Unhappy freshman

Student Lounge College Life
1

<p>I'm a freshman attending a big state university. I had the opportunity to go to my dream school, but after a month or so of deliberating I decided to go here because the other school would put a burden on my parents financially. I am living in the honors college community.</p>

<p>I am really not fitting in here yet. I have social anxiety, and have trouble making and keeping friends. So far I have not made a single friend. I spend all of my time with my boyfriend, and I've been going home nearly every weekend because all I do is watch tv with my boyfriend in his room (because he is in a single room and I have a double room).I have bouts of depression that have to do with not having any friends and feeling like I am missing out on my college experience by not going to my dream school.</p>

<p>The thing that has made this even more difficult is the fact that I am in overflow housing. Everyone on my floor is of varying majors, and I am the only freshman. No one leaves their door open and there is no sense of community. The freshman engineering floor, by contrast (engineering is my major), is a very friendly place where everyone knows each other and they all do things together quite frequently. This is in a different building from where I am. I tried desperately when I was assigned this room to get into the freshman community, but to no avail. Along with a big university comes a big bureacracy. </p>

<p>So now my dilemma is this: there are empty rooms on the freshman engineering floor, and I know if I bugged the housing people now, I could get in (because they said I would have to wait two weeks and it has now been a month). I am not sure I should do this so late in the year. It would disrupt the routine (however lonely this routine is) that I have grown used to, and I might not even make any friends. I have no problems with my roommate right now, but I might not be so lucky if I change rooms. </p>

<p>Should I switch now or perhaps at the end of the semester? Or submit myself to a friendless college experience?</p>

<p>Thank you for reading this.</p>

2

<p>“I can potentially fix my situation 1/32 of the way into college, or I can be friendless for the next 4 years.”</p>

<p>You know what to do – go talk to housing. Talk to a counselor, too; you need to try to alleviate your anxiety sooner rather than later. Don’t worry too much about making friends; it took me awhile to start making friends too, but it’s gotten better with every passing year. :slight_smile: It’ll happen!</p>

3

<p>Going to your dream school or any school for that matter does not guarantee you friends. It is all on you.</p>

<p>If your parents can’t handle it financially, they can’t handle it financially. I didn’t even try to justify 60K debt over two years to attend my girlfriend’s private school (a goal I had in mind for 3 years that I wanted to do, was accepted, but I could not afford it). </p>

<p>You have social anxiety and wonder why you’re friendless. Kinda obvious there. Put yourself out there, start volunteering for things, get a job on campus, join clubs. It’s really not that hard. I am speaking from the experience of being relatively friendless my entire life up until a year or two ago.</p>

4

<p>I’m also a freshman at a big public school university!
“big ten university”</p>

<p>It’s a big party school here
I found it hard to adjust at first because everyone here is so focused on partying and frats plus most of them had friends from high school</p>

<p>Myself on the other hand knew no one coming here and I’m generally a shy person
I also consider myself very awkward </p>

<p>but after a month I joined some clubs and made friends who have similar
interest - values as me</p>

<p>I’m slowly starting to feel more at home now even though it took me so long
I know people who took as long as a whole semester to adjust and make friends</p>

<p>Just join some clubs/organizations and really put your self out there if you really don’t like it after a semester than maybe start considering other schools if its really that big of an issue for you</p>