannot raise her hands above chest level due to an 'accident' (the accident that she got, was it MS?). She was in an accident and this is the result. So now we have to accommodate it. You don't even have to mention when this accident occurred. That really is good enough for folks to know.</p>
<p>You certainly don't have to mention the underlying cause.</p>
<p>The more I think about this, the more I sense that she and you are afraid of telling them. Afraid that telling them is somehow giving in. Afraid that she might be defined by how someone else might see her. Afraid that her hard-won independence and adaptation will be negated if someone else thinks of her a certain way. This is her first (I'm assuming) major transition out of the home, and it is complicated by her disability, the fear of how people will see her, how she be able to communicate her independence and be seen for who she is rather than the few things she cannot do. I think this is the issue to be dealt with, not whether or not they should be told. (Of course they should be told, and sooner rather than later, for a variety of reasons, including, and maybe especially, legal ones.)</p>
<p>CountingDown, I think I would disclose to both the Disability Office and Student Health. Should the kid at some point need some accommodation -- may be hard to foresee now all situations -- you'd want it on record.</p>
<p>zoeydoggie, I'd certainly disclose this.</p>
<p>Pensive ....</p>
<p>the school wants a letter from the doctor.</p>
<p>We were in a similar predicament with DD, who has a chronic illness that she does not tell people about. She didn't want any accomodations but did recognize that although she is currently doing well, at any moment she could have a flare-up and "someone" needed to know her history. She reluctantly agreed to reveal her illness to the disability office, health services and housing director. We obtained one letter (and made three copies) from her specialist which followed the schools criteria (documented the illness, medications, side effects, and possible accommodations needed) and gave this letter to the head disabilities, housing and health services. The head of the Disabilities office had explained to us on the phone that although she is doing well now, if something were to change during a school year, and she were to require assistance, there may be problems with the paper work later. They wanted her disease on record. It is better to have a file on her at all three offices for both her safety and the school's. The health services dept also called us and wanted her to see one of their physician's for a "well checkup" at the beginning of the school year so to establish a rapport for her with one of their doctors (and a baseline). We are both glad now that we sent in the information. Her roommates and school friends do not need to know anything unless DD decides to share.</p>
<p>One thing to remember is, there is a high degree of confidentiality involved in Disabilities Services. It's not as if she will be labeled to the school at large. If, for instance, they change her to a non-bunked room, there would be no reason to even have to tell the roommate if she didn't want to. Certainly, it's not information the average prof will ever hear.</p>
<p>Sometimes, in my classes, a note-taker will appear for an LD student. I am not even told which student is being accomodated, unless the student discloses voluntarily.</p>
<p>Also, with such minor accomodations needed, do you need a formal answer from the DS office? You might try contacting Res LIfe and see if they can work with you independently.</p>
<p>Ack. I talked to her Dr. and he says he will write a letter but his advice is to leave it alone. She is actually no more disabled than a short person. By that he means that if she can get up high enough she can reach anything. The fire escape scenario did not deter him, she can climb up and down ladders (the bunk bed issue is not ladder related). </p>
<p>I am sure that confidentiality will be good. I doubt that anyone will ever remember to connect her face/name/and issue. His fear is that people have their own issues, and some people do not want to be around or have relationships with people with progressive diseases. They figure why bother, they are going to end up in a wheelchair and be no fun or die young. Not valid in DD's case (I hope!). He says sit tight and wait to see if her rate of progression speeds up. </p>
<p>I still think I'll have a chat with the residence life people anyway.</p>
<p>I would go on ahead and still fill out the forms necessary to get her a room that makes it easier for her. Heck, my son has allergies, a very common thing, and I noted that he should get an airconditioned room which are at premium at his school. Colleges are not like high schools in that they are not going to be tracking her as disabled. She will have to request every accomodation she needs. As she should.</p>
<p>Zoey:</p>
<p>You might find these pamphlets from the US Department of Education helpful:</p>
<p>Students</a> with Disabilities Preparing for Postsecondary Education
Auxiliary</a> Aids and Services for Postsecondary Students with Disabilities
The</a> Civil Rights of Students With Hidden Disabilities and Section 504</p>
<p>Thanks tsdad for the links. That helped me clarify my thoughts somewhat. Also the post before that about AC/allergies. It stands to reason that DD needs more rest than her peers since she has less muscle mass. It also makes sense for her to have AC in her room so that she can get the rest she needs instead of sweating out the first 6 weeks of school like the rest of her dorm. I think I am seeing this in a different way, not so much about not asking for much but asking for what would make life easier for her because she has a disability. DUH!!?? Now I just have to convince her to go along with the plan to make life easier.</p>
<p>Zoey, my current son has former health issues that he does not care to have out. No need as there are no current ramifications. However, I can tell you that when the word leaked out, there were no issues. No one really seems to care. If she does not talk about it, it is not a issue of interest to anyone. She will have to go through the trouble of bringing up what she wants, needs and is entitled to, to get anything, and that will be the end of it because no one cares, is the truth which is why the regs for disabilities has to be spelled out. </p>
<p>I think I have said a number of times that my first child was a recruited athlete on a strong college team. You would not believe the number of exceptions those kids have to get special diet, rooms close to the gym, laundry services, airconditioning, etc. Many of them are elite athletes and yet I have never seen a more sickly lot according to the medical needs. Asking for AC was a pittance compared to the services many of his teammates got. Don't for an instant feel that you are asking for anything special. Too many handicapped, disabled proponents have fought too long and hard to get the little that is there to give those equal opportunity to education--simple things like ramps, cut curbs, air conditioning, access. If she just goes for what is available and to what she is entitled and does not harp on it or talk about it, it will disappear in the woodwork. Kids that age are very much into other things than others' disabilities.</p>
<p>Zoey:</p>
<p>Getting your student to go along might be the hardest part. Check out the disability services website at the college to see what their rules are. If this is a large school they might have someone in housing who deals with disability issues so also look, at that. </p>
<p>You are going to have to have the treating professional recommend specific accommodations. Make sure that person writes their letter on letterhead stationery.</p>
<p>Please do it asap.</p>