<p>Reminds me of long, long ago when I hosted my first (in college) “New Years Eve” party. My apartment-mate made the eggnog. I tasted it, and asked how much sugar he’d used. His response: “Sugar? I thought the receipe said ‘salt.’”</p>
<p>This summer, D interned in NYC. She walked from Grand Central every day. After 3 weeks, the train delivered her to a different track. She called me (300 miles away) to ask how to get to work.</p>
<p>The only “help me” question I’ve received to date was how do you saute onions in a microwave?</p>
<p>This is no joke. When DS was about 11 (now 17), the battery for the remote entry on my car key died, and when he saw me using the key to open the car door, he said “I didn’t know it would do that!”</p>
<p>Before S left, I thought that I should make sure he knew how to use the ATM card. I had already told him that since it was a remote ATM that he should take out at least $100 each time to not rack up a $2 fee for $20. Then I saw on his bank statement that had used the ATM.</p>
<p>When I asked, he said that he and his best friend decided to try it. They both freaked out because the machine took the card during the transaction. He thought you swiped it like a cc at the gas station. His friend was panicking, but he decided to continue the transaction to see what happened. </p>
<p>Wish US ATMs would spit the card back at you immediately like they do in Europe. So much harder to leave one in the machine.</p>
<p>These are so cute! </p>
<p>I don’t get many from S (or hub). Sad to say, I’m usually the one calling (asking son: “How do we work the new remote?” [talks me through it]; calling husband: “I’m scared I took a wrong turn in Camden, where do I go?”).</p>
<p>The posters on this thread are obviously quite responsible parties! :-)</p>
<p>4trees - how DO you saute onions in a microwave???</p>
<p>When I was in medical school we spent one month in Mayo Florida living in a trailer with three other students providing the care for the whole county. Each person had to could so many meals for the group. One guy said he would make the spagetti. He had never cooked for himself. He seriously started by putting the raw meat into the spagetti sauce then wanted to add the hard noodles.</p>
<p>Well at least medical help would have been close at hand</p>
<p>KIds…the same garlic kid was put in charge of starting the dishwasher one day while I was gone. Don’t forget to add the dishwasher soap, I said. No problem, no problem, was the reply.</p>
<p>When I came back home, she fessed up that the dishwasher gushed out mondo suds (a la I Love Lucy). You guessed it–she didn’t realize that dishwasher soap and dishwashing soap were 2 different things!</p>
<p>ellemenope,
I did that too when I was in college. When I was shopping with my S for supplies for his apartment a couple of weeks ago, he said that he didn’t need dishwasher soap because he already had diswashing soap. I got to tell him about my experience nearly 30 years ago. He got a good laugh but was grateful that I was able to spare him the same experience.</p>
<p>Actually I did that myself just a few years ago. I realized after i put it in that I had put the wrong stuff in but had no idea what the results would be!</p>
<p>My daughter called one day when she couldn’t find the ATM at the bank – she was standing outside a JoS A Bank clothes store. :)</p>
<p>During junior year I made son’s plane reservation home for Christmas break using my credit card points. I made the reservation in late October and emailed him all the details. The day of the flight he calls me at work. “Mom, do you know what airline I am flying?” No, I say, just check the email I sent you and all the info is there. “Well, I am at the airport now.” OK, I say, give me your password and I will check your email for you. “Well, that would work, but I deleted the email. So now I am at the airport but I don’t know where to go!”</p>
<p>These are cracking me up!!!</p>
<p>fendrock
“4trees - how DO you saute onions in a microwave???”</p>
<p>I have no idea.
Worse is I have no idea why he asked me…</p>
<p>Well, I suppose that someday our kids will have stories to tell on us when we are decrepit…“Let me tell you what I caught my mother trying to do last week…”</p>
<p>10 pm, DS, 23, living hundreds of miles away from home, calls: Mom, my car won’t start–do you know if it’s safe to jump start it when there’s crud on the battery terminals? Me: I have no idea–this is why you have AAA. Son: Do you know my AAA number? Me: It’s on your card. Son: Do you have my card? The ultimate ending to the story: car was towed, friend picked him up and took him home, next day the garage called to say he’d run out of gas–his gauge was broken and he thought he could avoid the cost of fixing it and just wing it, but it never occurred to him that might be the problem when the car wouldn’t start. I have no idea how I raised such a dimwit.</p>
<p>My daughter at about the time she should have arrived in xxxx to another Staff member that was going to share the gas and the 1000mile drive to their summer job. “Mom - I’m not in xxxx I’m in some place called yyyy”<br>
me “you know the junction where I told you to make sure you stayed going East and not to turn North”</p>
<p>“Yes”</p>
<p>“you went North. Did you not notice that xxxx was no longer on the signposts and the highway number was wrong”</p>
<p>It was only @ 150 miles in the wrong direction.</p>
<p>Or the time I got the following call : “Mom I l am lost!” Pull over the car in a lot and tell me what you see" “Well theres a grocery store…” “No help kiddo, try something else” </p>
<p>One of many I have gotten from D #1, a brillant but clueless kid… Despite great directions, maps, prepping etc before the trip. I now keep maps of the surrounding states and an atlas in the drawer with the phone book, because I know I will get this call!</p>
<p>I’ve posted this one before, but I got such a laugh from CCers, I might as well tell it again. I was telling D (who swears she won’t be drinking) that at some frat parties when I was in college, beer was the ONLY beverage available. She said, “Why didn’t you just carry a bottle of Aquafina in your purse?” I informed her that even if they had bottled water in 1979, NO ONE would have dreamed of paying $1.50 for something you could get for free.</p>